If I appear at all patient....

in this adoption process, it's only because I will soon have 7 young ones between the ages of 2-8. I'm not in an ultra big hurry ☺
Oh yes, I love Meadow and Flint! And the rest of those little crumb snatchers also. (I even like them sometimes too.) I am also painfully aware of my own limitations and weaknesses and am quite certain a red cape exists nowhere in my wardrobe. My responsibility is about to increase in a very real, very significant way.

I recently realized the years of birth breakdown for the children:
2001, 2003, 2004, 2 in 2005, 2006, 2007. Whoa baby.
This is going to require some extreme parenting. Plus, M & F are 4 and almost 5. Not babies. Old enough to have opinions about all this, and memories and real grief, and who knows what else??? Things could get quite rough and bumpy for all of us. That's just the reality.

So, slow and steady, slow and steady, with plenty of deep breathing (and a ready supply of sugary sweets on hand) surrendering it ALL to God, asking that His will be done, not my own is how I'm endeavoring to proceed. I believe it's the only way I'll be any good to any of us. Not too high with the highs, not too low with the lows...

Trust, trust, trust. That word keeps coming to mind. I have prayed that we would not push through any doors that were not widely, graciously opened by God. I trust that He knows what He is doing here. I want for each one of us what He wants for each one of us, exactly and precisely. Oh Lord, my Lord, give me Your agenda, let me lay my own aside.

(Also high on the priority list is making a concerted effort to keep my ability to laugh, a sense of humor. May come in handy.)

I am aware my responses are perhaps somewhat atypical. I see the way other people go through the process. I know how I should be behaving, speaking.

I feel thankful. Very humbled. Honored. Privileged. Nervous. Unworthy. Sad for much. Wholly, wholly reliant.

Thank you for listening, for being there. For allowing me to be honest.
Now, off to have some fun today with the kids I often like ♥

Hey Dolly, Guess What?

For your second birthday, your mom and dad got you a new brother and sister.
We passed court.

Well Hello 35, How do you do?

Baked carmel french toast for breakfast this morning. Oh, yum.

Christmas pics

From Tyden, I got just what I always wanted. A tape measure ♥

A homemade bookmark from Jayla ☺ I'm obviously quite happy about it. Note my corny grin.

Food....again

Trying to get back on the ball here.

B: kids - their Christmas cereals
dad - bran flakes
mom - leftover cream puff dessert (recipe from Lindy :)
L: leftover lasagna from Christmas eve
Sn: oranges
D: chicken fajitas, spanish rice, beans
Dessert: granny smith apples dipped in warm, homemade carmel (compliments of my mom) with coffee

J & O's Theatrical Debut

Spectators, cheerleaders, moral support lenders

Onyx's solo/duet

Mary and Jesus

Getting distracted

It was a fantastic play with tons of great music. There is something really special about watching your children on stage. Warms the ♥

Target

pickles - 16 oz jar
granny smith apples - 3 lbs
red delicious apples - 3 lbs
flour tortillas - 12
evap milk - 2 cans
lg marshmallows - 1 bag
milk - 5 gallons
mt high yogurt - 32 oz
fresh broccoli and cauliflower - 12 oz
frozen broccoli - 32 oz
______________________
$35.52

Oops, sorry again.
Having trouble uploading pics. ☺
Merry, merry Christmas!

♫ Christmas Eve Eve

Sorry - fell off the wagon. Not reporting in like I said I would.
Blogging every day is hard work!
Still holding steady with the groc. budget. Still eating the same old things.
O is (finally!) better.
So far, everyone else is doing fine. Our fingers are crossed XXXX
Looked at lights around C.S. with cups of hot chocolate and coffee. Fun.
Watched A Christmas Carol. It's a Wonderful Life tonight's feature presentation.
Gingerbread boys and girls made - check. Gingerbread boys and girls eaten - check.
We're ready for Christmas. It helps when you don't do much. I ♥ the simple life.
Court date Dec 25. Praying, Let God's will be done in His good timing.

The Bread

Is here. I had difficulty finding the actual recipe, because I (too, like you, Cassie) have a hard time reading like things like this all the way through. It's on pages 3&4.
It is easy, easy, easy! And good, good, good!
My husband has declared it his favorite bread ever.
It's a new Deutschland staple.

Sunday

B: cherry coffee cake
L: macaroni with shredded cheddar cheese, apples
Sn: canteloupe, oranges
D: chicken noodle soup, THE bread (of course!), pickles (strangely??)
Dessert: cherry coffee cake and coffee (Again. I made a double batch.)

Walgreens

gumdrops - 2 bags (for Clover's bd cake)
cherry pie filling - 2 cans
coconut oil - 2 jars (for Meadow's hair)
chapstick - 3 sticks
oscillococcinum - 1 box
facial bronzer
___________
$31.04

If I count this "household stuff" I am down to $115 left until Jan 8.
We decided we would like to make fondue a New Year's tradition. Wowzers. Maybe some swiss cheese will have to be bought with the kid's allowance. ☻ Fondue isn't the most wallet friendly meal.
Since we eat out practically N E V E R, I should probably just let myself buy some cheese.
If you were thinking of giving me a Christmas present, cheese please ☺

Last month, I spent $800 on food and household items. Obviously, much of what we are eating has come from that. Normally, I would have spent another $800 this month. And so on....
So, I still see spending $300 this month as saving at least $500.

Clearly, we can not eat exclusively on what I have recently purchased at the store. Not without radically altering our diet to include spoonfuls of flour washed down with soy sauce.

I am enjoying this experiment very much though. It's good to scale back and think about every, single dollar. I believe when we return to a more normal budget, (I will try next month for $500. Don't worry, I will not record it!) it will feel absolutely generous.
Our travel to Et is going to be costly. This is the only way I can figure to drum up some cash with my limited time and abilities. (No crafts to sell here. Not ever. Never. No skills. If I made you something *nice* you may pay me to keep it out of your sight. Now there's an idea.....)
***************************************
The play Friday night was as I suspected it would be: sweet ♥
Onyx got quite sick Saturday with a very sore throat and fever.

This morning Bobby took the girls to the play and I took the boys to the emergency-care place to have O checked for strep. Negative. The good Dr. did say that his tonsils looked "gnarly" so he gave him antibiotics anyway.
Needless to say, O missed his second performance.
Little bummer boy.
*****************************************
Yesterday:
B: french toast, oj, apples,
L: tortillas with hummus and carrots
Sn: pineapple
D: banana bread, scrambled eggs, rest of the pineapple, coffee
Dessert: Cherry coffee cake

Safeway

baking powder
soy sauce
powdered sugar
bran flakes - 3 boxes
apple sauce - 1 lg jar
double noodle soup - 4 cans
box of chicken broth
tomato sauce - 1 lg can
rotoni noodles - 2 boxes
egg noodles - 16 oz
tortilla chips
honey
flour tortillas - 12
cake mix box
kleenex - 2 xl boxes
18 eggs
sharp cheddar - 32 oz block
milk - 4 gallons
real butter - 2 boxes
bread - 1 loaf
hard salami
ham shank (89cents/lb. $8.80 total)
bananas 2.5 lb
cantaloupe - 2
whole pineapple - 1
green leaf lettuce
whole carrots - 3 lb
gala apples - 3 lb
______________
$83.72

Yesterday: cereal, crackers and pb, kettle chips, clementines, apples, cookies!, fruit leather, individual cheese pizzas made on Holly's bread, more cookies

This is the picture we selected. I feel like I should say, Merry Christmas from our family to yours or something like that now....
And best wishses for a Happy New Year!

Yesterday: cereal, clementines, pears, bagels w/ cr cheese, cookies, cookies, cookies (we made sugar cookies with cutters and ate, and ate, and ate. Why didn't I take pictures? Was it because everyone was stripping their shirts off due to the flour explosion we affectionately refer to as baking taking place in the kitchen? I dunno....anyway, no pics) leftover pasta for dinner, apples, more cookies, hot chocolate.
Feeling heavy today. Because of course, I had to dunk some cookies in my coffee already this morning.

Christmas play tonight and Sunday morning at church. I am crazy excited to see J & O do their parts. J is Mary. O has a solo. Yes, he inherited my fine singing abilities! It's going to be great.

Wednesday

B: oatmeal, cinnamon, brown sugar
Sn: oranges, M&Ms
L: PB&J sandwiches
Sn: leftover soup
D: Pictured above (Yes Holly, we LOVE the bread!!)
After dinner: hot tea

~

A couple weeks ago, there was an article in the NY Times about an unusual holiday message -"No God, No Problem. Be good for goodness' sake." Ads with this slogan were going up on city busses.

“We don’t intend to rain on anyone’s parade, but secular people
celebrate the holidays, too, and we’re just trying to reach out to our people,”
said Roy Speckhardt, the executive director of the American Humanist
Association. “To the degree that we are reaching out to the godly, it’s just to
say that you can be good without god. So their atheist neighbor down the street
shouldn't’t be vilified as though he is immoral.”

The article mentioned a billboard sign in Idaho that stated: “Good without God. Millions of humanists are.”

It's got me wondering if this is the impression we have left. That the point of God in our lives is so that we may be good. As if morality is our greatest gain, our purpose, our highest destination and end goal in developing and desiring fellowship and communion with, knowledge of, access to our Creator.

The Bible clearly states there is none good, no not one. Our righteousness is as filthy rags. Like a leaf, we will fade away. We are dust. Our life on this earth is but a vapor, here today, gone tomorrow. Sin ensares us. We fall short.

Only God is good.

The thing is, we are not in relationship with God to be good, are we? As followers of Christ, does self proclaimed goodness have to anything at all to do with 'the holiday season'?

Ultimately, most of us come to the end of our own rope where we realize we can't do it alone. We don't want to. There is too much to take on. We are human - vulnerable, fallible, flawed, limited, finite.
All the money in the world, prestige and honor, the broadest protection, the best health care, favor in the eyes of men, it all only goes so far. There is no sure, fool proof way to guarantee the most rewarding, happiest, this life has to offer. Each of us is susceptible, open to so much. Loss, heartache, pain, suffering, death....no one is immune. No one. Obviously, not everyone makes the choice to believe, but so many come to a crossroads, a moment where they just know. This surely can not be all there is.

How we try and try. We safeguard and protect and preserve and work, work, work to improve our odds. Not that there is anything really wrong with that, right? Stewardship is worthwhile. Being faithful with what is entrusted to us, our responsibility. And yet, despite our best efforts to the contrary, it is true. 10 out of 10 people will die.

As we anticipate and celebrate the birth of our living Lord and Savior this Christmas season, the point is not at all that we are to be good. It is much more that we humbly recognize we need Him. We want Him. We adore Him.

It is not about us being anything. We simply receive.

We fall down before Him and worship, our King of Kings! Emmanuel - God with us - The One Who Is Good! No matter what we face, He is there. We have been redeemed, saved, bought with a precious price - the blood of our savior who first came to earth, born in a manger. We did not earn this with our goodness, we were freely given a gift of grace. All praise and glory rightfully belongs to Him.
We have a bright, eternal future, such wonderous hope.
We have a present full of comfort and mercy and peace and joy unspeakable, even amidst the toil each of us will endure.
That, is oh, so very very good.

Creamed chipped beef on toast

Dinner:

B: bagels w/ cream cheese, OJ
Sn: pretzels w/ hummus
L: I forget (wink, wink)
Sn: apples

Of course they did not cut their hair! You should see mine after spending a "girls afternoon" though. Preeeetttttty.
Good grief that's a lot of blogging for one day.

Play: Crank it up: Repeat as necessary

Dear Quiver,

Be filled already!
5 is several. Why are you not content, satisfied, comfortable?
These baby-from-my-belly pangs are killing me....slowly, slowly, slowly.
I thought they would be long gone by now. Unfortunately, not.
Been working on my blog book. I'm so far behind it brings back many memories of days gone by. Sweet, sweet time. It passes so quickly.
•••••••••••••••••
Apparently I need a mob at home. Because when there are only 2, I lose all illusion of structure. Boys went with grandpa to finish up a Christmas project they began last week. Girls stayed here. Ice cream for lunch? Sure. Chips and pickles for dessert? Why not. Don't feel like napping? Fine. Think you should pull all the clothes out of your closet and dress up? Great idea. 2 baths within 3 hours? Okey dokie.
Food fight? Have at it.
Want to cut your own hair? Here are some scissors.

He came to our house

To help bake. Spiderman. How lucky are we?

B: cereal
Sn: blueberry muffins
L: tortilla chips with hummus
Sn: fruit - apples and bananas
S: broccoli cheese potato soup medley magnificent mix (that's what I'm calling it. has a nice ring to it :) modified from a broccoli chowder recipe (Thanks Steph!) with warm crusty bread (Thanks Holly!)
After dinner: decaf coffee (yes, our kids drink it too)

Kitchen is now closed for the day.

Outtakes

See there? I told you on her 8th birthday the girl on the right is officially a tween. Check out that scowl! Oy.

We really considered using one of these last 2. ☻

When Tripod is your friendly, *free* photographer, you don't hold exceptionally high hopes for awe inspiring portraits. We did get a decent one that I've cropped, enhanced and printed for cards. Good enough.
We figure it's only for a few weeks anyway, because a couple people are missing. Soon, we will have a friend photograph the whole family. That will be a happy day.

Shopping

bread - 2 loaves wheat
organic chicken broth - 1 box
sweetened cond milk - 2 cans
lasagna noodles - 1 pkg
raisin bran - 3 boxes
oats - 2 lbs
milk - 5 gallons
frozen broccoli - 20 oz
cream cheese - 4 bars
10 lb bag potatoes
bagels - 2 pkgs
celery - 1 bunch (what is celery called?)
bananas - 4.5 lbs
apples - 20 total
clementines - 3 lbs
unbleached white flour - 4 bags
wheat flour - 1 bag
ketchup - 1 bottle
sprinkles for cookies - 2 bottles
brown sugar - 1 bag
peanut butter - 2 sm jars
______________
$70.26

b: oatmeal, 1 large apple, cinnamon, agave nectar
l: bean and cheese burritos, salsa
sn: blueberry/citrus muffins made with frozen berries
s: big kids - awanas
little kids & dad - pasta with cheese
mom - 2 muffins
sn: animal crackers, peanuts, hot chocolate

Hello? Still there? Tired of food chat yet?
Only 3 more weeks ☺

She thinks she can dance

So does she.
And this one too.
On the table no less! And they do too.
Movie intermission. I told them I would play whatever they wanted for 15 minutes. They chose to dress up and dance. What choice did I have? They made me do it. That husband of mine snapped the photo. It's ok.
These are my babies.
Who want to dance with me.
Only for a while.
Some day, it will become incredibly odd for me to wear a knight/cape/cowboy costume and boogie to Birdie Bye Bye. It just will.

Boring Saturday Post

B: cereal
S: goldfish and veggie straws
L: Kids: apples and PB
Me: leftover Indian (oh, oh yum)
Bob: tortillas with cheese
S: popcorn and real butter
S: swiss chicken, peas
*********************
Christmas movie marathon this afternoon: The Christmas Story and Elf (funniest movie EVER)...so far. Santa Claus may be coming to town.
*********************
Going to the grocery store tomorrow. We'll see how the saving plan works when it's time to acutally purchase food. ☺

Tip #2: Have your friends cook for you

Yesterday Clover & I:
Breakfast: cereal
Lunch/Snacks: whatever we felt like eating whenever we felt like eating it - leftovers, crackers, peanut butter, fruit, (candy!)
Supper: Bob made pasta with marinara sauce for himself and the kids. Served it with corn. I had book club (glory hallelujah praise God amen) at On the Border. He also made cinnamon rolls. Oh yes, he did. I'm in love ♥ sweet love.
****************************************
Today:
Breakfast: 7 scrambled eggs with melted mozzarella, and rest of the cinnamon rolls, oj
Lunch: Packed for J&O at Friday school- crackers, nuts with dried fruit, fruit leather, gingersnaps
TSC&ME - leftover spaghetti
Supper: Going to the Natarajan's for dosai!! (glory hallelujah praise God amen)
I'm making baked apples and cinnamon to take with some vanilla ice cream
***************************************
The sun is shining. The temp is registering on the thermometer. In the words of the great Wil.i.am, Tonight's gonna be a good night. Mazel tov.

Date Night

Meal Amendment: Normandy vegetable blend, not green beans.
Clover with her pretty morning hair. Yes, she wears that many layers to sleep. Our thermostat is still set at a balmy 60 degrees. No one here seems to mind......yet. ☺

Food savings tip #1: Let someone else feed them

Grandpa picked up the 4 big kids after we finished school to take them to their house FOR THE NIGHT! This is a rare treat for me them. In fact, I can not recall the last time they spent the night there. How about that for timing? Just when we're on an extreme food savings plan, 4/7 of our eaters won't be here for 4 meals. He's bringing them back after lunch tomorrow. Purrrrrfect.

Breakfast: oatmeal with cinnamon, agave nectar, and apple slices

Snack: 5 pretzels that were saved from last night, grapefruit (4 total) [No pretzel left for me. I was forced to eat Laffy Taffy and chocolate behind my children's backs. I had NO choice.]

Lunch: with the crew gone, Dolly and I had moose tracks ice cream. (Of course we did! While the cats are away the mice will play.) I had a bowl of leftover soup first, and she had some veggie straws. (Yes, that's a good lunch for her. Veggie straws I said.)

Supper: The 3 of us are having steaks, mashed potatoes, and green beans. 2 of us will enjoy some wine.

It's quiet here. The little one isn't very noisy.

I ♥ this day.

Menu

Breakfast: cereal for everyone but Jayla who had leftover oat meal
Snack: toasted leftover bagels cut into pieces (because I had 1.5 bagels and 5 kids) and cinnamon raisin bread
Lunch: tortilla chips and hummus, handful of m&ms
Snack: apples and bananas with graham crackers
Supper: vegetable lentil soup, slices of monterey jack cheese, homemade pretzels
*cup of hot water and honey for the kids before bed

Making pretzels: Ty mad that Stryder has the utensil
Better now

We decided to eat them for dessert, dipped in melted butter with cinnamon and sugar. Clover opted to lick off the topping.

Lentil soup. We only eat meat 2-3 x/week. No meat in this meal.
Snowed in...AGAIN. Making crafts today.

It was her blog that inspired our plan for the month. Usually we spend 800-1000/month on food and household items. This is everything, including our pay as you go cell phones, diapers, batteries, beauty products. We buy meat and milk at the regular store too, nothing is bought separately.

So, if we can pull it off, there will be a significant savings!

Yes, I'm documenting it all. Seriously, if this kind of thing does not interest you, you may not want to come by, although I hope you do ☺

$300 Challenge

I saw this on a blog of a mother of 10. She cut their grocery budget back for one month, all the way to $300 and blogged about their meals and food purchases throughout.
If this sounds boring to you, you may not want to tune in for the next 30 days ☺
I'm starting. Mid-month. Today to be exact. Dec 8 - Jan 8.
The woman who did this was successful, and her family was well fed. She saved several hundred dollars in a months time. It was during harvest for their sizable garden, so that helped. But, they have double the kids we do, so I'm figuring we can still do it when the ground is frozen and our garden is long gone.

And, no more purchases for me. Or big daddy. No matter how charitable, cute, or fun they may be. If you don't get a Christmas present from us, you'll know why ♥

We have the kid's (small) gifts taken care of, most of them bought last summer. Cereal : check.

We've got plane 4 tickets and 2 visas to purchase and we need to get serious about saving some cash again. It's hard to live extremely frugally (saving for adoption expenses) for extended periods of time and we have recently let up a little. Partly to live it up before we face the challenges that lie ahead after we bring the kids home. In a couple months, life will get full tilt with major transitions for all, so recreating some now, while we can still *relax* has seemed like a fine idea ☺ We haven't done very much, but it adds up quickly.

Okay, we went to Costco and spent $380 on Friday, Dec 4. We're starting well stocked. That should help.

Here goes.

What we get for not doing Santa.

No sweet letters written by the children to request possessions each year from the white bearded, sleigh driving, jolly, cookie gobbling guy in the big red suit inhabiting the North Pole and employing many a flying reindeer with his small pointy eared, green and red clad, talented toy making elf friends. Their mother would like to hold onto such correspondence between her luvbugs and their imaginary friend for years to come, priceless keepsakes from Christmases gone by. But we definitely ruined true, heartfelt letters by letting them in on the little secret.
During school this morning they wrote to God instead. After all, He sees them when they're sleeping, He knows when they're awake, He knows when they've been bad or good for goodness sakes.
Exhibit A: Onyx's
Jayla's:

The kids (in their school uniforms, of course) showcasing the finished products:

I will hold onto them and weep when they get too big to bother with such notes.

It is bitter cold, white and snowy.

We're having these for supper tonight with warm cinnamon raisin bread. (If I don't yank the bread out of the maker first and devour it myself leaving none for my people. I would tell them the incredible smell drove me to do it, and it would be true!) Aren't they cute? I can't remember who linked to them, but I thank you. Because really, everything, (yes, everything) tastes better wrapped in bacon.