At the police station. For background checks. It was my first time in one of those places. That's a good thing, right? Not at all like on tv. Kids thought it was super cool. I told them if they misbehaved, they would get tossed in the clink. Then, I shared the menu, bread and water. They decided that wasn't so bad since it's what they're used to.
We were asked twice if all these kids were ours and if we were really filling out adoption paperwork?!? Since there were a total of 10 people or so there, that's only 20%
I'm calling that pretty good.
Explained to the nice, inquisitive people, some of us are just large family-types. If you are one, you understand. If not, you might call us cRaZy, or saints, or irresponsible. I'd have to agree on the first one. I've never said we weren't crazy. Irresponsible, definitely not.
But, this is how the world goes round. It takes all kinds of opinions to make an interesting conversation.
We believe the adoptive community is a beautiful bunch of crazies, gladly responsible for more than their share.
Recording this for the blog book. Wanted to try and squeeze in a mug shot souvenir because I forgot my camera. A girl doesn't get fingerprinted every day! Worth documentation. Hope it's my last time.....ever ;-)
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
When Passion Ignites
Normally, I would consider making Dr. appointments for physicals for the entire family, including a follow up 2 days later on TB tests for all 7 of us, a majorly inconvenient pain. My usual self might put it off until the last minute, then complain about the traumatic experience that awaits us in a tiny little room waiting and waiting and waiting with 5 kids for our nice pediatrician, who is often running late. I would probably wince at the thought of my poor babies screaming in not-so-harmonious unison after they all receive shots, one after another. I might wish aloud they could give us a group discount for the co-pay.
For anything else, if I opened my mailbox and found a rather large and daunting stack of paperwork I would feel like running away. Far, far away. I might perhaps set it on my desk and let it sit....and sit.....and sit....until I miraculously stumbled upon a few spare moments (or hours) to tackle it. I could very well consider it a bother, a nuisance. The notarizing, fingerprinting, reference gathering, form filling, reflecting on my past, my parenting, my marriage, my strengths and weaknesses....none of these the most pleasurable way I could imagine spending time.
Yet now, in this situation, I do not feel the way I normally would.
Where is my old self? I can't find her.
She has been replaced with a Woman on a Mission, who is much more a force to be reckoned with than her alter-ego.
A woman who is determined in the pursuit of caring for the orphan, ready to do what is necessary.
One who will take this challenge, head on, and get to work.
Her husband is still amazing her. He is making his lists too. He isn't wasting time grumbling about what needs to be accomplished.
I don't recognize this person. She is new to me. I love her ignited passion. I love her husband too. I think she's ok with me diggin her man. I don't recognize him either, although I must say, I do find him quite handsome : )
It would be nice to keep this woman around, especially if she were as motivated about laundry and potty training as she is about adoption paperwork.
She is blessed with a burden and it is transforming her.
Obviously, she enjoys referring to herself in the third person, which is kind of odd.
This mama is now going to wish you a fantastic several days as she's got to get busy with the *few* things on her list to do.....
For anything else, if I opened my mailbox and found a rather large and daunting stack of paperwork I would feel like running away. Far, far away. I might perhaps set it on my desk and let it sit....and sit.....and sit....until I miraculously stumbled upon a few spare moments (or hours) to tackle it. I could very well consider it a bother, a nuisance. The notarizing, fingerprinting, reference gathering, form filling, reflecting on my past, my parenting, my marriage, my strengths and weaknesses....none of these the most pleasurable way I could imagine spending time.
Yet now, in this situation, I do not feel the way I normally would.
Where is my old self? I can't find her.
She has been replaced with a Woman on a Mission, who is much more a force to be reckoned with than her alter-ego.
A woman who is determined in the pursuit of caring for the orphan, ready to do what is necessary.
One who will take this challenge, head on, and get to work.
Her husband is still amazing her. He is making his lists too. He isn't wasting time grumbling about what needs to be accomplished.
I don't recognize this person. She is new to me. I love her ignited passion. I love her husband too. I think she's ok with me diggin her man. I don't recognize him either, although I must say, I do find him quite handsome : )
It would be nice to keep this woman around, especially if she were as motivated about laundry and potty training as she is about adoption paperwork.
She is blessed with a burden and it is transforming her.
Obviously, she enjoys referring to herself in the third person, which is kind of odd.
This mama is now going to wish you a fantastic several days as she's got to get busy with the *few* things on her list to do.....
What a wreck!
Me. I am. A wreck.
Heavy hearted for much.
Yesterday:
Read news story of slain family after father lost his job. The economy is getting worse and worse. More people losing employment. Many suffering.
*
Praying for Alicia's friend, with 3 kids, including a 6 week old nursing baby, who mysteriously wound up in the hospital very, very ill and her husband may find himself out of work soon.
*
Saw this picture on Jody's blog:
*
Woman ahead of me in line to check out at Wal Mart shared that she was buying Valentine's decorations to put on their Christmas tree. Why is their tree still up, you might ask? Her husband of 25 years, the love of her life is at home dying of cancer. He can't move much. Is in pain. Would like to look at some pretty decorations during his last days on earth and she is there to buy them. For him. She hates cancer. I hate it for her.
*
Saw Ted Haggard on Oprah. Felt deeply sad for their family. Deeply inspired by his wife and children. I know some terrible things were done, the pain caused and deception was very real, but my heart ached for the price they have paid. It is steep. He has helped many and that is also very real. I could relate to his words about his internal struggle. Not with the same issues he deals with, but with the nature of sinfulness itself. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. We are all hypocrites from time to time to one extent or another. Praying for them and for the church. (I have no desire or energy to debate this. Please, please, I am asking on this one if you disagree to keep it to yourself. Or talk about it with someone else. I kindly thank you.)
*
On Courtney's blog this morning:
*******************************************************************************
What if this were you, or me?
Isaiah 49:13
Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.
Lord, please comfort your people.
Heavy hearted for much.
Yesterday:
Read news story of slain family after father lost his job. The economy is getting worse and worse. More people losing employment. Many suffering.
*
Praying for Alicia's friend, with 3 kids, including a 6 week old nursing baby, who mysteriously wound up in the hospital very, very ill and her husband may find himself out of work soon.
*
Saw this picture on Jody's blog:
*
Woman ahead of me in line to check out at Wal Mart shared that she was buying Valentine's decorations to put on their Christmas tree. Why is their tree still up, you might ask? Her husband of 25 years, the love of her life is at home dying of cancer. He can't move much. Is in pain. Would like to look at some pretty decorations during his last days on earth and she is there to buy them. For him. She hates cancer. I hate it for her.
*
Saw Ted Haggard on Oprah. Felt deeply sad for their family. Deeply inspired by his wife and children. I know some terrible things were done, the pain caused and deception was very real, but my heart ached for the price they have paid. It is steep. He has helped many and that is also very real. I could relate to his words about his internal struggle. Not with the same issues he deals with, but with the nature of sinfulness itself. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. We are all hypocrites from time to time to one extent or another. Praying for them and for the church. (I have no desire or energy to debate this. Please, please, I am asking on this one if you disagree to keep it to yourself. Or talk about it with someone else. I kindly thank you.)
*
On Courtney's blog this morning:
"joel, jess and little cora.
i don't know them.
a friend of mine does.
they took their sweet little girl to the doctor last week - because her ear infections didn't seem to be getting better.
24 hours later (and lots of tests, etc), she was diagnosed with cancer in her kidney and liver.
she's had multiple surgeries since then.
and started chemo last night.
i can't stop thinking about them.
and hugging my own kids a little tighter.
just pray."
*******************************************************************************
What if this were you, or me?
Isaiah 49:13
Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.
Lord, please comfort your people.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Still.....
-Awake at 4:00 am when my husband's alarm went off for him to get up.
-Drinking my very cold cup of java, from several hours later, when I finally drug my weary self out of bed.
-Pleased with myself for having O pay me $3.99, the price of some new/old pants from Goodwill, when he decorated the ones he was wearing yesterday with marker.
-Aware that after that 1 good-mothering moment of teaching a tangible lesson to my son, I will probably have about 25 less than ideal responses, which I will not be nearly as eager to share.
-Wondering if loading the crew up to go to big bad (dum dum duuuuum) Wal-M is a good idea this afternoon, but necessity dictates.
-Saddened by the news story I read this morning about a man who killed himself, his wife and 5 children after being laid off.
-Thankful that in these troubled economic times, my husband has stable employment.
-Praying for those who do not and are job searching, concerned greatly about how they are going to get by.
-Knowing without a doubt, this is a face I simply can not resist.
-Drinking my very cold cup of java, from several hours later, when I finally drug my weary self out of bed.
-Pleased with myself for having O pay me $3.99, the price of some new/old pants from Goodwill, when he decorated the ones he was wearing yesterday with marker.
-Aware that after that 1 good-mothering moment of teaching a tangible lesson to my son, I will probably have about 25 less than ideal responses, which I will not be nearly as eager to share.
-Wondering if loading the crew up to go to big bad (dum dum duuuuum) Wal-M is a good idea this afternoon, but necessity dictates.
-Saddened by the news story I read this morning about a man who killed himself, his wife and 5 children after being laid off.
-Thankful that in these troubled economic times, my husband has stable employment.
-Praying for those who do not and are job searching, concerned greatly about how they are going to get by.
-Knowing without a doubt, this is a face I simply can not resist.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
She looked so pretty.
Standing at the sink doing dishes last night I glanced up to the bar and noticed Jayla there working on a puzzle. She instantly took my breath away. It was one of those out of the blue-ordinary moments where time all of a sudden seems to stand still and my heart is captured, literally aching in my chest with an emotion I can't properly describe...it happens when I look into the face of my child that I see a thousand different times on any given day, and see her somehow freshly, anew...and I think to myself, how on earth did I get this lucky? I've got it all. Everything that matters most in this life, I have. Thank You doesn't seem to be enough. It feels so insufficient. I'll say it anyway. Thank You, thank You, thank You. I want for nothing. I should open my hand to give.
Have I mentioned we are crazy?
At least this guy is:
She formally invited us to a ball to be held in our playroom last night. You can tell by her clothing, it was a dress-up affair.
Her dad participated whole heartedly with several costume changes.
I have no room to talk. I was wearing a fancy skirt over my yoga pants with some slippers. It was one hot little number for sure. Unfortunately, there were no pictures of it allowed.
Following their dad's lead, these boys go all out.
This one: Once Spiderman, always Spiderman.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Watching Oprah while folding laundry this afternoon, I saw overweight teens talking about life's issues that prompt them to eat. It is heart breaking and I heard over and over again, from child after child, about the pain of being ridiculed at school. Tears streaming down her face, one girl even mentioned teachers making fun of her. Most of the teens admitted to contemplating suicide.
I am not one that is against public school, private school or charter schools in general. I do believe every family has to do what is best for them in their own unique situation.
After selecting an alternate form of education for our kids, the number one question that was asked repeatedly was, "what about socialization?"
It is when I see something like this, and am reminded of the tormenting nature of far too many peer relationships in a school setting, that I have to ask, what about this particular brand of socialization is so spectacular? Isn't it a bit strange that people would concern themselves with whether or not our kids could possibly thrive without it?
Why would we esteem this as THE way to "socialize" our children?
For some kids, the price for this socialization is much greater than they should ever have to pay.
I wonder the ratio of relationships at school that truly build up the student, regardless of how they look, the way they dress, what their capabilities are, versus interactions that tear down the individual due to not measuring up to a completely superficial standard young people are prone to set?
The cruelty of some kids is shocking and disturbing.
Why is this type of setting the only way some adults believe children can develop social skills to conduct themselves in the presence of fellow human beings effectively, graciously, honestly, and compassionately?
Even with the implementation of character development programs, I still do not see schools as an ideal place to honor each person, especially if an individual is viewed as different. There is only so much teachers and counselors can control, and they are there primarily to educate.
As much as grown-ups applaud celebrating diversity, when placed in large group environments, kids do not naturally gravitate toward this. Not at all.
Obviously, young people are in school to receive an education, but certainly we can remember from our younger years, the predominant focus for most kids is not academic. It is social. And often it is deeply destructive for anyone who finds themselves outside the fold.
I do realize the importance of being part of the real world and learning to stand up for one's self. There are certainly a variety of ways to teach these skills and become involved with others.
At this time in our lives, as a parent, I relish playing an extremely active role in that process and being selective socially.
I have no idea what the future holds for our family or how long we will home school.
Our kids may very well find themselves in a public school atmosphere. We really are not anti-school under all circumstances. I guarantee you though, if they do attend school outside the home, our motivation for sending them will not be the excellent socialization provided.
I just can not understand why we would consider this essential for healthy emotional and social development.
Just my take on it.....no question some will disagree ;-)
I am not one that is against public school, private school or charter schools in general. I do believe every family has to do what is best for them in their own unique situation.
After selecting an alternate form of education for our kids, the number one question that was asked repeatedly was, "what about socialization?"
It is when I see something like this, and am reminded of the tormenting nature of far too many peer relationships in a school setting, that I have to ask, what about this particular brand of socialization is so spectacular? Isn't it a bit strange that people would concern themselves with whether or not our kids could possibly thrive without it?
Why would we esteem this as THE way to "socialize" our children?
For some kids, the price for this socialization is much greater than they should ever have to pay.
I wonder the ratio of relationships at school that truly build up the student, regardless of how they look, the way they dress, what their capabilities are, versus interactions that tear down the individual due to not measuring up to a completely superficial standard young people are prone to set?
The cruelty of some kids is shocking and disturbing.
Why is this type of setting the only way some adults believe children can develop social skills to conduct themselves in the presence of fellow human beings effectively, graciously, honestly, and compassionately?
Even with the implementation of character development programs, I still do not see schools as an ideal place to honor each person, especially if an individual is viewed as different. There is only so much teachers and counselors can control, and they are there primarily to educate.
As much as grown-ups applaud celebrating diversity, when placed in large group environments, kids do not naturally gravitate toward this. Not at all.
Obviously, young people are in school to receive an education, but certainly we can remember from our younger years, the predominant focus for most kids is not academic. It is social. And often it is deeply destructive for anyone who finds themselves outside the fold.
I do realize the importance of being part of the real world and learning to stand up for one's self. There are certainly a variety of ways to teach these skills and become involved with others.
At this time in our lives, as a parent, I relish playing an extremely active role in that process and being selective socially.
I have no idea what the future holds for our family or how long we will home school.
Our kids may very well find themselves in a public school atmosphere. We really are not anti-school under all circumstances. I guarantee you though, if they do attend school outside the home, our motivation for sending them will not be the excellent socialization provided.
I just can not understand why we would consider this essential for healthy emotional and social development.
Just my take on it.....no question some will disagree ;-)
Like Sister Like Brother
During quiet time on Saturday Onyx made paper airplanes for each person in the family. By paper airplanes, I mean pieces of paper folded in half diagonally. He wrote each person's name on theirs. Reminded me so much of something Jayla would do.
Colorful clouds surrounded his own name.
Had a fun couple of days enjoying our family. I would say it was a low-key around the house weekend, but that wouldn't distinguish it from any other weekend in our lives : )Friends came over last night for dinner with their 4 children. Made a turkey we bought before Thanksgiving.
Got all choked up at church Saturday night singing the lyrics to Strength will Rise.
I'm awfully emotional these days. It is sometimes said in adoption a woman becomes "pregnant with paperwork" I think I'm starting to understand what they mean.
Only 6 pages in and I'm crying over everything.
Will I be a good enough mom to do this? That question rings in my ears.
As much as we have prepared, I feel so flawed, so inadequate for this service. I am completely humbled by the prospect of becoming the American, cracker-white parents to some African children who have lost their own.
Kids who have been through so much should have a truly wonderful place to call home.
I desperately want to provide that, along with Bob and our young ones.
This has been our heart's desire for such a long time.
I hope I am as able as I am willing.
My own humanness seems more amplified to me now and I have to remind myself to relax and let God do His work.
Strength will Rise
May our lives serve as defenders of the weak and may our hands comfort those in need. As cracked and chipped as this vessel is, use it for Your Glory. That is my prayer today. Happy Monday to you.
Colorful clouds surrounded his own name.
Had a fun couple of days enjoying our family. I would say it was a low-key around the house weekend, but that wouldn't distinguish it from any other weekend in our lives : )Friends came over last night for dinner with their 4 children. Made a turkey we bought before Thanksgiving.
Got all choked up at church Saturday night singing the lyrics to Strength will Rise.
I'm awfully emotional these days. It is sometimes said in adoption a woman becomes "pregnant with paperwork" I think I'm starting to understand what they mean.
Only 6 pages in and I'm crying over everything.
Will I be a good enough mom to do this? That question rings in my ears.
As much as we have prepared, I feel so flawed, so inadequate for this service. I am completely humbled by the prospect of becoming the American, cracker-white parents to some African children who have lost their own.
Kids who have been through so much should have a truly wonderful place to call home.
I desperately want to provide that, along with Bob and our young ones.
This has been our heart's desire for such a long time.
I hope I am as able as I am willing.
My own humanness seems more amplified to me now and I have to remind myself to relax and let God do His work.
Strength will Rise
Our God You reign forever.
Our hope our strong deliverer.
You are the everlasting God.
You do not faint You don't grow weary.
You're the defender of the weak.
You comfort those in need.
You lift us up on wings like eagles.
May our lives serve as defenders of the weak and may our hands comfort those in need. As cracked and chipped as this vessel is, use it for Your Glory. That is my prayer today. Happy Monday to you.
Friday, January 23, 2009
H-h-here we go.
Interrupting this regularly scheduled blog post for an important announcement:
We are starting our paperwork with Bethany Christian Services for international adoption in the country of Ethiopia Africa! Yes, it's earlier than expected. This agency, which we love so much about and has been successfully performing both international and domestic adoptions for many, many years, is raising rates soon, so we are getting the ball rolling to get in before prices go up.
Praying for God's guidance every step of the way and for sufficient grace to carry us through this exciting journey. Let His will be done.
Will keep you informed!
We are starting our paperwork with Bethany Christian Services for international adoption in the country of Ethiopia Africa! Yes, it's earlier than expected. This agency, which we love so much about and has been successfully performing both international and domestic adoptions for many, many years, is raising rates soon, so we are getting the ball rolling to get in before prices go up.
Praying for God's guidance every step of the way and for sufficient grace to carry us through this exciting journey. Let His will be done.
Will keep you informed!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Baby Legwarmers
Cassie had pictures of her daughter wearing them on her blog. I thought they would be perfect for Clover in our cool, cold house. The cutest thing ever? I do believe so!
She likes them too.
She likes them too.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Jack 1, 2, & 3
Today, while standing with Jayla in her room, I was calling at the top of my lungs (((Ooooooonyyyyyyyyx))) I asked you to come here please. The kids who were present began snickering. Onyx was there. Right along side Jayla. I thought he was Tyden.
From now on, all the boys are Jack to me. It's just easier that way.
From now on, all the boys are Jack to me. It's just easier that way.
Mission: Failed
Pooey in the pants today. No candy for anyone.....except me.
Stryder has recently moved out of the Stage of Terror, where danger lurks around every corner and a standing invitation for mischief resides in each room of the house, where a turned back for a moment undoubtedly yields a price to pay.
Very small toy parts could finally be left lying on the floor. Family games could be played without the board becoming overturned or the pieces ingested. The bathroom door could remain open as the toilet lost its allure as a waterwonderlandplayplace. I could focus on school work with the big kids and trust him to play alone nicely, for a while, with actual toys.
This relief lasted but a moment.
As much as I hate to admit this about my babydoll, Clover has moved into the position her brother just vacated. This morning alone, I have cleaned her hands from playing in the toilet 4! times. I rescued the bath toys out of the porcelain pool and removed a ginormous wad of wet paper. Dishes are eternally pulled out of the cupboards, books yanked off the shelves, clothes removed from their dresser drawers and strewn all over the bedrooms. She has even started to throw herself down on the ground when her way is denied and kick her feet.......AHHHHH! Am I ready for this again? I think I had just begun to breathe deeply.
Between Clover's new found affinity for messes and trouble, the potty training of a reluctant 2 year old boy, the incessant whining of his 4 year old brother, and the home educating of the older 2, I think my sanity is in jeopardy!
They call it the Terrible Twos, but in my opinion, one year olds have them beat. (Quick, mischievous, dirty, chubby, cute, little) Hands down.
Come Back To Me Sweet Dolly!!
Stryder has recently moved out of the Stage of Terror, where danger lurks around every corner and a standing invitation for mischief resides in each room of the house, where a turned back for a moment undoubtedly yields a price to pay.
Very small toy parts could finally be left lying on the floor. Family games could be played without the board becoming overturned or the pieces ingested. The bathroom door could remain open as the toilet lost its allure as a waterwonderlandplayplace. I could focus on school work with the big kids and trust him to play alone nicely, for a while, with actual toys.
This relief lasted but a moment.
As much as I hate to admit this about my babydoll, Clover has moved into the position her brother just vacated. This morning alone, I have cleaned her hands from playing in the toilet 4! times. I rescued the bath toys out of the porcelain pool and removed a ginormous wad of wet paper. Dishes are eternally pulled out of the cupboards, books yanked off the shelves, clothes removed from their dresser drawers and strewn all over the bedrooms. She has even started to throw herself down on the ground when her way is denied and kick her feet.......AHHHHH! Am I ready for this again? I think I had just begun to breathe deeply.
Between Clover's new found affinity for messes and trouble, the potty training of a reluctant 2 year old boy, the incessant whining of his 4 year old brother, and the home educating of the older 2, I think my sanity is in jeopardy!
They call it the Terrible Twos, but in my opinion, one year olds have them beat. (Quick, mischievous, dirty, chubby, cute, little) Hands down.
Come Back To Me Sweet Dolly!!
Enlisting Reinforcements
Promise for the kids today: If you guys can get Stryder to poo in the toilet, you can each have a packet of M&Ms!
We'll see how they do....with the poo....
We'll see how they do....with the poo....
Monday, January 19, 2009
I asked him why.....
On Friday, we watched God Grew Tired of Us (would highly recommend it! It's only $1 at Blockbuster) about the Lost Boys fleeing Sudan.
Saturday and Sunday he and I busied ourselves with much research and conversation as we are now trying to determine which agency would be best suited to meet our needs and wants on the adoption front. We discussed illness and HIV, and I heard a compassion in his voice that runs deep for those kids suffering because of the stigmatization of a disease that is no longer necessarily life threatening, one they acquired through no fault of their own.
This morning, I listened to him talk our children through Martin Luther King Junior's "I have a dream" speech. He taught them about the extraordinary significance of equality for all, and how important this would become to our family specifically, as we hope to become One with people whose skin color looks nothing like our own.
Shortly after, I overheard him chatting with a woman on the phone from our health insurance company to find out if adopted children's preexisting medical conditions are covered. (They are!)
Last night, we sat together and watched the Adoption Agency's video clips from Ethiopian orphanages, and read their information.
He didn't want to skim or skip any part.
Today, my heart melts for my husband.
We have been married nearly 10 years and I have not ever admired, respected, or adored him more than I do right now. To see this person willing to go places almost every man I know would not for children that are not his, not on this continent, not even known to us yet, astonishes me. He is more, so much more than the guy I thought I married. Truthfully, I had no idea he would be this way. Finding ourselves where we do now, making preparations for 7 children of our own, would have never entered my mind.
I asked him why. What is it that drives his passion to do such a thing? What makes him say all the time, "it's just money," as if he has extra heaps and piles of it lying around, or could pluck it off a tree in our yard, about the expenses? Why has his resolve never wavered?
He isn't exactly known for his emotional, softer side. (If you know him well, you are laughing at this. So true, so true.)
He told me, "few....very few things ever touch me to the core of my being. This is one of them."
Enough said.
He is a flawed man. After almost 14 years together, I certainly can not deny that reality. But I can also say his strengths are becoming more apparent, moving to the forefront, shining more brilliantly to me every day now, and I am thankful beyond words that flawed individual is my partner through it all.
I know I can trust him to mean what he says. I have no doubt he will make an excellent father, yet again, to some kids who may never realize how much he wanted them, or how far he was willing to go for them.
Although they will probably be unaware of the way his man's man heart broke for them long before he ever saw their faces, I will know....and I have to count that one of my greatest gifts in this life.
Saturday and Sunday he and I busied ourselves with much research and conversation as we are now trying to determine which agency would be best suited to meet our needs and wants on the adoption front. We discussed illness and HIV, and I heard a compassion in his voice that runs deep for those kids suffering because of the stigmatization of a disease that is no longer necessarily life threatening, one they acquired through no fault of their own.
This morning, I listened to him talk our children through Martin Luther King Junior's "I have a dream" speech. He taught them about the extraordinary significance of equality for all, and how important this would become to our family specifically, as we hope to become One with people whose skin color looks nothing like our own.
Shortly after, I overheard him chatting with a woman on the phone from our health insurance company to find out if adopted children's preexisting medical conditions are covered. (They are!)
Last night, we sat together and watched the Adoption Agency's video clips from Ethiopian orphanages, and read their information.
He didn't want to skim or skip any part.
Today, my heart melts for my husband.
We have been married nearly 10 years and I have not ever admired, respected, or adored him more than I do right now. To see this person willing to go places almost every man I know would not for children that are not his, not on this continent, not even known to us yet, astonishes me. He is more, so much more than the guy I thought I married. Truthfully, I had no idea he would be this way. Finding ourselves where we do now, making preparations for 7 children of our own, would have never entered my mind.
I asked him why. What is it that drives his passion to do such a thing? What makes him say all the time, "it's just money," as if he has extra heaps and piles of it lying around, or could pluck it off a tree in our yard, about the expenses? Why has his resolve never wavered?
He isn't exactly known for his emotional, softer side. (If you know him well, you are laughing at this. So true, so true.)
He told me, "few....very few things ever touch me to the core of my being. This is one of them."
Enough said.
He is a flawed man. After almost 14 years together, I certainly can not deny that reality. But I can also say his strengths are becoming more apparent, moving to the forefront, shining more brilliantly to me every day now, and I am thankful beyond words that flawed individual is my partner through it all.
I know I can trust him to mean what he says. I have no doubt he will make an excellent father, yet again, to some kids who may never realize how much he wanted them, or how far he was willing to go for them.
Although they will probably be unaware of the way his man's man heart broke for them long before he ever saw their faces, I will know....and I have to count that one of my greatest gifts in this life.
Crazy Hair Night at AWANAS
Onyx won on the basis of sheer commitment alone. Yes, that's an A shaved right into his mowhawk! His parents let him go all out.
Off to read with the kids about Martin Luther King Junior. What a day, what a day.
Off to read with the kids about Martin Luther King Junior. What a day, what a day.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Self Portraits
Playing with new/old toys from Goodwill.
Spent all sorts of time sorrowful about the absence of tiny babies in our future and I happened to be overlooking one pretty significant point. I love love love big kids too! They are so fun. We can play games together. Real games, other than Candyland. We can watch movies together. Real movies. They sit (mostly) still and pay attention. We can hold conversations. Yes! Real ones. We can even discuss the movie we just saw. They are helpful and easy to be around and absorbent and hilarious and teachable and such great company. It's not nearly as much work to care for bigger kids. My role with our older 2 especially, has become more about overseeing and guiding and less about tending to physical needs. It's really enjoyable, and rewarding. They blow me away with the things they come up with to say and do. Parenting them is also bliss. I am a true fan of our older children as I watch them grow and mature.
They are all I hoped they would be and so much more. What a gift that is to the heart of this mother.
Thankful today for open eyes to bask in this, the joy of the present, before it passes too......Have a great weekened.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
What year is this, 1984?
For some very odd reason that I do not know, the public school where J&O attend their enrichment classes has a library which still stocks CASSETTE tapes that accompany some books, available for check out by the children.
Why? Why and why?
Of course, one of these books comes wrapped in a cute little bag, along with a tiny stuffed turtle replica of the character in the story. Now that's way more fun to bring home than a plain old book to actually read yourself. One of my kids thought so anyway and readily checked this ensemble out with great anticipation of the times we would enjoy together crowded around the turtle story listening to someone read it to us.
We do not even currently own a cassette player.
And, this is what happens to intriguing little foreign objects with small circular holes and stringy brown ribbon to pull and pull in our home:
Maybe they will see it as Stryder us doing them a favor by ridding them of such ancient material and not charge us for it. It's the least we could do : )
Why? Why and why?
Of course, one of these books comes wrapped in a cute little bag, along with a tiny stuffed turtle replica of the character in the story. Now that's way more fun to bring home than a plain old book to actually read yourself. One of my kids thought so anyway and readily checked this ensemble out with great anticipation of the times we would enjoy together crowded around the turtle story listening to someone read it to us.
We do not even currently own a cassette player.
And, this is what happens to intriguing little foreign objects with small circular holes and stringy brown ribbon to pull and pull in our home:
Maybe they will see it as 
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Happy People Pardon.
That is a quote from Beth Moore speaking at a Women of Faith Conference. I was reminded of it as I have been pondering exactly where it is I feel God guiding at this time of my life.
It is a gift to have your birthday fall right around New Years. How do I want to be at 34? I'm asking myself. I have the desire to grow up. That is such a long process, daunting and overwhelming if I look at all that needs to change.
Where shall I begin?
This I know for sure, I must work to become better at pardoning.
Pardon: A kind indulgence, as in forgiveness for an offense or in tolerance of an inconvenience. A legal release from the penalty of an offense. Forgiveness of a serious offence or offender.
Our pastor at church often says he believes a person can become almost completely unoffendable. He suggests mature people are easy to be around. They are able to absorb, disarm, overlook, bless, and accept.
I've been thinking about how these qualities are interwoven. Maturity, happiness, and pardoning.
Pardoning isn't always easy to do, sometimes it's downright painful and I sense the strong urge to dig in and drag my feet. Shouldn't I hold fast to my (self) righteous indignation? I tend to feel smug in my annoyance/anger/dissatisfaction with another from time to time. After all, it's not like there is no valid reason for me to become upset in the first place. Have you any idea what they have done to me? My goodness gracious. It's absolutely awful!
People may rub me the wrong way, utter cruel words or snide remarks, fail to meet my expectations, cast their judgement upon myself or my children, disagree with me, act inconsiderately, overlook the circumstances surrounding my decisions, refuse to acknowledge my point of view, gossip behind my back, view me according to how I look or what I have, lie to me, break promises, severely disappoint, willfully harm......the list goes on. Ample reason to become sufficiently offended, no?
Here's the thing that brings me to my knees in humble recognition.
So do I.
I participate in all that whole long list of offences myself. I communicate things I shouldn't. Say words better left unsaid. Toot my own horn. Think thoughts I want no one to know. Behave rudely. Break promises. Hurt others. Pass judgements. Act selfishly. Exalt myself. This list also goes on. Longer than I care to admit.
I have to apologize to someone nearly every single day of my life.
Yet, even with all my nasty, ugly, despicable ways, I have been pardoned.
Why would I want to punish another person or think I am worthy of making them pay any type of penalty? I am not.
It's is not my job. I have been given no authority to do so.
When I stop to really consider the pardon I have received, and hold that reality in the forefront of my mind, it becomes no longer a huge, insurmountable, extraordinarily difficult task anymore to offer that freely to another. It is when I forget, that I begin feeling justified in my hardness of heart toward that individual and Grudgeland becomes a mighty comfortable place to dwell, perched on my very own plush judgement seat, adorned in my crown of self-importance, with all my haughty neighbors looking on in approval.
If I can still recollect transgressions that occurred to me ages ago, or if I would dare have the audacity to carry them to the table for that poor "offender" to deal with, I am very, very immature.
When God has removed my transgressions from me, as far as from the east to the west, why would I ever hold someone else's up in their face? He has also removed theirs.
Shall I with one hand readily accept the goodness of God for myself and with the other hold the shortcomings or sinfulness of another over their head? I don't believe so. Yet, sometimes I do.
Let me grow in awareness and acceptance of God's grace, mercy, forgiveness, down to the depth of my soul, and may I grow up to offer it to others generously, so that I can become easy to live with, mature, gracious enough to readily pardon.
That is my prayer for my 34th year.
It is a gift to have your birthday fall right around New Years. How do I want to be at 34? I'm asking myself. I have the desire to grow up. That is such a long process, daunting and overwhelming if I look at all that needs to change.
Where shall I begin?
This I know for sure, I must work to become better at pardoning.
Pardon: A kind indulgence, as in forgiveness for an offense or in tolerance of an inconvenience. A legal release from the penalty of an offense. Forgiveness of a serious offence or offender.
Our pastor at church often says he believes a person can become almost completely unoffendable. He suggests mature people are easy to be around. They are able to absorb, disarm, overlook, bless, and accept.
I've been thinking about how these qualities are interwoven. Maturity, happiness, and pardoning.
Pardoning isn't always easy to do, sometimes it's downright painful and I sense the strong urge to dig in and drag my feet. Shouldn't I hold fast to my (self) righteous indignation? I tend to feel smug in my annoyance/anger/dissatisfaction with another from time to time. After all, it's not like there is no valid reason for me to become upset in the first place. Have you any idea what they have done to me? My goodness gracious. It's absolutely awful!
People may rub me the wrong way, utter cruel words or snide remarks, fail to meet my expectations, cast their judgement upon myself or my children, disagree with me, act inconsiderately, overlook the circumstances surrounding my decisions, refuse to acknowledge my point of view, gossip behind my back, view me according to how I look or what I have, lie to me, break promises, severely disappoint, willfully harm......the list goes on. Ample reason to become sufficiently offended, no?
Here's the thing that brings me to my knees in humble recognition.
So do I.
I participate in all that whole long list of offences myself. I communicate things I shouldn't. Say words better left unsaid. Toot my own horn. Think thoughts I want no one to know. Behave rudely. Break promises. Hurt others. Pass judgements. Act selfishly. Exalt myself. This list also goes on. Longer than I care to admit.
I have to apologize to someone nearly every single day of my life.
Yet, even with all my nasty, ugly, despicable ways, I have been pardoned.
Why would I want to punish another person or think I am worthy of making them pay any type of penalty? I am not.
It's is not my job. I have been given no authority to do so.
When I stop to really consider the pardon I have received, and hold that reality in the forefront of my mind, it becomes no longer a huge, insurmountable, extraordinarily difficult task anymore to offer that freely to another. It is when I forget, that I begin feeling justified in my hardness of heart toward that individual and Grudgeland becomes a mighty comfortable place to dwell, perched on my very own plush judgement seat, adorned in my crown of self-importance, with all my haughty neighbors looking on in approval.
If I can still recollect transgressions that occurred to me ages ago, or if I would dare have the audacity to carry them to the table for that poor "offender" to deal with, I am very, very immature.
When God has removed my transgressions from me, as far as from the east to the west, why would I ever hold someone else's up in their face? He has also removed theirs.
Shall I with one hand readily accept the goodness of God for myself and with the other hold the shortcomings or sinfulness of another over their head? I don't believe so. Yet, sometimes I do.
Let me grow in awareness and acceptance of God's grace, mercy, forgiveness, down to the depth of my soul, and may I grow up to offer it to others generously, so that I can become easy to live with, mature, gracious enough to readily pardon.
That is my prayer for my 34th year.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Some guys have all the luck.
Came home last night after taking J&O to AWANAS and found this:
While they were there, I stopped by big grandma's to give her some birthday cards. She, myself, and big grandpa had the best time chatting around the kitchen table. I planned to stay for only a minute, then run an errand, and ended up not leaving until the moment I needed to go back to pick up the kids. Uninterrupted conversation doesn't happen in my world ever ever ever often. I didn't get up once to perform referee duty or clean a child's bootie. It was great. I love them both. Happy Birthday PJF! Sweet 83.
For a snack during AWANAS, the kids were given oreos. They each received one, and J brought hers home for T&S to split. That girl. She's a nice one. When she's not ruling the roost telling those boys exactly what to do and how, when, and where to do it, she's giving up her sugary treats for them.
All that thoughtful energy she exerted tuckered her right out. Didn't even bother laying her head down on the pillow before falling asleep.
Clover was decked out this morning in wedding attire for a Build a Bear, complete with little bear slippers. Clearly, I'm not the only one who thinks she's a dolly.
It's a Monday! Runza in the works for supper tonight. In Deutschland, it is a requirement to love sauerkraut ;-)
While they were there, I stopped by big grandma's to give her some birthday cards. She, myself, and big grandpa had the best time chatting around the kitchen table. I planned to stay for only a minute, then run an errand, and ended up not leaving until the moment I needed to go back to pick up the kids. Uninterrupted conversation doesn't happen in my world For a snack during AWANAS, the kids were given oreos. They each received one, and J brought hers home for T&S to split. That girl. She's a nice one. When she's not ruling the roost telling those boys exactly what to do and how, when, and where to do it, she's giving up her sugary treats for them.
All that thoughtful energy she exerted tuckered her right out. Didn't even bother laying her head down on the pillow before falling asleep.
Clover was decked out this morning in wedding attire for a Build a Bear, complete with little bear slippers. Clearly, I'm not the only one who thinks she's a dolly.
It's a Monday! Runza in the works for supper tonight. In Deutschland, it is a requirement to love sauerkraut ;-)
Friday, January 09, 2009
Good crackers are hard to find.
They're actually not. They can be found without the long list of non-food ingredients, if you want to turn over an arm and a leg for them! I think they charge a high premium for the air in those bags. If your family is like mine, an entire box can be put away in one sitting with no problem. So, we mostly eat bread instead : ) The sweet, nutty, fruity kind are perfect for breakfast or an afternoon snack. With flaxseed and walnuts, whole wheat flour or spelt, or even unbleached all purpose flour, it is a more nutritious, and very delicious alternative. Plus, have I mentioned the aroma that will fill your home? Only about 5,000 times, I know.
Rich Sweet Bread
2 Eggs, room temperature, plus enough water 80 degrees to equal 1 1/4 cups
Oil 3 TBL
Sugar 3 TBL
Salt 2 tsp
Flour 4 cups
Raisins 2/3 cup
Can also add 1/2 cup dried cherries or cranberries
and 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
Yeast 2 tsp
Program: Sweet
This one is soooooo good!
Declaring weekends a Blog Free Zone in our home for 2009. That applies to my blog writing only, not my reading and commenting on yours! Between the material the kids provide and my own thoughts swimming around in my head, I could blog my days away. Have to set some boundaries, you know? Some people set resolutions to blog more, mine are to blog less.
Will leave you with a personal confession:
Now that I finally joined facebook so I can keep up with a couple of my non-blogging friends and see their pictures, I started thinking, wow....I really need to start searching for people and building up my friends list so I can get my numbers up.
Forget that I am not overly interested in spending much time there as blogging is much more my speed and I already spend PLENTY of my valuable time on the computer. I really don't need another thing to keep up with. I already feel consistently pulled in several directions at once most of my day with the myriad of worthy tasks competing for my attention. LAME OR WHAT? So, I'm not going to do that. If people come to me great. Or, if I see someone I am genuinely interested in keeping in touch with, also great. But, I won't waste my hours building up my friend bank so I can APPEAR to be something I'm not. For my true friends who are facebook people, I will try to write on your walls and comment on your pictures, because I figure you must enjoy that the way bloggers enjoy receiving feedback. It's the friendly thing to do!
Hello, my name is Tisha and I have to watch myself closely to avoid trying to appear anything other than who I am. Working hard to be as UNpretentious as possible, while looking beyond the surface to allow others the same opportunity in my presence. Let me tell you what, it is not always easy!
Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Rich Sweet Bread
2 Eggs, room temperature, plus enough water 80 degrees to equal 1 1/4 cups
Oil 3 TBL
Sugar 3 TBL
Salt 2 tsp
Flour 4 cups
Raisins 2/3 cup
Can also add 1/2 cup dried cherries or cranberries
and 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
Yeast 2 tsp
Program: Sweet
This one is soooooo good!
Declaring weekends a Blog Free Zone in our home for 2009. That applies to my blog writing only, not my reading and commenting on yours! Between the material the kids provide and my own thoughts swimming around in my head, I could blog my days away. Have to set some boundaries, you know? Some people set resolutions to blog more, mine are to blog less.
Will leave you with a personal confession:
Now that I finally joined facebook so I can keep up with a couple of my non-blogging friends and see their pictures, I started thinking, wow....I really need to start searching for people and building up my friends list so I can get my numbers up.
Forget that I am not overly interested in spending much time there as blogging is much more my speed and I already spend PLENTY of my valuable time on the computer. I really don't need another thing to keep up with. I already feel consistently pulled in several directions at once most of my day with the myriad of worthy tasks competing for my attention. LAME OR WHAT? So, I'm not going to do that. If people come to me great. Or, if I see someone I am genuinely interested in keeping in touch with, also great. But, I won't waste my hours building up my friend bank so I can APPEAR to be something I'm not. For my true friends who are facebook people, I will try to write on your walls and comment on your pictures, because I figure you must enjoy that the way bloggers enjoy receiving feedback. It's the friendly thing to do!
Hello, my name is Tisha and I have to watch myself closely to avoid trying to appear anything other than who I am. Working hard to be as UNpretentious as possible, while looking beyond the surface to allow others the same opportunity in my presence. Let me tell you what, it is not always easy!
Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Very, very early in my first pregnancy, I had an ultra sound. There was some bleeding and my Dr. wanted to see how things looked and possibly determine if I might miscarry.
What was displayed on the monitor was such a sight!
There appeared to be a little tiny peanut. No arms, no legs, just a body. Only this peanut had a beating heart. The OB printed out the black and white photo of the small white blur and handed it to me. "Here is your first baby picture" he said.
The following April, at 19 weeks along after just discovering one week prior through a regularly scheduled ultrasound that peanut-image was a girl(!), I became very ill. I thought I had a stomach bug or the flu. As the day worn on, it became clear there was something else happening. I called my Dr. and he suggested I head to the ER, just in case. I did and was diagnosed with appendicitis. By 6:00 that evening I was in surgery, and later told it was a good thing for myself and my baby that I got there in the nick of time as my appendix had begun to rupture. The appendectomy was successful, although afterward I started having contractions much too early. A prescription for medication to stop them was given and I was advised to extremely restrict activity.
That was Easter Sunday, 2001.
I distinctly recall the time shortly after when a well-intentioned friend said to me, "if you end up losing this baby, at least you know you are fertile and can get pregnant again."
She didn't have kids ;-) I could understand her point, however I wanted nothing more than THIS baby. The thought of losing THIS baby was tragic to me. Bed rest was not the least bit relaxing as I was consumed with thoughts of keeping my little one alive. I had no idea what the outcome of this pregnancy would be, and so many things seemed to be going wrong! (I would totally have the capacity to enjoy some bed rest these days. At least for a while! Motherhood has given me that ability for sure.)
On exactly the first day of the 36th week of gestation, my water broke very early in the morning and I was in labor. After a completely natural, wonderful, exhausting, challenging, sickening (I was very nauseous) labor, our first daughter Jayla Kim was born at 6:02 pm weighing 5lbs 8oz. My world has never, not for one single day, been the same since. I'm sure any mother can relate to the feeling of life as you know it changing in an instant, never to return to 'normal' again.
When I think about what we call "abortion" I remember that picture of my peanut. That teeny blurb on the screen turned into my sweet, precious, treasured, adored, valued Jayla.
People on either side of this issue frequently debate when exactly life begins. Is it at conception, or is it at birth? It is difficult for me personally to comprehend how an individual, especially one who has had the privilege of becoming a parent, could look at a picture on the screen as a technician performs an ultrasound on a pregnant woman, and say that a life has not begun, however young or new.
At conception a sacred lifeform is made. It may not yet be viable outside the womb, but it clearly starts to draw nutrients from the mother, growing in strength and size, developing at an awe inspiring speed. Does the fact that we can not readily see what is going on inside dismiss the fact that life-giving processes are occuring? Is a woman who does not yet appear pregnant any less so than one who is further along? Is there a sort-of pregnant?
When a woman or a young girl makes the decision to terminate a pregnancy, the reality that her child can not sustain life independently yet does not make that baby an inanimate object! Proper respect and appreciation for this portion of the breathtaking process of development, offering necessary prepratory time to the parents-to-be is in order.
Of course, there are issues of poverty, poor parenting, child abuse, environmental conservation and preservation. Those are all legitimate concerns that must be taken into account. I do not see how any of those things make taking away a human being's right to thrive, or even draw their first breath acceptable. Truthfully, many people who trumpet such claims to legitimize abortion are not actually doing anything themselves to end suffering. Those can certainly be used as convenient excuses to avoid the inconvenience of parenting a child or providing someone else the opportunity.
There are the rights of women, and I fully support those. I simply do not believe going to a hospital or clinic to rid herself of an unwanted pregnancy should be one of them. Most of the time when our actions infringe upon another person's liberties, or cause them harm, we don't call them rights. We usually label them crimes.
So, if I seem "far right," extreme, politically incorrect, or like I am discussing things that are better left unsaid, it is because I feel passionately about this topic and that has nothing to do with politics.
I am deeply troubled by the legalization of abortion and I believe the effects are commonly haunting and scaring for the mothers of those unborn babies. I firmly believe we should protect women and children and stop making such a devastating option available.
I haven't written this to be argumentative or to start any kind of war of words or even a discussion. I fully respect anyone's right to disagree and I'm absolutely aware many do. It was on my mind as I read an article recently on the subject and as I have said, this blog book is for my children. Who knows, they may even decide to take another position, and that will be their choice to make. No matter what, I will do my best to instill in them a respect for the sanctity and exquisite beauty of every human life, no matter the developmental stage.
What was displayed on the monitor was such a sight!
There appeared to be a little tiny peanut. No arms, no legs, just a body. Only this peanut had a beating heart. The OB printed out the black and white photo of the small white blur and handed it to me. "Here is your first baby picture" he said.
The following April, at 19 weeks along after just discovering one week prior through a regularly scheduled ultrasound that peanut-image was a girl(!), I became very ill. I thought I had a stomach bug or the flu. As the day worn on, it became clear there was something else happening. I called my Dr. and he suggested I head to the ER, just in case. I did and was diagnosed with appendicitis. By 6:00 that evening I was in surgery, and later told it was a good thing for myself and my baby that I got there in the nick of time as my appendix had begun to rupture. The appendectomy was successful, although afterward I started having contractions much too early. A prescription for medication to stop them was given and I was advised to extremely restrict activity.
That was Easter Sunday, 2001.
I distinctly recall the time shortly after when a well-intentioned friend said to me, "if you end up losing this baby, at least you know you are fertile and can get pregnant again."
She didn't have kids ;-) I could understand her point, however I wanted nothing more than THIS baby. The thought of losing THIS baby was tragic to me. Bed rest was not the least bit relaxing as I was consumed with thoughts of keeping my little one alive. I had no idea what the outcome of this pregnancy would be, and so many things seemed to be going wrong! (I would totally have the capacity to enjoy some bed rest these days. At least for a while! Motherhood has given me that ability for sure.)
On exactly the first day of the 36th week of gestation, my water broke very early in the morning and I was in labor. After a completely natural, wonderful, exhausting, challenging, sickening (I was very nauseous) labor, our first daughter Jayla Kim was born at 6:02 pm weighing 5lbs 8oz. My world has never, not for one single day, been the same since. I'm sure any mother can relate to the feeling of life as you know it changing in an instant, never to return to 'normal' again.
When I think about what we call "abortion" I remember that picture of my peanut. That teeny blurb on the screen turned into my sweet, precious, treasured, adored, valued Jayla.
People on either side of this issue frequently debate when exactly life begins. Is it at conception, or is it at birth? It is difficult for me personally to comprehend how an individual, especially one who has had the privilege of becoming a parent, could look at a picture on the screen as a technician performs an ultrasound on a pregnant woman, and say that a life has not begun, however young or new.
At conception a sacred lifeform is made. It may not yet be viable outside the womb, but it clearly starts to draw nutrients from the mother, growing in strength and size, developing at an awe inspiring speed. Does the fact that we can not readily see what is going on inside dismiss the fact that life-giving processes are occuring? Is a woman who does not yet appear pregnant any less so than one who is further along? Is there a sort-of pregnant?
When a woman or a young girl makes the decision to terminate a pregnancy, the reality that her child can not sustain life independently yet does not make that baby an inanimate object! Proper respect and appreciation for this portion of the breathtaking process of development, offering necessary prepratory time to the parents-to-be is in order.
Of course, there are issues of poverty, poor parenting, child abuse, environmental conservation and preservation. Those are all legitimate concerns that must be taken into account. I do not see how any of those things make taking away a human being's right to thrive, or even draw their first breath acceptable. Truthfully, many people who trumpet such claims to legitimize abortion are not actually doing anything themselves to end suffering. Those can certainly be used as convenient excuses to avoid the inconvenience of parenting a child or providing someone else the opportunity.
There are the rights of women, and I fully support those. I simply do not believe going to a hospital or clinic to rid herself of an unwanted pregnancy should be one of them. Most of the time when our actions infringe upon another person's liberties, or cause them harm, we don't call them rights. We usually label them crimes.
So, if I seem "far right," extreme, politically incorrect, or like I am discussing things that are better left unsaid, it is because I feel passionately about this topic and that has nothing to do with politics.
I am deeply troubled by the legalization of abortion and I believe the effects are commonly haunting and scaring for the mothers of those unborn babies. I firmly believe we should protect women and children and stop making such a devastating option available.
I haven't written this to be argumentative or to start any kind of war of words or even a discussion. I fully respect anyone's right to disagree and I'm absolutely aware many do. It was on my mind as I read an article recently on the subject and as I have said, this blog book is for my children. Who knows, they may even decide to take another position, and that will be their choice to make. No matter what, I will do my best to instill in them a respect for the sanctity and exquisite beauty of every human life, no matter the developmental stage.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Her best friend was making a video montage (along with a very special scrapbook) and wanted some pictures of Katy and I together. I had none. Not one. I rarely (never) take pictures of myself, and I am usually (always) the photographer (unless sneaky Bob swipes the camera), so I have very few of myself and exactly zero of myself with friends. I'm putting this picture from her going away party here, because it was really a memorable occasion, worth documenting, for so many reasons.......
Had to break my daughter's heart today.
I told her she could no longer hang out in the ditch all afternoon waiting for her buddy the trash truck driver man to come by our house. I know, I know. Mean. Her 7 year old face scrunched up and tears started leaking from her eyes. I felt so bad. Her reaction was worse than when we told her our 2 outdoor-pet cats that ran away were likely eaten by coyotes. And no, it was not because she freely offered up to Mr. Trash Truck Driver this tantalizing little tidbit last week "my mom homeschools because she has 5 kids, wants to adopt 2 more, and can't get us all to school." That wasn't it at all. Nope. Didn't bother me WHATSOEVER. Never mind those hours (and hours and hours) of reading/researching/praying/contemplating what we felt would be best for our children, and finally drawing the conclusion that we believe educating them at home is the right thing for us to do. Just never mind all that.
I don't want them playing by the road for the same reason I don't care to have them swinging on the ceiling fans. I do like those little buggers, an awful lot. I much prefer their freedom from injury and for some strange reason, playing in the road just doesn't strike me as the safest place to be. I mean, if I can't get them all to school, how could we possibly make it to an EMERGENCY ROOM?
When there is all this to do outside:
Why spend time here? (Yes! That is only half full. Even with 7 of us! Recycle Recycle Recycle)
Once she finally composed herself after tearfully mourning the end of her ditch lingering days, I let her play teacher-mom-who-can't-get-her-supersized-brood-to-school with the white board. That cheered her right up.
Poor girl. She really liked that guy. She even made him a Christmas card and taped it to the trash can. Sweet Jayla.
I don't want them playing by the road for the same reason I don't care to have them swinging on the ceiling fans. I do like those little buggers, an awful lot. I much prefer their freedom from injury and for some strange reason, playing in the road just doesn't strike me as the safest place to be. I mean, if I can't get them all to school, how could we possibly make it to an EMERGENCY ROOM?
When there is all this to do outside:
Why spend time here? (Yes! That is only half full. Even with 7 of us! Recycle Recycle Recycle)
Once she finally composed herself after tearfully mourning the end of her ditch lingering days, I let her play teacher-mom-who-can't-get-her-supersized-brood-to-school with the white board. That cheered her right up.
Poor girl. She really liked that guy. She even made him a Christmas card and taped it to the trash can. Sweet Jayla.
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