Paint Mines

Good news: Our roof is totalled and insurance will replace it (minus the deductible). We plan to get a steel roof next. What will we do for entertainment during wind storms if not gazing outside at the shingles flying about?! 1 single, 2 shingles, 3 shingles, a whole strip of singles....
♫Bye, bye, roof. Bye bye shelter. Hello rain inside. I see my shingles fly. Bye bye my shingles goodbye♫


Steel roof, I think I'm going to ♥ you!

Bad news: The Man's birthday celebration went to pot. After his favorite dinner (tacos) and dessert (german chocolate cheesecake) and hand made gift opening (see below) he spent the rest of the evening pulling a half eaten apple from the commode. The snake pluming tool thing wouldn't do the trick so the whole bowl had to be removed then placed again and sealed.


Good news: The Man didn't seem to mind latrine maintenance as a way to celebrate 36 years on this earth! Just another day in paradise ☺


Guess who plunged the fruit? It was a very, very cute boy who is passionate about the pursuit of Power Ranger dreams for his bright, heroic, exciting future playing an instrumental role in ridding the world of evil while dressed in colorful costume....complete with cool sound effects. With a name like Stryder he is assuredly destined for superhero greatness.

36 never looked so good

This world would be a better place if there were more men like you in it.

Your children are crazy about you.

Your wife admires you.

We all love you.

We are counting our big blessing today.

Happy birthday to The Man.

You would not believe it if I told you

Shall I tell you?

My mom kept all the kids (overnight!) last night until this afternoon. Yes, all the kids. Until this afternoon. An overnight stay. That would be 7 of them. Yes, she did. What kind of award does this woman deserve?

I had the day of my dreams. It only became the stuff dreams are made of after the joy of receiving several small people into my life. Before that it would have been the stuff regular-old-drag-of-a-day-nothing-too-exciting-and-lots-of-hard-work-kind-of-not-really-great-at-all-night frights are made of.

I cleaned and sorted and organized and de-cluttered and scrubbed and rearranged. All alone. Oh my, my, my goodness gracious. Heaven on a stick.

I don't know when the last time I was all alone in my house was. Ages ago I suppose.

Then I got a speeding ticket racing in to get the youngsters.
That was not good.

Then those young ones came into the perfectly primped house and started behaving the way children (who have pretty much zero respect or appreciation for their mother's hard labor throughout this glorious day and started immediately messing it up) do.
That was not good.

Then, they began showing their inevitable grandma hangover. (Not quite enough sleep, a few more treats than usual, change of authority figure, having to once again recall the ((forgotten)) rules that apply here, in this home, where the majority of them have spent 99.9% of their waking and sleeping hours on this awesome earth.)
So, yeah. That was not good.

But daddy-o and I had a date last night that was incredibly fun. Because even after all these years, we really do like eachother. (Pei Wei and Big Lots bargain shopping followed by American Idol. Yes, we do it up right. You know it! Those Deutsches are wicked cool.)

And my day. Oh my day. Now, that was good.
Thank you grandma JJ.

Priorities in Parenting

I've had some conversations with a friend recently that have caused me to really stop and consider the reason I parent the way I do. I've done a lot of reflection about how I was raised, what I respond to (and what I don't) and the vision Bobby and I hold for our children and family. (I'm definitely not making a claim that there is only one "right" way to parent! These are just things that I have been contemplating.)

Here is one of the main verses that continually comes to mind as I think about this topic.
Mark 7:6b
"These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."

I would absolutely agree that our style is not based solely on obedience - it is because our goal is to reach the hearts of the children, to foster relationships that encourage and inspire them to good works, rather than focusing on the works themselves.
We probably say yes to things when others may believe we should say no.

While listening a Keller sermon a few days ago about repentance that someone else (Jody) suggested, (I would link to it myself, but I can't find it anymore - sorry) he made a valuable point that our response to God, our personal repentance, can and will be different based on our view of God. If He is a purely a powerful Creator able to execute His judgement and wrath upon us, our response to Him may be rooted in fear of consequence. If we see Him as our loving, gracious, merciful Father, our response to grieving a God who has been good and tender toward us, chastising us with love, will be different. Our godly sorrow can be because we have grieved the heart of our Father, not because we are scared about being viewed as "bad" and worthy of punishment.

Bobby and I see parenting much the same way. We are not in this to raise little german shepards who simply heed the call of our voice. There is a certain level of that, sure. Especially in the younger years. But as the kids age and mature, one of our ultimate and primary purposes is helping them to develop their own consciences. Their own personal responses to their parents, and to God. So they may hear His voice of conviction, not just the voice of their dad and mom. So they may make their own decisions to esteem Him Lord over all, through all, in all. We are here to nurture and usher in that kind of relationship with Him, and in turn we believe our relationships with them will flourish.

Phariseeism is attractive from all basic appearances. It makes us as parents look very competent and nice to have perfectly obedient children doing all the right things and taking appropriate and acceptable actions. People may applaud that and praise us for our obvious good work. Surely we must have our act together!

God is the searcher of hearts and He will know the difference between the core of a being who yearns for Him and one who is concerned with keeping up appearances. Who are we aiming to please?

Our prayer for our little ones is that God would draw them near to Him, in the depth of their being. Down where no one else sees. When they are alone with their Maker. Where true character resides. So that outward appearances mean very little to them. So they may be liberated to worship freely. Free from obligation. That they may have a heart of love and a motivation for genuine relationship that produces good, sweet, tangible, lovely, fruit.

Where repentance and a desire to be right with God is a way of life, not because they are bad, but because He is so very good.

*

This morning at 5:00 Onyx and Tyden came into my room and said there was poo all over the bathroom. Turned out it wasn't only spread around the bathroom but also on the bed, sheets, and clothing of the culprit. By the time it was discovered it was dried on and very challenging to clean off the bathroom, bedroom and the child.

Why on earth didn't he come get me when it happened? I could have easily changed a pull up. But this? Again? This is horrible.

Bobby had worked late again yesterday evening returning home at 10:00 pm. After a long weekend of working, a long Monday was not part of my plan.
Clover had a crying spell around midnight. I ended up bringing her to bed with us, to take her back to hers a half hour later due to kicking.
I've had such trouble sleeping myself.

Do I even need to say I didn't handle Poogate well? Because, gosh. I really didn't. I'm pretty sure I was making strange guttural sounds and sobbing as I was scrubbing with bleach, coughing, gagged by the smell. Feeling generally overwhelmed about an assortment of issues, this was not good timing.

But that's not the story that is worth telling.

This morning, the kids and I talked about the situation. I was guilt stricken for not responding better. We discussed it a bit.

Then to my surprise, they continued on with the morning, cracking jokes at the breakfast table, laughing out loud at each other, forgiving easily, loving purely, having a grand time, as usual. I don't know what I expected. Them to berate me the way I was berating myself? Me needing to earn their forgiveness the way I sometimes make others earn mine?

I am so humbled by their love for me. In spite of my many downfalls and difficulties.

They aren't holding a grudge, at all. Not against me, not against the boy. They just make it so simple. Moving on. They do it well. Beautifully. They don't get bogged down and stuck in a negative rut. They don't ruminate. They exemplify grace, unmerited favor. A lesson I believe we as adults can learn from the example of our young ones.

Isaiah 11:6 ....and a little child will lead them.

Thank you to my babies. You teach me every day. God bless you. I love you.

She asked me to cut her hair this afternoon

So I did. And I think she is breathtaking.

I love his smile. It's absolutely infectious.

He has some of the most magnificent eyes I have ever seen.

And I may even get to planting this soon.

78 miles per hour is what they clocked the wind today.

The calm after the storm was gorgeous.

In like a lion

May in Colorado is not good this year. Snowed several times in the beginning of the month. Today (again), ferocious, severe, damaging winds pelting everything. It's roaring, banging. Loudly. Even inside. Literally ruining the roof, tearing it off. Saturday was the same. It's really discombobulating (that's a good word, right? You like it?). Can't even get the garden planted. Stuck indoors. Might as well be blizzarding. Bobby was on call and worked most of the weekend. I've developed a fabulous case of insomnia. Lie awake in bed for several hours before falling into a restless sleep. Meadow is ill with what I think is an ear infection.
Renaming myself Mrs. Cranky Pants. I believe it's quite fitting. You can call me Crank for short. Or Mrs. Pants if you're youthful and polite.
Oh to be young and able to snooze peacefully.

Birthday Extravaganza

Beginning in 2011 we will have one big birthday party for all Deutsch kids during the summer at our house - we'll bbq, maybe do a bounce house jumpy thingy and make it a fun day. Don't know yet about themes. That would be a stretch for me! Stretching is good so maybe we'll even dress in costume. ☻ Whole families will be invited and can bring gifts for whichever child(ren) they would like. During the course of the year when the kids have their actual birthdays, they will get to select what we have for dinner, have a cake and a gift from dad and mom. Deutschlets love to set up "parties" for the clan so I'm certain we'll have plenty of fun celebrating their births through the months.
We will continue status quo for 2010 because we've already begun this year allowing them to choose a place for us to go on their day and we've been told it's not fair to stop mid-year. To which I usually reply, Fairs are where blue ribbon pies and baa baa sheep and ferris wheels live. What does that have to do with you?
But this time I have to agree with the fairness notion - let's start the new tradition with a fresh calendar.

Boys

If snarkiness is wrong...

I don't want to be right. ☺ Oh, that's not true. I really do want to be right. Right with God, right toward people. When I read or see or hear others' admonishments to avoid sarcasm or satire, it always gives me great pause. They say that funny isn't funny if it's not nice and people won't believe you when you actually speak seriously if you're too often found speaking less than seriously. Our speech should be edifying, seasoned with salt, uplifting to the hearers, full of grace. Yes, indeed, it should. So, I mull it over, back and forth in my mind and decide that I will no longer make jokes. Then, I spiral into deep depression, feeling the searing loss of life without my dear friend, Sense of Humor (who by nature leans to the sarcastic side.) She helps me get through the days (because let's face it, mama needs a little help. Amen Tisha. True dat girl. High five. Preachin to the choir sister.) And I recall that some of the most spiritually minded people I come in contact with are hilarious! And they are not intimidating with a holier than thou attitude that turns people way way OFF. And I LOVE that. I don't know. It's all so confusing. ...
Input? I always appreciate your point of view.

**Subject change**
Some people say they want the simple life. Let me tell you what - people - I've got it! I don't actually know if I should acknowledge such things because I'm quite certain a busy calendar is a tell tale sign of the measure of the very worth of an individual (along with their number of FB friends). Oh, what the heck, go ahead and consider me unworthy. I'm going to out my family's simplicity.
Bobby is doing a project this summer of attaching our house to our garage, therefore making a huge mudroom. (Can I get a glory hallelujah? A place for all the coats, shoes, hats, gloves, snow pants, etc. where they may in fact NOT be scattered all over the floor tripping me up! The prospect has me giddy. It's almost too much happy to bear. But I'll take it. Happy, happy, happy with a side of happy.) So, we pulled out our trusty calendar to see when he might be able to take a couple weeks off work to schedule this (((blessed event)))) over the summer. Guess what? Summer's clear. Just about any 2 week period would work. Now, that is the simple life my friends. Unworthy or not, I adore it. I will roast marshmallows and grow vegetables in the garden and play in the sprinkler and watch movies and grill supper and play games and jump on the trampoline and go hiking and kick the soccer ball and throw the frisbee and picnic in the park with my little ones.
And I truly believe they will be filled with joy and missing out on nothing.
Simply sublime ♥

Guess what we did today?

Gym Class

For country kids

So I ran the (most awesome idea ever) for fasting food for a month by the family.

They weren't exactly hip to it (imagine that!)

Seems they've developed a taste for my (always deliciously delectable)

cooking over the years. ☺

Which is too bad.

Because I was major thrilled about 4 consecutive blissful weeks sans kitchen clean up.

We decided instead to do 4 $100 weeks at the grocery store for all household necessities.

Which is a $400-$500 savings for the month for our family.

We ventured out yesterday with our Ben Franklin goal in mind, but no calculator.

(I was alone with the brood.

Who could handle that and a calculator!?

Hello? No one I think. If you could, give yourself a great big pat on the back!)

I was trying to add it up in my head (between *gentle* ((reminders)) to stay with me, stop touching, don't lick the cart, get your finger out of your nose....and hand out of your pants [boys and their fascination with what resides inside their underwear!])

We bought the usuals: 5 dozen eggs, 5 gallons of milk, 5 boxes of cereal, 5 lbs. of pasta, 5 pkgs tortillas.....etc.

Guess what the grand total was?

$99.98

Oh happy day.

Can you even believe it?

This has to be one of the single most significant accomplishments in my entire 35 years.

It's just so highly unlikely

I was talking to an old friend from high school recently who now lives in Arizona.

Him: Do you really believe that the Bible could possibly be literal? I mean, come on, creation in 6 days? The flood wiping out all the people on earth? That guy in the whale. Adam and Eve, a perfect garden, a snake.....it's all so far fetched.

Me: Yeah, I see your point. It is pretty crazy. All life forms as we currently know them (including plants, trees, and grasses, food from the ground, plus all salt and fresh water life), the immense and massive variety of species and the symbiotic relationships essential for survival, erupting out of primordial soup, then evolving over billions of years while the earth precariously maintains its exact relationship to the sun, moon, and other planets in the solar system so that it is solely and uniquely able to sustain this many types of living organisms with human beings in all of our physical, mental, and emotional complexity eventually becoming the most "developed" is super highly statistically probable.

So much more believable. I could totally buy that. Hey, got any ocean front property for sale in your state?

Rain Dance

My neck hurts

Because sometimes the day, especially the school day (like this school day for instance), can require constant corrections for the most obvious offenses in which they clearly know better and still choose to do worse, fight interventions, extreme whirlwind-like mess management, loud repetitive noises, streams of interruption which lead to virtually zero productivity, deliberate ignoring and severely selective hearing, and overall basic chaotic commotion. If it's not one child, it's another acting up, out, over, under, everywhere. This happens while I am working to prepare food to keep the blood sugar of masses steady (because that job never ends) and educate to train their minds to become responsible human beings able, willing, and eager to wholeheartedly fulfill their moral obligation to contribute to society at large (ahem). That means I must dole out consequences and/or deal with infractions all.morning.long. It causes me to grow weary long before the clock clicks p.m.

When the stress soars my neck hurts. Or my teeth ache from clenching. Lest anyone would mistakenly believe we have our act together.....

Oh my beloved little gifts,
I'm ready to put you back in your boxes now, tie you up neatly with bows, curl up on the couch under a blanket with a book and (quietly) call it a day. I'll open you up in the morning and we can try again tomorrow.
Love,
Your mama
*************************************
Side note: Do your kids ever learn spelling words that they are able to recite and write when in a spelling list, only to misspell them when they are actually writing actual sentences? Not that my brainiacs would ever do such a thing, I was just wondering if it was normal.....you know, for your kids.
************************************
Did anyone catch the Smith family on Oprah yesterday? [I did. I watched it in my *spare* time as I also watched the torrential downpour that was supposed to be outside drip where it did not belong (inside) through the skylight filling my big stock pot.] Whoa Willy. That's some lofty ambition. Making everything you touch better? Um, do we live on the same planet? I'm thinking that's a no. Mr. Smith, Can you stop by and touch my leaky roof? Much obliged sir.
*************************************
Guess who came to the kids' Awanas end of the year program? We were so, so happy.

Isn't She Lovely

From where we were....

On our second wedding anniversary we were expecting Jayla. A year and a half later, Onyx came into the picture. Not one full month after Jayla turned 3, we had our third baby. When she was 4, we welcomed our fourth. At the tender age of 6, her first sister, our fifth baby was born. That made for some interesting years....

Now, even after adding 2 children by adoption, our lives have become tremendously easier, more manageable and predictable than they once were. The older kids are truly helpful.

They are at such a fantastic age - young enough to still be home and not have many social commitments - old enough to offer legitimate assistance - young enough to be excited about learning new skills that contribute to the family - old enough to hold fun and fascinating conversations that show us the people they are becoming - young enough to want to spend time with their parents and siblings - old enough to play real games - young enough that afternoons adventuring outside are treasured - old enough to read directions to crafts and construct them - young enough that our parenting challenges don't involve words like dating or driving or drugs or going away - old enough to discuss the issues that do arise and develop solutions together - young enough that their attitudes are generally joyful - old enough to read books - young enough to savor trips to the library - old enough to begin to comprehend spiritual concepts and have their own relationships with their Creator - young enough to still enjoy simple pleasures - old enough to be taught to always enjoy simple pleasures.

What an extraordinary, wonderful, brief and special season this is in our lives. Earned only with time invested.
My heart. It is so full.

Some Days are Just Good

Like today.

I take it back

Children are expensive.
Received bills for our nice trek to the Children's Hospital last month for M & F.
Oh.My.Word.
That bright and colorful child-friendly establishment where they serve you free cookies while you wait and offer 'complimentary' iced tea does not come cheap.
Gulp.
I've officially declared June The Month of Fasting Food To Pay Medical Expenses.
How fun! Think of the time and energy saved in dish washing!
Anyone want to have us over for dinner?
Breakfast...lunch....snacks?
Just don't offer complimentary cookies and iced tea. We're onto that little scheme.

More than you ever wanted to know

I always like it when someone gives a sneak peak into their lives or offers various types of information about themselves that would remain otherwise unknown.

Here are my random thoughts and ramblings and oversharings for this day.

1) Kids aren't that expensive. Food, yes, sure. But there is incredible flexibility with frugal and healthful eating. Medical needs if required, yes, they can be costly. Clothing and toys and gadgets and electronics, no. Thrift stores and hand me downs are a beautiful thing. Being dressed to the nines is way overrated and children will continue to draw breath without an iPod, wii, or Nintendo DS. Really, they will. I'd venture to say we spend far less on our 7 than many people do on their 2.

2) When I dream 'big' it is of downsizing into a tiny house that would free up a lot of money to do much more useful things for many more people. Urban ministry folks who set up shop and dwell among ((the people)) have my utmost respect and admiration. (While we were in CA, my friend had to tell me it isn't always wise to stop and chat with ((the people)) on the street because I would.) When we drive by enormous sprawling estates, I tend to mutter things like "Stucco Monstrosities" under my breath. Even modest mansions sorta make my skin crawl.

3) Clutter makes me hyperventilate and I purge, purge, purge to clear out, clean up, and endeavor to live happily with as little as possible. It's a constant quest that drives my family crazy with a capital C. Still, as hard as I work at it, with 9 of us the junk seems to move in rather quickly and fill most of the empty spaces.

4) For children's education, I subscribe to the Better Late than Early philosophy. Let the learning milestones come as they are developmentally primed for it, when it is fun and exciting and not pushed so hard you become enemies during the course of their home academic career when you are supposed to be spending time together bonding and building relationships and growing in character. Let children be children. They are naturally inquisitive and will learn much in a rich environment full of activity and opportunity. If slight nudges and guidance will get the job done, it's much more peaceful than the heavy hand of a task master.

5) If our daughters (and sons) elope, great! We can celebrate with a big party afterward. I never dreamed of the fairytale wedding and honestly always wished we had gone to Vegas. Our wedding had to be one of the lamest events in history. Seriously. If they want the Great American Wedding, fine. I'll support either decision but please Lord, don't let them be a Bridezilla. Oh my. Those gals are too much. I saw them once on TLC in a hotel room with cable. Eeek. Scary.

6) I have a low social need and can spend a week at home without batting an eye. I enjoy hanging with the girls, but don't feel compelled to very often. When I am with friends, or even strangers, I am talkative and easy to hold a conversation with. But I am rarely the one to initiate a social gathering. If I invite you to hang out, I really like you :)

7) I usually feel like an outsider - left of center - like I don't really "fit in" anywhere. Maybe it's just my perception. I don't meet many people with a similar life! And if I do, they usually don't have similar thoughts about their similar life! Usually it doesn't bother me. Sometimes it does. Mostly I intensely crave freedom. I try to make it a habit to not try to impress people. The older I get, the easier that is.

8) I did not finish college. Yes, I am a degree-less drop out.

9) My husband is working late (again) and apparently that leaves me large quantities of time for self reflection and the relaying of useless information.

Stopping School

at 11:15 am to take a group nap on the playroom floor. Everyone in Deutschland grab a sleeping bag, pillow and bring your cranky selves to the slumber party. Will resume regularly scheduled activities in the pm. Or not. We are nothing if not flexible. ☺ Goodnight.

Reality Check

A few days ago, Jayla and I were chatting about when she grows up.

She said, "When I get older I'm going to adopt kids from Africa too."

My first, immediate, before I had time to really consider, gut level, knee jerk, emotional response was, "no honey, please don't do it."
I'm not proud of that. My own thoughts caught me off guard.

I pray that one day my first, immediate, before I have time to really consider, gut level, knee jerk, emotional response will be different.

I share this because I don't want to hide the things that are bad and hard and unflattering. They are present. I feel strongly that it's a disservice to prospective adoptive parents to paint pictures that are pretty and make us look nice and unrealistically altruistic, but are not truthful.

If I seem to send mixed messages, it's because it's really quite complex. I'm trying to be as real as I can be within the confines and limitations of exposing extremely full days and a delicate situation involving precious children who have been through more than I can imagine, and a mother who yearns to be better at loving them than she is, via blog. Not an easy feat.
Thank you for listening. And yes, I'm done blogging for today :)

Moments Ago:

This one was standing up in the bath tub,

lost her balance, and sat down on a toy.

It hurt.

She wanted mommy to make it better.

So naturally, my little gumdrop said "kiss my butt mom."

Sweet, right? ♥

Count them as Gifts

Psalm 127: 3-5 The Message Version
Don't you see that children are God's best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Your enemies don't stand a chance against you; you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.

The remarks we receive while we are out and about have led me to personally suspect that our culture *may be* (ever so slightly) losing sight of children being blessings -

of parenting as an honor, a privilege, a reward.

Family life is fruitful.

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes and they take variety of forms, don't they?

Some of our richest, most beneficial blessings are not those that make for an easier, more tranquil, serene existence.

They are the ones that come from the stretching of ourselves, far beyond our comfort zones, where we would have never, ever thought we could go.

From the fundamental awareness that we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we can not do this alone.

From the humble recognition that we do not have control, and the subsequent liberation that follows when we allow ourselves to surrender our will.

From the vulnerability that occurs when you truly love others more than you love yourself, when you have pieces of your very own heart walking outside your body - growing - developing personalities and opinions and behaviors that sometimes clash and collide - challenging us to the very core of our being.

When our lives are messy and difficult and trying, and we have opportunity to experience the exquisite peace that surpasses understanding.

When we give thanks in spite of how we feel, take time to praise, and breathe the refreshing air of a much needed shift in perspective called gratitude.

There are blessings that bring us to our knees and cause us to cry out to God after we have exhausted all of our best efforts because we have nothing more to offer. So next time, we go to Him sooner because we have tried it our own way enough times to know better.

When we realize that "success" is not a worthy goal -

Those are blessings indeed.

Thank you God for my beloved babies. They have helped me draw near to You.

May I always remember to count them as gifts. My blessings.