Best Friends

 

Drumroll Please: And the winner is.....

Milestones - by Kia Warner

“It’s a boy, Mrs. Jones!”

“Class President, Mrs. Jones’ boy, will deliver our commencement speech.”

“Mrs. Jones, your boy must report immediately for military duty.”

You’re cordially invited to the wedding of Mrs. Jones’ boy.

Mrs. Jones is pleased to announce her boy’s daughter’s birth.

Here lies Mrs. Jones’ boy.

(50 words summing up an entire lifetime!)

Since my name is not Kia Warner, I suppose I have no reason to jump up and down, wave my arms about frantically, turn cartwheels, and ecstatically shout for joy loud enough that my far-away-neighbors can hear, making them curious as to the dollar amount of the lottery I have just (obviously!) won because no person in their right mind screams like that unless they are under the influence of the All Mighty Powerball .

They did say this about yours truly in the announcement of the winner:

There were other entries as poignant, but they encapsulated a single moment in time, such as Tisha Deutche’s piece about her daughter. 

So, I'm going to consider that an Honorable Mention. ☺

My (very, very, very) short story DID receive the most comments and discussion, and that is because of you, dear and faithful friends. {Thank you again.}

They have not yet given the writing prompt for the next competition. When they do, I may try to start the wheels turning to see if I can come up with something to enter....or maybe not...I am a little bit busy.
This could get addictive!

Off to my real job now.... :)

I'm trying to spend less time on the computer....

I'll share some suggestions friends gave to help me accomplish this goal after I've tried them out for a while.

Today, she shared the thoughts I would like to say, saving me lots of time online, but no sadness whatsoever....

It's hard come up with the right words to express how thankful I am for her. In such a short time of knowing her in person, she has taught me by example about true friendship and trusting Jesus and acceptance and processes and standing firm in the ability to be fluid and kindness and allowing others space and freedom and room to grow at their own pace. Her "take" is often different from my own, and that is what I appreciate most about her. She makes me think of things differently.
As a friend, you can tell her anything and not be afraid.

Thank you Jody. I'll miss you. Washington is one lucky state.

Thank you!

If you took the time to have a look at my contest entry and leave a comment, thank you so much. I know it may seem kind of silly....it's just $100 and I plan to give it away anyway if I win.

But, you know, I've been a stay at home mom for a decade. Not a whole lot of opportunities for us to have our "work" recognized by other people present themselves day to day. Sometimes, I like to be reminded that I can do things besides wipe noses, correct behaviors, clean up messes, cook meals and teach fractions. (Don't get me wrong, I enjoy each of those and find them greatly worthwhile...except for the one that involves snot, but it must be done too.)

The fruit produced by motherhood becomes visible to us very slowly over weeks and months and years of labor. It's nice to see results from the work of our hands more quickly from time to time.

I am the kind of person that always has words, sentences, stories, both true and fiction floating around in my mind, filling the spaces, urging me to bring them to life somewhere. I scribble down thoughts on scraps of paper all over the place, thinking maybe one day I will have the chance to formulate them into something worth sharing.

I don't know if anything will ever come of all those pieces of paper, but this contest was certainly a fun challenge for me.

So, again, I say thank you.

I hope you find me a supportive friend in your endeavors.

I need you!

To compete in the final round of the One Tight Write competition, I needed to write a 50 word piece.

The winner of the contest receives $100 which I have chosen to donate to this missionary family, serving in Tanzania Africa, (just a couple countries south of Ethiopia) should I win.
You probably already know, I am thankful for Mr. Harrison's blog and the way in which he shares his thoughts on the Bible, theology, family, marriage, love and life. I believe he is a a gifted teacher and minister of the gospel.

The competition judges are taking comments left on the entries carefully into account as they decide who will receive the prize. So, I need your help! If you wouldn't mind taking a peek at this, (it won't take long, it's only 50 words after all! ☺) and leaving some positive feedback, I would be really grateful.

It was written with my sweet daughter Meadow in mind - the young lady surrounded by a family who looks so vastly different than herself - the girl who says she wants straight locks "just like Jayla's" - the one with beautiful, rich brown skin, curly black hair, and a tender, golden heart.

Baby girl, I see you.
Thank you for opening my eyes.
I love you,
Your momma

Headed Out

Some friends and I are going (all the way to the Colorado Springs Marriott!) for a Mom's conference this weekend.

I hope to a) learn a lot b) be encouraged and c) not feel condemned by all the things I am *clearly* doing wrong. (That list seems excessively long this week. Not good.) I made cookies this morning to make up for the afore mentioned bad parenting, then nearly lost my blessed marbles when the kids were screaming at each other over the (literally drops) of leftover coffee to have with my oatmeal, chocolate chip, craisin baked goodness. (No, letting my children drink coffee is not on the list. It is a good thing.)
Ahh, this is the life.

In other news, one of my 100 word entries about The Secret made it into the final round of the contest! Yay! I was only slightly deflated to know that of the 12 (out of 144 total entries) chosen to duke it out in the next level, 3 were hand picked, the other 9 randomly selected. What?! How dare they. {Wink}

I, of course, (like the other 11 contenders) opt to foolishly believe MINE was one of the carefully chosen according to taste. Random selection is just not flattering at all. The follow up entry (which will once and for all decide who will WIN!) had to be a mere 50 words about any subject matter. I only found that out this morning and had to whip it out quickly  in spite of my loud and lively brood's lack of cooperation because I'm taking off for the weekend in a couple of hours.

My brain feels mushy. Did that all make sense?

When it gets posted, I'll link to it so you can see. ☺

Validation of a Foreign Adoption: Instructions

If you live in Colorado and your kids came home on a IR-4 visa and you have yet to validate the adoption (re-adopt), the instructions for validating a foreign adoption are here: http://www.courts.state.co.us/

Go to forms
Then adoption
Then validation of foreign adoption

You can print instructions there and find some of the forms you will need for the process.

The background checks are time sensitive - we submitted our packet to the court with only 2 days to spare, so my husband's recommendation is to send in the required fingerprint-based criminal history check to the CBI (Colorado Bureau of Investigation) 3-4 weeks after submitting to the FBI. (We waited for our FBI background check to return to us before submitting to the CBI, which was not necessary. FBI check takes 12-18 weeks, the CBI check takes 4 weeks.)

He would also suggest completing the TRAILS (Colorado Department of Human Services) background check at the same time you submit the CBI background check.

If you have any questions, he would be glad to help you. ☺

Blog? What blog?

My husband was one of the (like 3) people off work yesterday for MLKJD. (It's good to be a quasi government employee, isn't it?) So, I took the long weekend (mostly) off the computer. Nice. Goodness, I love those breaks from feeling tethered to the internet. Bobby spends basically 0 minutes on the computer per day, (uless you count his new passion, angry birds on the iPod Touch) so it's easy to stay off when he is around the house. Lest he begin to believe I am a cyber junkie. We'll keep that little secret to ourselves.

Grandma had the kids overnight on Saturday. (Yes, she is amazing to do that.) The Man and I enjoyed a lovely, romantic date. Dinner, thrift store shopping, Starbucks, new tattoos, new camera purchase....you know, the usual.

Yesterday, if you look at the freshly posted pictures you can tell, we decided to Focus on the Family.

Tomorrow, our 1 year post placement visit is scheduled for Meadow and Flint. Time flies. And it doesn't. I would like to say it was the best of times, but that wouldn't exactly be truthful now would it? What is true is that I am incredibly glad that first grueling, eye opening, year is finished.

Having to learn to communicate via The English Language, and how to use a toilet, and what this crazy-crunchy-turned-soggy stuff you pour milk on in the morning is, and how to play with siblings without counting their toys in angry protest that you have less than they do, and that there is no need to hide food or gum under the bed, nor must every one of our personal belongings be stowed away beneath our pillow for safe keeping, and that mom and dad are permanent, not on rotation until someone better comes along, nor do they take kindly to overt manipulation and scream tactics, is not easy. Not easy at all.
And that was just the first month....☺

Now that that's behind us, things are definitely looking up.

~

Time has a way of constantly changing things. For better and worse, it takes the puzzle pieces of our lives and reshapes, rearranges, reconstructs them over and over again.

Some of the changes are subtle, the slightest shift, gradual, merciful to our souls, gently loosening our fingers that are reluctant to let go. Others are jolting. They take us by surprise, rattle us to the core. Walls we once thought solid and secure, ones we have so carefully and purposefully built up, come crashing down in an instant, abrupt, harsh, devastating, cruel.

Bobby's grandma always says, "you just never know what a day will bring." It's true, we don't. We are all vulnerable to the hands of time and the consequences of its movement.

As I look back, I think about the way my life has been played out over the years, how it has been sculpted. If I had only one regret it would be that I wish I had realized how truly special each chapter was, how quickly it would pass, how suddenly it would vanish, be set aside and replaced by something new which would hold its slot. The process repeating itself time and time again, relentlessly ushering in the new, emerging seasons.

I would have rejoiced more in the days, focused on the abundant good around me rather than what I was striving for, looking toward, desiring - Next. I would have lived more fully, those early years when we were just married and our hearts were wide open, full of adventure and promise. I would have treasured the nights with my new baby girl, slept during the day when she slept, allowed myself to rest, worry less about whether I was getting it right. I would have been easier with people, my parents, my friends, my children, my husband, less idealistic, more realistic, freely forgiving, offering grace, softer.
I would have given myself the same benevolence I should have copiously extended to others, been a truer friend to myself, kinder, expecting only what is genuine.

Recognizing that I will never fully arrive, that things are ever changing, that my days are vanishing away as I live them, I would have expressed gratitude, tremedous awe at each step of this truly amazing journey, whether that step be for the better or worse.

I would have looked up, smiled, and whispered "thank you" much, much more.

*

"It's alright Flint, I'm just taking a picture. You don't have to volunteer for anything."

After sampling some of it recently at a friend's house, I just knew.
No question.
There was no way I could continue to live like this anymore.
I HAD to have a Whirley Pop.

Do you own one?
If not, you should.
No, really.
You ought to run out right now and pick one up.
{It's under $25 and worth.every.penny.}
I'll wait right here....
Go on.

Got it?

Yes? You are one smart cookie.

Ok, now unwrap and rinse or wash it out {delicately}
as to carefully avoid any and all unintentional damage.
Dry it {gently} with a {soft} cloth.
(Whispering sweet nothings to your new baby W.P. as you polish it off,
preparing it for its exquisite mission is totally normal.)

Place it on the stove with 2 Tbs. oil and 1/2 cup popcorn over med heat.
Turn the crank - slow and steady - easy does it.

Wait for the delightful (pop   pop   pop) sound indicating magic is in the air.
Close your eyes and breathe in the the slice of heaven wafting out,
overwhelming your senses with pure goodness.
Swat away people coming up behind you, inquiring about the intoxicating aroma,
ruining your moment - this part is strictly between you and Whirley.
When the popping slows to one every few seconds, remove from heat.
 It's almost time.

Open the lid only when mentally and emotionally ready to fully savor.
This must not be rushed.

 Salt, butter, or sugar as you desire.
Place in your favorite bowl.
Sit down somewhere luxurious - no t.v. no internet, just you and the popped corn.

Eat while hot.

Now it's finally time to share with your loved ones....or not.

No need to thank me.
Trust me, it's my pleasure.

*****
Ramona and Beezuz
Just saw it.
What a cute flick.
Have you seen it?
Guts! Guts! Guts!
*****
-School-
We finished Isaiah 58 and are now working on memorizing Psalm 103.
I like the NKJ version best - Bless the Lord o my soul and all that is within me....
Indeed.
In going through (much of - leaving lots of parts out)
the Bible we read about Saul's conversion this morning.

Onto our 4th Little House book we are reading By the Shores of Silver Lake.
I know they are written for kids, but I get so much out of them.
I'm thinking some more 'What I learned on Little House' posts are in the near future.

There is no t.v. in our big bus of a van (which I love).
But, we do have a pretty hefty commute to and from town.
So, books on CD are our thing - the current pick is The Great Brain.
They are a fantastic way to engage the mind and make time fly while traveling.

J & O are both reading Boxcar Children books in their quiet time.

M & T are still working on beginning reader books, and are making great strides.

Flint and Stryder are writing the alphabet and sounding out 3 letter words.

In science after learning about cold and warm blooded animals -
those with and without vertebrae,
and how they are classified,
we have now moved onto finding out all about the human body.
Amazing, amazing stuff.
Every single part of the body is fascinating - even 3rd grade material.
They way your muscles connect to your bones and they way your skeletal
system protects your organs and the way a baby's bones fuse together and grow through the years
 and how involuntary muscles function beyond our ability to control them to keep us alive.
It is mind boggling.
Almost seems impossible, unreal.
Yet, true.
And some people say there is no God....

Ethiopian Gena

On Saturday we went to Denver to celebrate Gena (Christmas) along with many other adoptive families at the Ethiopian Evangelical Church. The hosts could not have been more gracious as they provided a wonderful event with fun games for the kids, hair braiding for the girls, and amazing food.

Meadow getting her hair done - she was not a big fan of the process, but liked the results.

2 teams of a traditional Ethiopian game - Deutsch kids vs Deutsch kids (plus one other boy.)
The settings were wrong on the camera so the only pictures we have of the meal are blurry.
Meadow and Flint were crazy about their injera.
Meadow started out eating with her hands, then later opted for a fork.

It was an honor to be part of the festivities.

It's not my fault.

It's theirs. The noisy ones.

My computer sits right off the kitchen. Everyone knows, the kitchen is where all the activity happens. (Well, most of the activity. There are enough smallish people living in our home to spread ample commotion around and around all.over.the.place.) Usually there are several children in the kitchen playing, sword fighting, joke telling, laughing, bossing, screaming, singing, clapping, stomping, breaking dishes - you know, generally causing a ruckus. Although, some of them do prefer to stand right behind me while I sit at my desk, looking over my shoulder, breathing down my neck, waiting for me to answer a {critical} question - "in what food group does strawberry cake belong?"

All in all, it doesn't make for the most peaceful environment - not one that is highly conducive to thinking through and articulating coherent, insightful reflections about one's {loud, and usually lovely} life.

So, keep this in mind when I let you know I am blogging here today. I said exactly what was on my mind at the time, what I would have probably spoken on my blog if I were not saying it there. (Because I tell you almost everything.) Yet, in hindsight, I'm kind of wishing I had offered up something lighter.

If it were quiet enough in my house for me to adequately gather my thoughts, I may have been (just a touch...ahem...) less self effacing on her site that is always filled with the most gracious, encouraging, edifying words which serve to uplift her readers, truly ministering grace.

Yes, I believe if I were thinking more clearly, I probably would have written about cute, cuddly puppies instead. ☺


p.s. *A special thank you goes to Carla. You may not even remember sharing such wise words via blog comments with me that have stayed on my mind, remained in my heart, and soothed my soul......it takes time to acclimate.....

Validation of a Foreign Decree

Check.

Discipline

When we were part of the cult, *catchy* phrases like "control your thinking" and "renew your mind" were tossed about like a colorful pasta salad in extra virgin olive oil. Furthermore, "schedule yourself" and "appropriate the promises of God" and "claim the promised land" were regularly dished up, like the Parmesan cheese going right on top.

I grew to despise pasta salad.

All that claiming, renewing, controlling, scheduling, and appropriating were quite exhausting. It left me deflated, feeling never enough, while paradoxically, at the same time leading to highly elitist thinking.

When we left that group, I desired nothing more than to run far far away from endless, continual, ever reaching, never content striving. I wanted to rest in Him. To abide in relationship with simplicity, to dwell, just be. I resolved to always check myself for legalistic thought patterns and tendencies, and thereby endeavor to avoid them like the plague. (I fail often at this!)

It's not my nature to make lists either. (Which is probably why I forget so much!) Nor do I have a strict homeschool schedule or a set type of discipline for the kids, or many other hard, fast routines or rules by which I live. Holiday celebrations are not consistent year to year at our house. Traditions are not ritualistically adhered to.
I co sleep with my babies and nurse on demand and let them potty train when they show interest and believe in the better late than early philosophy of learning. I may keep the kids up late some nights for no particular reason or skip school altogether simply because it is a warm day in January or serve ice cream sundaes for breakfast. We might even open Christmas presents on Dec. 22, spontaneously.
Going with the flow, being inspired, and allowing things to organically occur is definitely my comfortable, autopilot speed.

Lately, as I forge through this unknown territory called Adoption Terrain - I am beginning to see that I could be a much better mother to these kids if I disciplined myself to routinely, by schedule, reach out to them in very tangible ways. Waiting for inspiration was not effective in my new role. It rarely ever came on its own.

I must determine, in advance, what I would do and when.
I must discipline myself to draw near to them.

This where her challenge came in, at exactly the right time.

My family dynamic is such that when I sit in a rocking chair with Meadow or Flint Clover will literally scream and claw at them to get down, so I have altered the approach some to suit our brood.

But the effects of making a concerted effort toward them, of setting aside time to do what is required to meet needs and connect heart to heart, is already yielding huge dividends in a short time.

I'll share more about how later....

Did you know?

• That a marshmallow will look exactly like a marshmallow.....forever? Bobby made a Christmas ornament with a marshmallow more than a couple decades ago. Still true to form, it is unmistakeably marshmallowish to this day. Uh, yum. Go ahead and classify that tasty little tidbit right under *highly useful information* ☺
• This week we resume regular schooling activities. I'm looking forward to it after all our vacationing. We had our fair share of nasty colds during the break, which kept us home a lot laying low.  
• The 4 big kids also begin basketball. God bless the person who put Jayla and Onyx on the same team and Tyden and Meadow on the same team. Practices will be 2 evenings a week with games on Saturdays. ((I ♥ M.L.))

School update: Our 6 oldest were admitted to a homeschool program for next year at one of the local charter schools. They use Core Knowledge curriculum (which is what I use too) and will be taught hands on science, art, music, PE, critical thinking, math reasoning, and some language arts including one novel a semester and some essay writing. It is one day a week. J,O,T & M will go on Tuesdays, the kindergartners (F & S) will go on Wednesdays.
This is good news! The enrichment class they were participating in was purely extra, fun, and social - it did not offer me any assistance in meeting their educational needs. (It was not working out well for them anyway so we decided to opt out at the beginning of November.)
With this new program, they will have a uniform and be in full classes with kids their own age/grade.

I believe this type of help is exactly what I need to be able to continue homeschooling, and loving it. Figuring out what to do with school next year has been a really tough decision for me - when you have a family the size of ours, there are so many factors to consider. Each child has unique, individual requirements and interests academically, emotionally, socially, developmentally, spiritually. I also must realistically evaluate what we (I!) can reasonably accomplish in a day/week/year. I feel a sense of relief that they were able to get into the program and I think it will do a good job of accommodating the needs of the children and myself next year. My homeschooling heart rejoices.

Thank you for ALL of your valuable input on the subject of school. I am grateful to you if you shared your perspective. I learned a great deal from your insight and experience. I appreciate it so much.


Don't you love the way Flint has his hand on Clover's back in this picture? Sweetness.

I was SO happy to see Raggedy Ann back! I may or may not have let out a blissful squeal right inside Target just before I purchased this yarn haired beauty for my baby's birthday. Pure Nostalgia.

I'm going to take this busy week off blogging as we find our rhythm again.
Thank you so much for reading.
See you soon!

Guess what Mama got for Christmas?

Homemade french fries yesterday. Donuts today.

I'm thinking fried butter tomorrow....
☺