Patsy's Candies Tour

Where we had the chance to take a behind the scenes look at how they make all that deliciousness. Fun!

We are off to the Ingall's family homestead for our once (in a lifetime, ever?) true family vacation. [Did I tell you we read all 9 Little House books last year in addition to watching every episode of all 9 seasons of the show? Oh yes we did!] We've been away for weekends obviously - more recently overnight trips are kind of our thing now that we need 2 hotel rooms. I guess we have just never made travel much of a priority, which is precisely the reason our family rarely steps foot outside of Colorado. Once the children started coming fast and furiously and we had a slew of little ones it didn't seem like the most invigorating use of our time or money. Now that they are a bit older, we *fully expect* some amazing *rest* and *relaxation.* (!) Did you hear that Deutchlets???

I don't know how many people have said, "have a great time in Minnesota" when I tell them we are going to South Dakota. Do they think I am mistaken and I meant to say Minnesota? Or that we will arrive in De Smet South Dakota terribly disappointed that we really meant to drive to Walnut Grove? Oops! Wrong state! Let's go see Mt. Rushmore instead.

I like to chalk it up to the fact that there are few genuine, die hard LHOTP groupies like us. (Maybe that's a good thing?) A true fan knows that the Ingalls family really didn't live in Walnut Grove all that long and that their last homestead, as well as Laura and Almonzo's first was is South Dakota.

(Walnut Grove IS home to the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum. They even have a LIW week pageant each year which includes, among other exciting activities, a Laura/Nellie look alike contest. A thrilling goal to aim for, no? ☺)

We'll see you in a week or so, with plenty of pictures...intended especially for those beloved few who know the difference between De Smet and Walnut Grove. ;-)

Adoption Stuff

Thinking back to before we had our first baby, I realize nothing anyone said could have truly prepared me for the once in a lifetime experience. After I became a mother, from that instant forward, I would never again go back to who I was before children. Everything had changed. No one could have expressed to me, in terms I would be able to comprehend, the sudden vulnerability that would accompany welcoming my first child into the world. They couldn't have told me what it would be like to have my heart so tenuously exposed, that a tremendous piece of it would now be held by a separate, tiny being. I wouldn't have understood the fierce, protective emotion that would cause me to be willing to do anything, anything at all for another human I only just met. Experience was the only apt teacher for the event.

In the months since our adoption, I have often found myself wishing they had told me more so I could have gained a better grasp on what was to come. That they would have shared in our training just exactly what we would face. That the emphasis was not placed wholly on the children and difficulty of their transition, but also mine. Maybe some of the shock I encountered could have been avoided.

Or perhaps not.

Maybe it would have been like having that baby. It's quite possible that nothing they could have said would have truly prepared my mind, my heart, my soul, my emotions, my spirit for the journey we were entering.

As we were talking to some friends who have recently adopted and I was listening to them share their challenges, I realized something: Their words could have been mine. Exactly. Strangely, this has happened time and again since we returned home with our little ones while speaking with other adoptive parents. There are many common elements to our experiences.

It got me thinking, if I were facilitating adoption training what would I want to share with people to help them prepare themselves for what may lie ahead? Here are a few things I would mention:

• I would tell parents that the adoption of their children may expose parts of themselves to themselves that they did not know existed - parts they may wish they could have kept under wraps. It can be a  difficult realization to discover that when faced with unusually trying circumstances 24 hours a day 7 days a week, you're not the person you thought yourself to be. It's hard to look at. Still, if you let it, this can be a truly liberating discovery. It can do a great work of building compassion toward the suffering and sinful nature of others in your life. We all need abundant grace and mercy.
• Sometimes, our compassion flows more freely for strangers, especially toward the faces of orphaned children flashing before us on a computer screen. Once the kids are solely your responsibility and their immense need shows in often very undesirable ways, that compassion that carried you through the process may quickly fade. That can be really discouraging as you might be tempted to wonder what happened to the person you once were - the one who was willing to scrimp and save and do mounds of paperwork and wait and pray and withstand great uncertainty as you entered the adoption process. It's ok. It will come back. It will emerge deeper and more real, tried and true rather than fleeting and superficial.
•  It is not only the children's issues you will need to sort through. They will and have experienced grief and loss and sorrow and sudden change. So will you. Allow yourself to grieve if you need to grieve. Mourn if you need to mourn. Cry if you need to cry. Your life has also been turned upside down, as well as that of your family. Just because your adopted children have suffered huge, traumatic losses does not mean that your struggles are any less significant. They are uniquely yours. They will be processing and you will be processing. You are a human being, not just a parent.
• There is a chance you will be shocked to discover that if you have biological children your feelings and emotions toward your adopted children are not at all the same. God built into us wonderful, essential aids to help us birth and care for our children, like the flow of hormones and oxytocin that usher us through pregnancy and after. In adoption, it is a whole different ball game. The kids will be unfamiliar - in appearance, in smell, in feel. Their voices and mannerisms and quirks and behaviors and likes and dislikes will all be new to you. It's not at all the same as giving birth to a biological child, and the bond is developed completely differently so it's not at all strange that you don't experience the exact same love for them. It doesn't have to be the same to be exquisite and blessed and honorable. Don't stress about any distinction you may feel. The gap will lessen over time. It may or may not always be present, but that's not so important. Embrace the unique relationship with each of your children - biological and adopted.
• Your journey may be 2 steps forward - sometimes 3 or 4 or 20 back. There will be times of remarkable strides and moments of devastating setback. There will be elation and joy and excitement at the progress made, and sadness and sorrow over the lack of forward motion. In the tough times, try to keep the big picture in mind and think back to how far you've come. It's likely further than you think. Give them and yourself credit for every milestone. Praise God in good times and in bad.
• You may question God's presence in your lives and wonder if you did indeed understand His will for your correctly. It might even cause a spiritual crisis of sorts as you reevaluate what you thought you knew about how He works. Be patient. Keep praying. Look to examples in the Bible of people who had to wait and endure suffering before they saw blessing. There are many!
• Sometimes love comes slowly. It comes softly. More like a trickle than a flood. 
• What is hard earned is most satisfying to the soul. ♥

I don't know how you people do it.

I have a whole new level of respect for school mamas.

We have had one child in school for just over a week and another for 2 days. Already, I am losing my mind. Seriously. Losing it. This is crazy! HOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP TRACK OF ALL THE miscellaneous crap junk garbage unnecessarily sacrificed trees papers, notes, etc. that have to be shuffled back and forth from school to home and home to school?

This needs a signature, that needs documentation, this needs practiced, that needs reinforced, every night. These children are in K and first grade! For goodness gracious sakes.

And, homeschoolers don't do homework. ☺

Meadow and Flint really don't seem to get that most of the *stuff* they get at school has to go back to school. I'm finding papers, which are {supposed to be homework} ev.ery.where. Even after multiple attempts at communicating the importance of letting me see what they need to do and making sure they get help with it, because it will need to find its way to their backpack to be RETURNED. I (brilliantly! so I thought...) went ahead and set up a handy dandy, nifty little basket at the kids' computer desk just for these homework items so I could look them over and help ensure that items are being properly dealt with. So far, it's not working all that well.

Then, when they do bring home things and show them to me, like books for instance, they have no idea why they have them or if they need to go back or what they are supposed to do with them. And, well, I don't know either.

(((((ARGH)))))

I was obviously aware they had these same tendencies at home - to not track with what they are told or be able to follow if something is explained to them. But I really, really, really hoped that school would help them learn to learn and retain information. Maybe it still will. It hasn't been long. I think I had my hopes too high. I may have been wishing for (just a little bit of) magic.

Poor kids. This is a challenging learning curve for them. Although we are apart all day and I am certainly able to get some much needed, much appreciated respite, I feel like the after school/before school/homework tension is continuing to set us back when I so hoped school would propel us forward.

Unfortunately, this is about more than just homework. It has not been the best week for me personally. This school experience of ours has served as a reminder to me that no matter how many reinforcements I call in, no matter how much help I am willing to take, these precious Ethiopian children are ultimately my responsibility to teach, to train, to aid and assist and nourish and guide and admonish and correct and parent. To mother. And to this day, that reality is often entirely overwhelming.

Poor trees. It can't be easy making all that paper....

Sneak it in the salsa

At our house, tortilla chips with some kind of dip - hummus, salsa, or guacamole - are on the menu most days. Usually we are dipping our lunch (at about 10:30 am). A friend turned me on to a super sneaky, excellent way to get the kids to eat raw zucchini (a prolific grower in Colorado gardens!) *and not even know it.* Put it in the salsa. It actually works to sweeten it up a little, so even my kids who aren't crazy about spicy foods love it. As a mom, I know that giving them tomatoes, onion, garlic, jalapeno, and zucchini mixed together is like serving up some health in a bowl, which makes me all kinds of happy. And really, who couldn't use a little more happy?

Time for lunch...

Yesterday

 

 

 

 

 

 

The North Pole

Our Little House on the Prairie

The other night, a friend and I were looking at photos of her house and some of her current home projects on her iPad. I don't know about you, but I LOVE a peek around people's homes. Seeing how folks live is highly intriguing and thoroughly entertaining, in my opinion. I'm the one straining my neck and practically wrecking my car to catch a glimpse inside when it's dark outside and I can see in. Are you like that too?

Anyway, this particular friend is from Denver and has never been (all the way) out to our casa. So, she asked to see some pics.

I humbly share these, confident that they will not be a contentment breaker for anyone! Still, I've always taken pictures of the places we have lived - from our 1st one bedroom apartment, to this, our 6th place of residence in our 12 years of wedded bliss. We've been here 7 years (which means yes! We moved around A LOT in the early days of our marriage.) I like to look back at them and remember what I would have long ago forgotten and the sweetness of the passing years. They are priceless to me now, little pieces of our history, reminders of moments of time, fragments of our lives gone by. I tend to change things so much that from week to week year to year many of the rooms take on a slightly or drastically new look. If I had more $$ to work with there are all.kinds.of.things. I would enjoy doing around here. But, honestly, I am also very grateful for the lack of neverending resourses. It keeps me ever learning contentment and gratitude for exactly what I have in this very moment.

There is a chance you may have seen some of these before, as I believe I posted our dossier photos. But, that was at least a couple years ago, so of course, there are likely several changes.

The reason our house was finally (mostly) tidy enough to document is because we were having friends over to visit last weekend. Do you remember when I said that we (randomly!) met someone at the Denver Airport while we were on our way to Vegas who recognized me from the blog? They are now our dear friends Brett and Kristy, along with their 3 little ones. They came by and camped out with us on Saturday night (in tents!). We ate, stayed up late talking, did home church, and danced around our playroom together. Such fun. Perhaps our meeting was not so random after all. ♥

I forgot to get ONE single picture while they were here. Then, as they were pulling away I was bemoaning my thoughtlessness, so they reversed in our driveway for a quick photo. ↓ Here they are. ↓

Um, apparently I didn't upload these the way I wanted to,

so, we're starting with the half bath. ☺

This will one day expand to include a shower and become the boys' bathroom.

The living room

Our bedroom

Where we hang out and watch tv at night while the kids are fast asleep

I didn't get our bathroom, but you can see it a little bit

The antique milk glass lamp in the corner is one of my

FAVORITE gifts ever from Bobby

From the living room couch, looking at the front door

Dining room

Woops, I forgot to show in our bedroom the place

where the little ones like to sleep when it's their turn in

mom and dad's room

Clover doesn't wait for an invitation

She joins us nearly every night at some point

Office, where I sit at this moment

Bucket of library books on the office floor

Kitchen

Kitchen table

School / craft cabinets

My favorite Ikea find

I think it's supposed to be for silverware or something

but I find it perfect for writing utensils

Laundry room

Now, it leads out to the detached garage

Soon, it will lead to the (((MUDROOM))) !!!!!

Because we don't yet have the mudroom, these kinds of hooks are everywhere

Kids' bathroom

Towels for 7

Girls' bedroom + the guinea pig, Cookie

Girls' beds

Boys' room was still messy, but I've shown their beds and room before

The room for blessed addition(s) should one (or more) ever arrive

Too much sunlight, but you get the idea...

Again, a lot of sunlight, but this shows my favorite part of the kitchen -

the double ovens

These barstools are where friends pull up a seat to chat while

I'm working in the kitchen

I love that

Playroom (freshly vacuumed, obviously! ☺)

The maps on the wall are priceless teaching tools, I believe

Playroom again

Our gigantic couch where we watch movies together

The play kitchen that belonged to my grandma when she was young!

View from playroom toward the rest of the house

The park

The prairie

The end ☺

I think they won't do that again

Why are these 3 happy faces eating ice cream with chocolate syrup?

While these 3 look completely miserable?

It's because the first 3 jumped in the van when I told them it was time to leave the park.
The last 3 kept playing....and playing.....and playing....
(Meadow was at school.)
Yes, I made them sit and watch the ice cream eating extravaganza.
And, I *may have* mercilessly carried on and on about just how delicious it was.

Right now, they are scrubbing and vacuuming the very van they were so reluctant to climb into while the ice cream eaters are playing.

I'm sorry kids.
These are important lessons to learn.

Sometimes being a mom is really hard.
Thinking of ways to get through to them is not always easy.
And other times, it's ridiculously simple.
Like today.
I can't help but laugh.
((Mwahaahaaaaa))