tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post5400989536739636658..comments2023-08-04T03:59:39.958-06:00Comments on Deutschland: Adoption StuffTishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02795061370423701020noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-50449413430181331162011-09-10T10:09:26.301-06:002011-09-10T10:09:26.301-06:00Great Post! It is the most beautiful PSA on adopt...Great Post! It is the most beautiful PSA on adoption I have ever seen/read. You rock Tisha!jenlynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14098987761791601905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-67152598356965432282011-08-31T08:57:55.213-06:002011-08-31T08:57:55.213-06:00you've gone and done it again Tisha....
loved...you've gone and done it again Tisha....<br /><br />loved it.<br />well, it was hard to read but still, I loved in the 'hard to read loved it' kind of way.Hollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12870698663706346467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-48895689023157408932011-08-29T11:49:05.495-06:002011-08-29T11:49:05.495-06:00thank you for this. WHY do more people not share t...thank you for this. WHY do more people not share this stuff?? it is hard. brutal. worth it? yes. but NOT smooth and easy! not that i thought it would be. i just didn't know HOW it was going to be hard!Courtneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15081538432594107207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-81015783449570799502011-08-28T06:51:47.365-06:002011-08-28T06:51:47.365-06:00This comment has been removed by the author.Tishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795061370423701020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-38783674110203551522011-08-28T05:37:24.276-06:002011-08-28T05:37:24.276-06:00Of course you should not feel badly about feeling ...Of course you should not feel badly about feeling differently, but I have actually never heard someone w/ bio and adopted infants say there was any difference in the feelings they had toward their children, and the prevalent thought in society is that "you can't possibly love an adopted child like you would/as much as you would a bio child" and it's simply baloney. The comments we've gotten recently from well meaning folks about "having your own" and "how nice what you're doing for these kids" blah blah blah makes me want to scream! They're just my KIDS who I love completely, who I couldn't possibly love any MORE had I BIRTHED them MYSELF!!! I am just tired of adoption being thought of as second-rate compared to biology, and the line of thinking that love can't be the same is a big part of what feeds into the myth. NO, I've never birthed a child but I can tell you I could not possibly love a bio child any more than I love Ezra (feelings happened immediately w/out effort), Ellie (only took two weeks), and we're definitley getting there with B (almost there at 3 yrs!). <br /> <br />I know what you are trying to say, and I just want to encourage everyone out there not to give up... like just because it's okay to temporarily (like even years worth) have these feelings like it's not quite natural yet, and are these kids really mine cuz they don't really FEEL like mine.... well, at some point we SHOULD *absolutely* feel like they are ours totally the same, or there is something broken in US. And it's not a bad thing to admit that either. We're human. :)HollyMariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12316447804006046943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-55169486893322948322011-08-26T22:28:22.153-06:002011-08-26T22:28:22.153-06:00Thanks for sharing your heart. You know adoption ...Thanks for sharing your heart. You know adoption is a hope we have ... that God would one day allow us to adopt. I always enjoy reading your blog and how candidly you write. I love that you tell it like it is and don't hide your feelings. You've helped give me a realistic glimpse of adoption, not just an idealistic hope/ expectation that can often come to us "wanna be adoptive moms".Lisa Stuckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03968152705309259103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-30681462775960790882011-08-26T22:09:23.918-06:002011-08-26T22:09:23.918-06:00Our adoption journey has been the hardest thing I&...Our adoption journey has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. 11 years of progress, devastation, betrayal, hope, revelations and God's grace. We still battle. We still hope. We still hurt. Thank you for expressing so eloquently the very same journey you have traveled. God bless you and your family.Marty Waldenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07457166508208134485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-30634162055398172662011-08-26T07:45:53.814-06:002011-08-26T07:45:53.814-06:00Part of what helped me not feel so badly about fee...Part of what helped me not feel so badly about feeling differently toward M&F is talking to moms who had bio kids, then adopted infants from the hospital. Even they said it was completely different than the times they gave birth and the bonding was not the same, it was harder. Obviously everyone's experiences will vary to some extent - I'm not saying it CAN'T happen, just that it might not and parents may not feel as strongly for their adopted kids as their bio kids. I'm sure the age in which the kids are adopted has a huge impact as well. But it can certainly be difficult to bond with infants also.<br />I certainly wouldn't want to minimize that for the parents who are struggling even after taking babies home from the hospital.Tishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795061370423701020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-43786502385435248042011-08-26T07:35:07.793-06:002011-08-26T07:35:07.793-06:00I think the difference in feelings toward our adop...I think the difference in feelings toward our adopted children is only really there if we adopted older children. Having adopted three times, once an older child and twice babies... there is something so staggeringly significant that happens between parent and child when you get to bond so early.. during their infancy. It happens so completely naturally. I could even be fooled into thinking I birthed E and Ez... the bonds formed so quickly and fiercely (until I remember we don't look at all alike! lol). It has been a totally different walk with B, but I do believe we WILL get there 100% with the same feeling, as I can testify that three years in we have made huge strides and a mama friend of mine took 4 years for the feeling to be there, the exact SAME as with her bio children. So I know it can happen and time will prove itself. :)HollyMariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12316447804006046943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-43141508126857448502011-08-26T00:01:23.569-06:002011-08-26T00:01:23.569-06:00I'm writing a post tonight with a few excerpts...I'm writing a post tonight with a few excerpts and links to this post. Thanks again for sharing from you heart.<br /><br />:) :) :)Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17253303288242135440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-6548868728561166222011-08-25T19:27:45.402-06:002011-08-25T19:27:45.402-06:00Beautiful!
So well said.
Thanks for your transpa...Beautiful!<br /><br />So well said.<br /><br />Thanks for your transparency.<br /><br />I wish we had had an adoption coordinator that cared enough to share this with us. We knew NOTHING of the traumatic transition that we were walking into when we adopted 3 older children (ages 6, 9, 12) from Africa.<br /><br />Blessings to you as you learn to be the mama that God has called you to be.<br /><br />LaurelLaurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17253303288242135440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-39194790919469829062011-08-25T17:53:33.476-06:002011-08-25T17:53:33.476-06:00you're spot on. thanks for writing in a way t...you're spot on. thanks for writing in a way that most adoptive parents can understand :)janhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01390897119394514696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-38095009946275886612011-08-25T17:02:52.694-06:002011-08-25T17:02:52.694-06:00Thank you Carla! :) I certainly need to take my ow...Thank you Carla! :) I certainly need to take my own advice.<br /><br />And, thank you also for your comment about school and your experiences with it. It has been SO helpful to me. You help me not lose heart and hope.Tishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795061370423701020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34418044.post-28960246836953402862011-08-25T16:02:36.898-06:002011-08-25T16:02:36.898-06:00Amen!Amen!Carlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09012361340969011694noreply@blogger.com