Happy People Pardon.

That is a quote from Beth Moore speaking at a Women of Faith Conference. I was reminded of it as I have been pondering exactly where it is I feel God guiding at this time of my life.
It is a gift to have your birthday fall right around New Years. How do I want to be at 34? I'm asking myself. I have the desire to grow up. That is such a long process, daunting and overwhelming if I look at all that needs to change.
Where shall I begin?

This I know for sure, I must work to become better at pardoning.

Pardon: A kind indulgence, as in forgiveness for an offense or in tolerance of an inconvenience. A legal release from the penalty of an offense. Forgiveness of a serious offence or offender.

Our pastor at church often says he believes a person can become almost completely unoffendable. He suggests mature people are easy to be around. They are able to absorb, disarm, overlook, bless, and accept.
I've been thinking about how these qualities are interwoven. Maturity, happiness, and pardoning.

Pardoning isn't always easy to do, sometimes it's downright painful and I sense the strong urge to dig in and drag my feet. Shouldn't I hold fast to my (self) righteous indignation? I tend to feel smug in my annoyance/anger/dissatisfaction with another from time to time. After all, it's not like there is no valid reason for me to become upset in the first place. Have you any idea what they have done to me? My goodness gracious. It's absolutely awful!

People may rub me the wrong way, utter cruel words or snide remarks, fail to meet my expectations, cast their judgement upon myself or my children, disagree with me, act inconsiderately, overlook the circumstances surrounding my decisions, refuse to acknowledge my point of view, gossip behind my back, view me according to how I look or what I have, lie to me, break promises, severely disappoint, willfully harm......the list goes on. Ample reason to become sufficiently offended, no?

Here's the thing that brings me to my knees in humble recognition.
So do I.

I participate in all that whole long list of offences myself. I communicate things I shouldn't. Say words better left unsaid. Toot my own horn. Think thoughts I want no one to know. Behave rudely. Break promises. Hurt others. Pass judgements. Act selfishly. Exalt myself. This list also goes on. Longer than I care to admit.

I have to apologize to someone nearly every single day of my life.

Yet, even with all my nasty, ugly, despicable ways, I have been pardoned.
Why would I want to punish another person or think I am worthy of making them pay any type of penalty? I am not.

It's is not my job. I have been given no authority to do so.

When I stop to really consider the pardon I have received, and hold that reality in the forefront of my mind, it becomes no longer a huge, insurmountable, extraordinarily difficult task anymore to offer that freely to another. It is when I forget, that I begin feeling justified in my hardness of heart toward that individual and Grudgeland becomes a mighty comfortable place to dwell, perched on my very own plush judgement seat, adorned in my crown of self-importance, with all my haughty neighbors looking on in approval.

If I can still recollect transgressions that occurred to me ages ago, or if I would dare have the audacity to carry them to the table for that poor "offender" to deal with, I am very, very immature.
When God has removed my transgressions from me, as far as from the east to the west, why would I ever hold someone else's up in their face? He has also removed theirs.
Shall I with one hand readily accept the goodness of God for myself and with the other hold the shortcomings or sinfulness of another over their head? I don't believe so. Yet, sometimes I do.

Let me grow in awareness and acceptance of God's grace, mercy, forgiveness, down to the depth of my soul, and may I grow up to offer it to others generously, so that I can become easy to live with, mature, gracious enough to readily pardon.
That is my prayer for my 34th year.