I asked him why.....

On Friday, we watched God Grew Tired of Us (would highly recommend it! It's only $1 at Blockbuster) about the Lost Boys fleeing Sudan.
Saturday and Sunday he and I busied ourselves with much research and conversation as we are now trying to determine which agency would be best suited to meet our needs and wants on the adoption front. We discussed illness and HIV, and I heard a compassion in his voice that runs deep for those kids suffering because of the stigmatization of a disease that is no longer necessarily life threatening, one they acquired through no fault of their own.
This morning, I listened to him talk our children through Martin Luther King Junior's "I have a dream" speech. He taught them about the extraordinary significance of equality for all, and how important this would become to our family specifically, as we hope to become One with people whose skin color looks nothing like our own.
Shortly after, I overheard him chatting with a woman on the phone from our health insurance company to find out if adopted children's preexisting medical conditions are covered. (They are!)
Last night, we sat together and watched the Adoption Agency's video clips from Ethiopian orphanages, and read their information.
He didn't want to skim or skip any part.
Today, my heart melts for my husband.
We have been married nearly 10 years and I have not ever admired, respected, or adored him more than I do right now. To see this person willing to go places almost every man I know would not for children that are not his, not on this continent, not even known to us yet, astonishes me. He is more, so much more than the guy I thought I married. Truthfully, I had no idea he would be this way. Finding ourselves where we do now, making preparations for 7 children of our own, would have never entered my mind.
I asked him why. What is it that drives his passion to do such a thing? What makes him say all the time, "it's just money," as if he has extra heaps and piles of it lying around, or could pluck it off a tree in our yard, about the expenses? Why has his resolve never wavered?
He isn't exactly known for his emotional, softer side. (If you know him well, you are laughing at this. So true, so true.)
He told me, "few....very few things ever touch me to the core of my being. This is one of them."
Enough said.
He is a flawed man. After almost 14 years together, I certainly can not deny that reality. But I can also say his strengths are becoming more apparent, moving to the forefront, shining more brilliantly to me every day now, and I am thankful beyond words that flawed individual is my partner through it all.
I know I can trust him to mean what he says. I have no doubt he will make an excellent father, yet again, to some kids who may never realize how much he wanted them, or how far he was willing to go for them.
Although they will probably be unaware of the way his man's man heart broke for them long before he ever saw their faces, I will know....and I have to count that one of my greatest gifts in this life.