Tyden taped this to the ceiling.

It's right above his loft bed. What is it, You might ask? Why it is a picture of ME, of course! With the jolly Santa-resemblance I had to look down at myself and ask, have I been indulging in too many treats over the holidays? That is a big round belly....and a nice long uni-leg.
He put it there so that when he gets scared at night he can look up and see "me" and be comforted by his rotund, bald Mommy.
So many things on my mind.....still sifting through them, but I will say this on January 5, 2009:
Old age is liberating. Oh yes it is. I am grateful and glad for that.

Over the past year, something has been changing in my life. I have wondered many, many times, should I be more this? Less that? What parts of myself should I allow to show and what is better kept private or secret? What would the motivations be for the portions I want to hide? How shall I respond to criticism, about homeschooling, about adoption, about not having the socially approved electronics and sporting activities for the children? Or, about becoming completely unable to hold an informed conversation about pop culture, because I am so utterly out of the loop? What about the fact that I hate to shop because I see the faces of starving children in my mind's eye every time I stand in line at a cash register showing itself in my lack of cool clothes and shoes? What are worthy ways to spend my valuable time and what is a complete waste? Whom shall I engage my thoughts and energy toward serving/pleasing, and what people are better for me to have a more peripheral, sideline type of relationship with?
Amazingly, these questions are getting much, much easier to answer. I am losing the desire to try to be anything, aside from who I am. I want to be, in Him. I know without a doubt, that will make me the best me I can possibly be.

So, my goal is to let my life honor Him and let me be willing to leave behind the aspects of myself that do not. I know there are many, I am trying to become more aware of where they often subtly lurk, hidden behind justification, thoughtlessness, and pride.

I especially want to avoid trying to appear any particular way.

For those who like me, approve or support what I am doing, love me for who I am today as I strive to be better tomorrow by abiding more in Him, I am deeply thankful for true friendship and encouragement and for the iron-sharpening nature of certain relationships. If you can overlook my poor fashion sense, even better! For those who don't, well ok. That's really ok. It's becoming more so, anyway. Hallelujah, it's alright. I'm growing fine with it. You can't win em all, especially while wearing old shoes.

I hope to be real. Genuine. Honest. Myself. With my own set of desires, goals, ambitions, whether they win the popular vote, or not.
With this, may I also honor those I know and come in contact with by offering acceptance of them, uplifting and appreciating them just as they are this very day.