Very, very early in my first pregnancy, I had an ultra sound. There was some bleeding and my Dr. wanted to see how things looked and possibly determine if I might miscarry.
What was displayed on the monitor was such a sight!
There appeared to be a little tiny peanut. No arms, no legs, just a body. Only this peanut had a beating heart. The OB printed out the black and white photo of the small white blur and handed it to me. "Here is your first baby picture" he said.

The following April, at 19 weeks along after just discovering one week prior through a regularly scheduled ultrasound that peanut-image was a girl(!), I became very ill. I thought I had a stomach bug or the flu. As the day worn on, it became clear there was something else happening. I called my Dr. and he suggested I head to the ER, just in case. I did and was diagnosed with appendicitis. By 6:00 that evening I was in surgery, and later told it was a good thing for myself and my baby that I got there in the nick of time as my appendix had begun to rupture. The appendectomy was successful, although afterward I started having contractions much too early. A prescription for medication to stop them was given and I was advised to extremely restrict activity.
That was Easter Sunday, 2001.

I distinctly recall the time shortly after when a well-intentioned friend said to me, "if you end up losing this baby, at least you know you are fertile and can get pregnant again."
She didn't have kids ;-) I could understand her point, however I wanted nothing more than THIS baby. The thought of losing THIS baby was tragic to me. Bed rest was not the least bit relaxing as I was consumed with thoughts of keeping my little one alive. I had no idea what the outcome of this pregnancy would be, and so many things seemed to be going wrong! (I would totally have the capacity to enjoy some bed rest these days. At least for a while! Motherhood has given me that ability for sure.)

On exactly the first day of the 36th week of gestation, my water broke very early in the morning and I was in labor. After a completely natural, wonderful, exhausting, challenging, sickening (I was very nauseous) labor, our first daughter Jayla Kim was born at 6:02 pm weighing 5lbs 8oz. My world has never, not for one single day, been the same since. I'm sure any mother can relate to the feeling of life as you know it changing in an instant, never to return to 'normal' again.

When I think about what we call "abortion" I remember that picture of my peanut. That teeny blurb on the screen turned into my sweet, precious, treasured, adored, valued Jayla.

People on either side of this issue frequently debate when exactly life begins. Is it at conception, or is it at birth? It is difficult for me personally to comprehend how an individual, especially one who has had the privilege of becoming a parent, could look at a picture on the screen as a technician performs an ultrasound on a pregnant woman, and say that a life has not begun, however young or new.

At conception a sacred lifeform is made. It may not yet be viable outside the womb, but it clearly starts to draw nutrients from the mother, growing in strength and size, developing at an awe inspiring speed. Does the fact that we can not readily see what is going on inside dismiss the fact that life-giving processes are occuring? Is a woman who does not yet appear pregnant any less so than one who is further along? Is there a sort-of pregnant?

When a woman or a young girl makes the decision to terminate a pregnancy, the reality that her child can not sustain life independently yet does not make that baby an inanimate object! Proper respect and appreciation for this portion of the breathtaking process of development, offering necessary prepratory time to the parents-to-be is in order.

Of course, there are issues of poverty, poor parenting, child abuse, environmental conservation and preservation. Those are all legitimate concerns that must be taken into account. I do not see how any of those things make taking away a human being's right to thrive, or even draw their first breath acceptable. Truthfully, many people who trumpet such claims to legitimize abortion are not actually doing anything themselves to end suffering. Those can certainly be used as convenient excuses to avoid the inconvenience of parenting a child or providing someone else the opportunity.

There are the rights of women, and I fully support those. I simply do not believe going to a hospital or clinic to rid herself of an unwanted pregnancy should be one of them. Most of the time when our actions infringe upon another person's liberties, or cause them harm, we don't call them rights. We usually label them crimes.

So, if I seem "far right," extreme, politically incorrect, or like I am discussing things that are better left unsaid, it is because I feel passionately about this topic and that has nothing to do with politics.

I am deeply troubled by the legalization of abortion and I believe the effects are commonly haunting and scaring for the mothers of those unborn babies. I firmly believe we should protect women and children and stop making such a devastating option available.

I haven't written this to be argumentative or to start any kind of war of words or even a discussion. I fully respect anyone's right to disagree and I'm absolutely aware many do. It was on my mind as I read an article recently on the subject and as I have said, this blog book is for my children. Who knows, they may even decide to take another position, and that will be their choice to make. No matter what, I will do my best to instill in them a respect for the sanctity and exquisite beauty of every human life, no matter the developmental stage.