I began participating in a study this week at church with some wonderful women. I missed the first week and all the usual introductions. So, when Clover and I join the group, the coordinater (the only one who knows our family in this group) asks me to introduce myself.
I smile,
Hi, I'm Tisha.
I am a stay at home mom.
This is Clover.
She is 6 weeks old....
Kim, the coordinator: "tell them how many children you have."
Me: 5
Kim: And what ages are they?
Me: 6,4,3,1 and 6 weeks
Group: COLLECTIVE GASP
I'm not kidding. It was one big, simultaneous deep breath by all. Then, began the questions...the myriad of questions....everyone looking at me, expecting something...some kind of information...
Oh dear. I got flustered. I'm sure I was red faced.
Hey people, aren't we here for a Bible study?
I think it began when we had 4 kids, who were ages 4 and under. Lots of attention. Now, having 5 ages 6 and under I feel a bit like a freak show. I know, people are usually well intentioned. I have done my fair share of gawking at families I see out and about with a boatload of offspring. What was I thinking? I would like to personally apologize to each and every one of those families for making them feel like animals at the zoo. I won't do it again. If I see a big family out innocently shopping or eating, I will look away. I will close my eyes and run into things. I will whip out my blind fold.
We walked into a restaurant this weekend, and people stopped to stare. Unabashedly, they stared. Some looked like they wanted to throw tomatoes. Others appeared to want to stand up and cheer. Most watched. During our entire meal, people watched. Is this how Brittney Spears feels? Should I have worn my shirt with a scarlet B on it for "breeder?"
Our family is pretty young. I am still fairly new to this. I'm sure I will get more used to it. I might even learn to revel in it. No matter what, I suppose I must begin to graciously accept this role....the role of large, watched family....and hope that our children are perfectly behaved every time we leave the house to go out to eat or shop....hmmm....I think I just saw that Amazon sells groceries online and I do love to cook at home....
3 comments:
Jason's boss has 5 kids including 2 sets of twins. The older 3 are in HS now and the younger "suprise" set is Davis' age. He always has funny stories about going out to eat and stuff. I have always had this theory about public places. (For me, this usually involves a public tantrum, but it might apply to you.) People are staring for 2 reasons. One, they are looking and thinking the things you have just described. They have not been there, not walked in your shoes and it is just simply none of their business to judge. Or, they have been there and are watching thinking, I am so glad that is not me, we have moved past this stage and survived and that mom will be there one day. They are your secret cheerleaders!!
I feel for you! Although I only have 3, and the youngest is now 3, I remember the stares, comments, etc. when I had 3, 3 and under. Just try and remember why this is the right life for YOU, and next time tell your kids to thro food at them! :)
Oh, my friend. You are a beautiful example of what it means "to be fruitful & multiply." Our heavenly Father is smiling at you and is oh, so proud of you. Never mind what anyone says or thinks... let them stand in awe. You have chosen the more difficult path of obedience. May you be truly blessed and deeply feel God's pleasure.
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