Wiping here. Folding there. Laundry goes in. Laundry comes out. Nurse the baby. Change her diaper. Change the other baby. Spit up...Change the baby again. Drop off at school. Kiss an owie. Pick up at school. Nurse the baby. Clean toilet due to bad aim. Vacuum. Load the dishwasher. Shower. Empty the dishwasher. Nurse the baby. Breakfast. Sweep. Lunch. Sweep. Supper. Sweep. Read. Nurse baby. Pray. Bed. Nurse baby. Restart.
I'm constantly feeling like I'm doing the wrong things. Shouldn't I be participating in more fun stuff with the kids? Play doh, baking, crafts? Good mom stuff? Enriching activities? Should I be taking them out more? Onyx and Tyden would like a change of scenery during the day, I'm sure. But it's bitter cold, and after loading up 2x per day to take J to and from school, I really don't feel like taking the 4 out and nursing in public and dealing with public restrooms and parking lots and 3 toddlers and a newborn. Poor kids, mommy's agoraphobic.
As the laundry sits in clean heaps waiting to be folded, and the crumbs (ok, chunks of food) from dinner rest on the kitchen floor, should I be playing?
I like to tell myself to let the dust settle, relax a little. However, it's not the dust I'm talking about here, it's the lack of clean underwear and the diet of rejected food Stryder will ingest off the floor if I don't sweep up.
The constant decision to be made. What to do....what to do? I'm not trying to say that this is so hard, I just don't know what to do with myself and my moments. How do I spend this precious time without regret and still take care of business? I could really use a maid...a merry, merry maid.
1 comment:
Tisha,
I found your blog through my friend Courtney. She is my neighbor, and we attend the same church as well. I have been reading your blog and really enjoy it. I, too, struggle with the same thing you mention in this post although my kids are a little older (7 and 5). However, I never feel like I am doing enough. It's always something isn't it?
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