Reading and watching and researching and discussing and planning and saving and dreaming.....

That's what we do as we wait for the timing to be right to begin filing adoption paperwork.

We watch the 20/20 shows about international adoptions, how things can go terribly wrong for a family and examples of people whose lives have been turned upside down. Sadly, some parents, unable to cope with the stress end up lashing out in horrible ways, with devastating results. (There are many more GOOD stories than bad. The majority have happy endings!)

I read the blogs from adoptive parents, including one family of 12 who have taken in 8 children from disruptions (situations where the adoptive families decide they can not handle the children and turn them over to the state or another family for adoption.)

We read about attachment and bonding and post adoptive depression.

We hear about how over-indulgence can be harmful and shocking to children from impoverished countries, and we think, "oh, good" : )

We pray and talk to our children about plans for the future of our family.

We cut back on basically every non-essential item. There are no vacations, and rarely even outings aside from birthdays. Shopping is kept to a (usually second-hand) minimum, aside from food. Drops have been made to save money with cell phones, cable, the clothes line drying, the low thermostat, the never leaving the house ;-)

We try to take in all the information we can to be as fully prepared as possible. It's not always pie in the sky. There are real challenges and considerations to be made. How much am I willing to sacrifice if needed? How far am I willing to go for another woman/man's child? How strong is our marriage and how much stress can we endure? How will this affect our biological children? On a practical, day by day basis, do we have the time/energy/willingness/determination to exert the necessary effort to bond effectively?

We are doing our best to enter into this with our eyes wide open, informed, and aware of how difficult it could be and what may be required of us.

And still, our heart strings are so strongly pulled.

I think about Bob and the conversations I will start with him, "you know, sometimes this happens........" "What about that.........?" "Have you considered this.......?"
He responds firmly, every time. "I in no way expect this to be easy. We will do what we need to do." I believe him because I see it in him everyday. He is fit for the part. He doesn't balk at the money required or the sacrifices he will have to make. He is already there. In so many ways, with 5 young kids, and the lifestyle choices we have made, he is already there. He is resolute and I know it is not just every man who would answer in that way.

It shows in his life, day in and day out.

God has given him a passion for this, separate from mine.

Now onto the part I never, not ever thought I would do.

*Wince* Please bear with me as I feel like I'm going to pass out.
Deep breath. Okay. I'm still here. Still upright. Still breathing. I'll go on now, with one eye open and one closed.....
I'm telling you, these kids I don't even know yet have already got me saying things I never thought I would say.

This is an expensive endeavor.
Here is the breakdown:
Ethiopia Country fees: $8,500 for the first child, $6,000 per sibling.
Domestic agency fees: $6,000-$10,000.
Travel costs: $5,000-$8,000.
Least or best case scenario: $25,500.

God has been good to us and we have been able to save much of what we will need.

We feel strongly that it is best for us to have all the money upfront for a couple of reasons. First of all, we don't want to hit any snags and have to put things on hold once we start, and more importantly, we need to protect our family financially to safeguard the care of the children we already have. We don't think it is wise to heap a huge financial debt on ourselves, as we already have a larger family to care for.

As long as it takes to save the money we will wait. The current dire state of affairs in Ethiopia makes it hard to say that, but we feel like we have to. Our goal is to start paperwork in June.

I have put a paypal donation button on the side of the blog. If you feel inspired or led to give to this cause, we would be honored and (very very very) humbled to accept.

We believe one of God's greatest gifts to us is family and we will do everything in our power to make that happen for a couple of children with no parents to call their own.
We are by no means perfect, but we are faithful, willing, and passionately committed.

May He draw near to comfort the hearts of orphaned children, each and every single one of them who dreams at night of a forever family and may more couples say, let them come home.