When my passion becomes my religion

I am in trouble.
Adoption is my obsession.

Absorbed, consumed, busy. Left with little time, thought, or energy to focus attention elsewhere. Paperwork, training, gathering information, education, preparation....
Service is good, isn't it? It is better than good, it is noble, necessary, a condition of the calling of a follower of Christ. It is life altering, required, used for change in both myself and those I serve. It is important and crucial and teaches me about self sacrifice.

Yet, what is good and worthy and helpful, transforming, can become the object of my affection where what I am doing overrides my abiding in Him.

Without Him it becomes basic humanitarian effort.

I have found myself there.

Adoption is not my God. Worthy causes are not my God. Giving to the poor is not my God any more than rocking babies in the church nursery or working for VBS would be.

I do because I abide. I don't abide because I do.

Only I am able to tell the difference in my own life, if the order is right.
It hasn't been. I've been too busy doing to abide.

Sometimes I lose sight and need to stop, repent, turn back to my Lord and remember to focus upward before I move outward. It's easy to allow serving to trump or even replace truly abiding in Him. It appears fine, looks good.

It really doesn't matter if it looks like I am doing enough, inspiring enough, rallying behind other people's worthwhile efforts enough, advocating enough, caring enough.

I am convicted simply being in His presence, seeking His face, worshipping Him, being still before Him, serving in the quiet ways no one ever sees, validates, or appreciates is exactly where I need to be from time to time, doing very little at all.

To me, hiatus has been more than a slowing down of the blog.....I have needed to allow God to reclaim the throne of my life. Let my service flow from Him so that I don't just paste the title 'Christian' to my man-made efforts. May He alone receive the glory and may I be willing to sit down before Him for a while before I run to serve.

John 15:4-5 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of
itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.