Into a pile of dossier documents......
and I can't get up.
Paperwork is NOT, not, n o t, my favorite thing to do and I'm overwhelmed with the enormous number DETAILS that must be absolutely, positively correct on this dossier. Wowzers. Our agency said they have received 1 that was entirely correct the first time. One, uno, a single set. And it was completed by a couple of teachers.
Eye yi yi (as my favorite eldest daughter likes to say. I have no idea where she gets it.)
I feel the pressure to get it right the first time as we would like our case to go through the Ethiopian courts before they close in August through mid September and having to re-do papers will hold up the process.
It's amazing how fast love can grow sight unseen.
I don't know how this has happened....it's the oddest thing. Mind boggling.
How does a picture lighting up my computer screen suddenly become my daughter? How does a little girl I've never met take up residence in my heart, holding a sacred slot reserved only for my most treasured loved ones? How has her face begin to occupy my dreams at night when I've never even laid eyes on her, held her close, smelled her skin, heard her voice? Why do my eyes begin to tear as I'm busy hanging my kid's clothes on the line, thinking of a woman I will never meet this side of heaven, desiring earnestly to do right by her with her beloved baby girl? How hard it must have been for her to say goodbye......
I think about her all the time. Will she like these cookies I'm making for the kids this afternoon? Is she sad today? Happy? What does she need? What is she doing right now? Will she like it here? I wish there was something I could do. Closer. Why aren't I close to her?
Hold on baby. I want to say it to her. Hold on....we're coming for you. We'll get there just as soon as we can. We've prepared a place for you. Somehow, some way you've captured our hearts.
We will never be the same.
It's Love. Unusual, breathtaking, vulnerable love.
I guess this is adoption.
4 comments:
I am so excited that you are "on your way" I will pray for quick review of your paperwork, and that you will have it done correctly the first time! God will help you through it all! I'm so excited for the entry where you introduce this little girl to us all!
wow. love your new template, first of all. and love hearing how your heart is feeling every step of the way!
Oh Tisha,
That part where you said, "hold on...we've prepared a place for you" gave me chills and made my heart flip. Isn't that what God says to each of us. Oh my, oh my, what kind of love is this! Thanks for giving me a new perspective, and for sharing this very important struggle in your life.
And are you going to share the photo of that beautiful little African princess?
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