Family photo 2013

Family photo 2013

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Lest my head grow large(r)

Speech Report: During the first service, it went pretty well. I was surprisingly less nervous than I thought I would be. Praying, giving it to God, asking that He may be glorified, and reminding myself this is NOT about me, this is about the precious children, the ones who wait, those that need homes and families, helped.

By the second service, all my energy was clearly consumed in preparing the first. So, far too relaxed I walked onto the stage to cooly begin with my icebreaker. I broke the ice, then fell into the freezing water! It was supposed to be about the advice I received to picture the audience in their underwear. Rather than the disarming and funny version, I mispoke and uttered something about picturing them in my underwear.

It was good stuff. Oh yes, they laughed. I did too. I have to admit it was funnier. Keeping me nice and grounded. Just in case I was considering a career involving public speaking, now I know. I am no Beth Moore ☺ I'm ok with that.
Did you see it? Grey's Anatomy last week? We finally caught it yesterday. When Christiana was celebrating about the heart transplant donor for the girl who was waiting and Teddy pointed out the man who was dying and his grieving family, I thought, Yes! That's it. So much like inter country adoption due to poverty or illness.....happy/sad/rejoicing/mourning, mingled, intertwined, walking toghether, hand in hand.
Court Thursday in Et. Probably will not find out results until Monday because of the holiday weekend.
JOTSC are doing well as we prepare for kids to come home. Little do they know what's in store ☻ In fact, neither do I.

When we first heard news of the court date, this all suddenly became very real. In response, I grew scared, worried, overwhelmed, doubtful. The risk, the responsibility, the unknowns, the grief and change these kids will face, the grief and change our biological kids may face. The end of life as we know it. How exactly am do I think I am going to manage all this?
[Will people tell me I have my hands full? Stare at us when we're in public? Count children? Mutter, "better you than me"? How would I possibly respond to such a thing? ☺]

Am I nurturing enough? Patient enough? Hard working enough? Optimistic enough? Strong enough? Mature enough? I am not. I know myself too well to believe that I am.

If there is any measure of success in this adoption, it will be due to God's blessing, His equipping, His guidance, His unfailing assistance, His wisdom. No question. I completely relate to Moses, Gideon, Ananias, and others who were certain they were inadequate.

I have to remind myself, that's perfectly alright. This is often how He likes to do it. With the unlikely, the unsure, the weak.

Let this be the Lord's work, and I'll just show up. Ready to see Him shine, standing in awe of what He could do for these children through a broken vessel like me.
I'm prepared to be amazed. Expectant. Wholly reliant. On my knees.

He has graciously brought us this far. He will not abandon us. Not now when we're really getting started with the hands and feet of this. Not ever.

I know the One who is enough. Oh, the comfort that brings.

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