Just the facts ma'am

I'm up nice and early (6:38 Yes! That's Early! I still have a fierce cold with a smoker's cough and would adore snoozing all day.) to have a moment to myself that I may sit and type.

The instant I saw Meadow and Flint standing outside the orphanage as our taxi bus pulled up in front, I did feel great emotion for them. It was surreal to see in live, 3D, whole moving beings the children I had looked at in pictures, prayed for, longed for, hoped for, all those months.

{I'm currently being joined by those surreal blessings + a bundle of joy that came to us 5 years ago. They're awake! Oh wait, here comes the 3 year old too. We'll see how far I get.....}

I can't say it didn't get harder after that, because it did. When things seemed to be going so wrong in Ethiopia at the end, and we simply could not communicate with them, and Flint had a tenacity for running off at the many places and events we had to attend, and I was exhausted and ill the whole trip, trying to eradicate head lice in a place with little hot water where our shower was our bathroom so showering meant drenching the entire bathroom floor where the standing water stayed no matter how hard Bob tried to squeegee it down with a flip flop, and the kids did not know how to use a toilet or brush their teeth or do a thousand other 'normal' things, and the smallest tasks are ultra challenging when you don't speak the same language, and I could not figure out how on earth we would ever survive the travel home as I was vomiting every few minutes, and I was missing, missing, missing JOTSC, and tensions were rising between Bobby and I as we tried to deal with the visa situation and didn't always agree on the best next step to take, and the stress was high.....it was tough. If someone had offered me a chance to take those ridiculously long plane home, alone, I may have said a big, fat, resounding, reverberating YESSSSSSSSS and then pumped my fist in the air a few times, relieved at the chance to be free. I'm not proud of that.

And then, in His graciousness and benevolence, God showed up and taught me about compassion and mercy and grace. He gave kindness to me when I needed it most, when I was growing weary and selfish and disillusioned with the entire notion of what we were there to do, when I was questioning everything that brought us to this point. As my immaturity was rearing its ugly, ugly head, He came along side me and did not condemn. He offered sufficient grace to carry us through. I couldn't stop thinking of a dear friend who experienced a level of grief after bringing her child home I could now see more clearly what she was facing. Breakthrough. Humbling breakthrough.

This is God's work taking place in my life. Heart wrenching, exposing, truth facing, time to get busy and grow up work. He is good to me. When I do not deserve it, He is there - present, near, faithful. I am His. They are His. We are in this together.

I do love them. I am glad they are here. Happy to see them as we move throughout our busy, adventurous days. As I suspected and was told, there are parts that are really challenging. Absolutely. I wouldn't advise blindly, naively going into an adoption with rose colored glasses. Yet, I would not trade those very children, this experience, this opportunity for big, abounding, transforming love to grow and take root in my heart, for the world. What a privilege.
They are my teachers.

I have tons of pictures to share - over time. Here are a few.
Hey Mickey! You're so fine you blow my mind.

The beautiful Meadow.
Our showerbathroomsinktoilet. Everyone should use one of these for a while ☺


The rest of the room.

A precious moment spent with you all through the computer at the guest house.

The smile that melts me.