A few days ago, Jayla and I were chatting about when she grows up.
She said, "When I get older I'm going to adopt kids from Africa too."
My first, immediate, before I had time to really consider, gut level, knee jerk, emotional response was, "no honey, please don't do it."
I'm not proud of that. My own thoughts caught me off guard.
I pray that one day my first, immediate, before I have time to really consider, gut level, knee jerk, emotional response will be different.
I share this because I don't want to hide the things that are bad and hard and unflattering. They are present. I feel strongly that it's a disservice to prospective adoptive parents to paint pictures that are pretty and make us look nice and unrealistically altruistic, but are not truthful.
If I seem to send mixed messages, it's because it's really quite complex. I'm trying to be as real as I can be within the confines and limitations of exposing extremely full days and a delicate situation involving precious children who have been through more than I can imagine, and a mother who yearns to be better at loving them than she is, via blog. Not an easy feat.
Thank you for listening. And yes, I'm done blogging for today :)
Family photo 2013
4 comments:
Your messages are not mixed at all to me, but that is easy to understand why. It is a difficult thing to explain and have folks REALLY understand unless they have adopted the older child too. There is nothing cut and dried about adoption, no matter what type of adoption. Adoption isn't always a good thing. It can be a good thing,and many times turns out to be, but it isn't always.
thanks for being real!
I love that you are real! And thank you for showing it! So many people (probably including me) think they are being "real" on their blogs, and it is so hard to do! So thank you!
I can understand your knee jerk reaction. I've read about your heart for families staying together, I have read about the struggles you've experienced. I've also read about your love for ALL of your kids. It is obvious you agonize over giving them the best of yourself. You're response does not seem unloving to me, it seems like you spend a lot of thought and love on the concept of adoption. You've done a great job of projecting reality. It can't be easy, but you are doing it well.
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