Family photo 2013

Family photo 2013

Monday, September 20, 2010

We are weighing out the option of placing Meadow in public school. I believe it may give all of us a little rest, including Meadow. On the academic side, I believe she could benefit from more specialized instruction from teachers that are far better qualified than myself to deal with English as a second language.

On a personal note, it may be some relief for her to have time away from her siblings, and vise versa. Although according to age she should be grade 1, she would have to enter K.

She has been showing some aggression toward the other children in the house, with the exception of Flint. Briefly put, she says she feels "mad inside" at Jayla, Onyx, Tyden, Stryder and Clover.

I really haven't the foggiest idea what would be best. I don't want to single her out by sending her away, especially if she already feels different from her brothers and sisters. But quite frankly, having her gone for a while would be helpful to me as I feel completely maxed out - responding to constant "issues."

Praying, praying, praying....
We need clarity.

11 comments:

Holly said...

oh, I will be praying!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know you want what is pure, peace-loving, considerate and all that James 3:17 jazz...so that's what I'll be praying.

He knows. He knows.

HollyMarie said...

It's really a tough call. I can tell you that for Bereket, we skipped Kindergarten (I didn't even do K homeschooling) and we put her straight into first grade and she did FINE. She didn't even know all her letters when she entered, but still caught up to her peers before the end of the year and was reading like crazy. They had an awesome reading recovery program that she enrolled in.

I can also tell you that for kids where English is the only language spoken at home, ESL services probably won't help. They didn't make a hill of beans difference for Bereket and only served as another pull-out of her regular class which she hated.

I can also tell you that Bereket STILL struggles with the fact that SHE goes to school all day and Ellie stays home with me. It DOES serve as one more isolating thing. Even though she enjoys school, we have tears and whining most mornings.

I can also tell you that until those "angry inside feelings" go away... home is probably the best place FOR her, whether she wants to go to public school or not.

That's not the easy road... but I'm just telling you how it went down for us. That first year and a half that Bereket was home I longed for a break and almost wished we had enrolled her in school even though I knew she wasn't "there" yet with security in our family. And I knew that that was more important. But man, I wanted to send her some days.

Anyway you can get her into some attachment/adoption therapy to help her through? She sounds like she could really use some intense one-on-one time... which must be hard for you to find with your busy days.

((HUGS))

Deanna said...

I will be praying!! I know that God will guide you in this decision as you seek Him!!

Carla said...

Tisha,
Just some encouragement, I have homeschooled since my oldest was in first grade (18 years) and fully expected to home school our adopted children from Ethiopia. With confirmation through Lisa's blog (A Bushel and A Peck) the Lord led us to put our oldest adopted child in first grade this year. My only regret is that I didn't listen to my instincts last year, would have saved us lots of struggle. She is doing fabulous and it has helped the home situation too. I know God will show you what is best for your family, but don't let it make you feel guilty or like a failure. I think that having a break from the adopted family is very good for these children, at least in the beginning, then one year at a time. At this point, we are planning on sending the younger one to kindergarten next year, we'll see. I'll say a prayer for you!

Lindy said...

Praying for peace with whatever you decide.

Courtney said...

wow. i know that's a HUGE decision for you guys! praying for wisdom and PEACE...

Unknown said...

I'll take your sweet baby under my wing in a heartbeat! Come visit me if you'd like! Praying. Such a tough decision - but know you'll do what's best - as you always do!

Jodie said...

Praying for your decision and her heart!

one thankfulmom said...

I know how hard this decision is. We wrestled with it for a long time before putting Dimples in school. It has been a very good decision for us and we have no regrets. Her adoption/attachment therapist affirmed our decision. We have seen great strides in her as well as significant healing for the children who are still at home.

I should add, I am in my twentieth year of homeschooling and I hold it dear to my heart.

I've written fairly extensively about this on my blog, but I can sum it up by saying that children with trauma histories who are highly anxious need a highly structured environment. It is calming to them and provides them with literal relief. This is extremely difficult to provide for hours on end at home.

Nobody knows your children or your life like you do - except the Lord. He will lead you.

If I can help - give me a call.

Lisa

Anonymous said...

Lord, give Tisha and her husband abundant wisdom, clarity and unity. Fill Tisha to the max, especially when she is feeling maxed out. Meet Meadow in all her dark places. Shine Your awesome light into those places and fill them, please, Lord.

Tisha...I am so sorry things are so tough right now. I will be praying for you guys.
love--jen

Michelle said...

Praying that the Lord will help you discern what is right for all of you Meadow included.

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