Too much of a good thing...

Hasn't God granted us such amazing gifts as we sojourn together on this earth?
There are pleasures to partake in that refresh our sometimes weary souls. There is noble service to do that fulfills our need to make a difference - to have our lives count for something that will last long after we are gone. There are people to extend love toward, to receive love from - family, friends, our spouses, parents, siblings - the sweetness that only being in relationship with others can offer, knowing that we really matter to someone.

And yet, as I long for these gifts, the ones that make our days and years truly enjoyable and comfortable and palatable, and worthwhile, I am often reminded of these words spoken by Jesus:

Luke 14:26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.
 Matthew 10:37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

And I think about how much time, energy, focus and thought I place on the pursuit of the honorable goals He has given us rather than on the giver Himself.  I remember how tempted I constantly am to make my life all about doing what He has told me in His Word to do, they are good things after all, and how easily I forget to fall at His feet, to allow Him to freely give and take away, to open my hand, my heart, my eyes, to drop my own (perhaps cleverly disguised) self advancing agenda and surrender to His glorious will for my existence on this planet....even if it means I can not, should not, will not get the pleasure of experiencing some of His good gifts. Either temporarily or permanently.

Becoming immersed in my family, my children, my service to the orphan or to the poor will all look really, really nice from the outside. It will likely land me the applause of many. It is part of my responsibility, rightfully so. Yet, there are times that I know to the depth of my being that in the very midst of doing all this excellent work, my priorities are completely off. I elevate the creation above the creator. I turn my service, my act of worship, my offering, into my god.

Like other acts of service, I do believe raising a family can be a valuable ministry. We feel it would be a privilege to expand ours. You may already be aware, I earnestly yearn for another child.

Still, if I choose to {subtly} elevate my allegiance to this worthy endeavor over my allegiance to God, I have missed the mark entirely. Let me rather not have it at all than to have it over Him.

I pray that in my tendency to place such high emphasis on this good gift, I do not forget to submit to The Giver's desire for my life, whatever it may be. That I do not fail to praise. Always. Whether or not I ever get what I long for.

"Yes Lord, I do want this....but I want you more."