Discipline

When we were part of the cult, *catchy* phrases like "control your thinking" and "renew your mind" were tossed about like a colorful pasta salad in extra virgin olive oil. Furthermore, "schedule yourself" and "appropriate the promises of God" and "claim the promised land" were regularly dished up, like the Parmesan cheese going right on top.

I grew to despise pasta salad.

All that claiming, renewing, controlling, scheduling, and appropriating were quite exhausting. It left me deflated, feeling never enough, while paradoxically, at the same time leading to highly elitist thinking.

When we left that group, I desired nothing more than to run far far away from endless, continual, ever reaching, never content striving. I wanted to rest in Him. To abide in relationship with simplicity, to dwell, just be. I resolved to always check myself for legalistic thought patterns and tendencies, and thereby endeavor to avoid them like the plague. (I fail often at this!)

It's not my nature to make lists either. (Which is probably why I forget so much!) Nor do I have a strict homeschool schedule or a set type of discipline for the kids, or many other hard, fast routines or rules by which I live. Holiday celebrations are not consistent year to year at our house. Traditions are not ritualistically adhered to.
I co sleep with my babies and nurse on demand and let them potty train when they show interest and believe in the better late than early philosophy of learning. I may keep the kids up late some nights for no particular reason or skip school altogether simply because it is a warm day in January or serve ice cream sundaes for breakfast. We might even open Christmas presents on Dec. 22, spontaneously.
Going with the flow, being inspired, and allowing things to organically occur is definitely my comfortable, autopilot speed.

Lately, as I forge through this unknown territory called Adoption Terrain - I am beginning to see that I could be a much better mother to these kids if I disciplined myself to routinely, by schedule, reach out to them in very tangible ways. Waiting for inspiration was not effective in my new role. It rarely ever came on its own.

I must determine, in advance, what I would do and when.
I must discipline myself to draw near to them.

This where her challenge came in, at exactly the right time.

My family dynamic is such that when I sit in a rocking chair with Meadow or Flint Clover will literally scream and claw at them to get down, so I have altered the approach some to suit our brood.

But the effects of making a concerted effort toward them, of setting aside time to do what is required to meet needs and connect heart to heart, is already yielding huge dividends in a short time.

I'll share more about how later....