It's been nearly 2 weeks

Since beginning this process of telling people more than they ever wanted to know online journaling in late 2007, I have never taken a break from blogging for as long as this one.

Here are some things I learned while on hiatus:

1) If you are going to become ill, it is infinitely more pleasant to find yourself horrifically nauseated with an incredibly sweet pint sized companion to keep you company, cuddling on the couch and dozing off at will between trips to the porcelain bowl, as you fight against the urge to purge all day long, together. As they (the people  full of wisdom) say, 2 are better than one (especially when the small one has the face of an angel!) It is also super nice to have a daughter who is mature well beyond her 9 years that is able to hold down the fort while mom and baby (yes, my dolly is still a wee little, teeny tiny, itty bitty baby) lie around watching episodes of Sesame Street and Dr. Oz, crying out from time to time that ooooooooh their stomachs hurrrrrt.

2) At this stage of life, it is better not to have a scale in the house at all. I don't know whether it is post adoptive stress, or age, or a combination of both, but in my 35th year, things began not working exactly as they used to. Despite the same eating and exercise habits, which include plenty of fitness inducing activity, my body just wants to hold onto a few more lbs. than it once did. This realization has riddled me with anguish, (as I buy larger pants) which in turn has caused me exercise more profusely.....and become more discouraged when the ridiculously disobedient scale wouldn't reflect my hard work. So I threw the thing in the trash. Selavi. I am now focusing on overall health, not numbers (including jeans size!) Freedom. Tastes so sweet.

3) I may need an "enhancement" to correct vision in my still blurry left eye. My eyes did not respond overly kindly to lasik the first time, so I am NOT looking forward to another procedure. Poor, poor me and my great big huge problem.

4) With rumors of gas prices rising to upwards of $5.00/gallon, I am really glad that over the years I have learned to find great comfort and contentment within the walls of my own home. Because that is where we, and our 12 passenger van will be staying.

5) Thoughtful women dining together can, in one seamless conversation, cover topics ranging from the role of church in our lives, to placentas, to the glass ceiling effect that seems to keep some individuals at a certain level, to labor and delivery of precious babies, to *romance* in marriage, to the existence (or lack thereof) of hell, to our rights and/or abilities to claim old testament promises as our own. In case you weren't already convinced, ladies are some gifted, gifted individuals. I am completely thankful for excellent friends.

6) My husband is an amazing man. I am humbled and honored to be his wife. Marrying him was, by far, my wisest choice to date. (It doesn't hurt that he swears he can not tell a difference in my *new larger* size. He is a smart one indeed!)

7) Whether or not I am blogging or spending little or much time on the computer or playing games with them or doing all the right things with the each of the hours in my day, one thing is of primary importance if I am going to be the type of mother who can go to bed at night and rest easy in the assurance I have given my best. I must show my children abundant, pure, honest, plentiful, benevolent, kindness. No matter what we are doing or how busy we are or are not, if that single simple element is lacking as I relate to them, both while disciplining and while having fun, all else fails. My best efforts to engage my kids by giving them my time and attention will fall short if I do not do it with an extraordinary amount of kindness toward them. It works as a powerful, healing, connective agent, binding mother to child, soul to soul, heart to heart. It tenderizes, purifies, and motivates intentions. Both mine and theirs.
After nearly a decade of mothering, this is what I believe to be true.