Family photo 2013

Family photo 2013

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The day in which I confess...

That there are moments when I don't like this job at all.

That from time to time, I daydream about doing something different, where perhaps my talents, abilities, and efforts would not go unnoticed, where a lasting sense of accomplishment would not be a foreign concept, where effectiveness would not perpetually elude me.

That while one of the greatest privileges on earth, the responsibility of raising children is also a heavy burden to bear.

That while home educating carries a host of its own unique benefits, there are also immense challenges.

That the sheer volume of the workload associated with having a large family of young children is not necessarily easy to sustain.

That parenting adopted kids well, with the variety of issues they bring to the table, can feel virtually impossible.

That although I know I shouldn't, I sometimes wish they would show gratitude for the extraordinary efforts made on their behalf.

That the relentless nature of this endeavor can be draining.

That the demands of raising a family, especially one that fits outside the box, can weigh on a marriage.

That on occasion, I wake up in the morning fine, only to have a headache an hour later, because the day has begun.

That sometimes I don't recognize myself, the me I once knew, in this role.

That I never thought motherhood would be this way.

That I expected something altogether different.

That often enough, when I am certain I have already tried it all, I fall fresh out of ideas to formulate A Good Plan.

That as a woman with needs and desires of her own, selflessness isn't always my second nature, or first priority.

That forgiveness must be continuously fostered to forge strong family bonds.

That holding a grudge is easier to do, maybe even more pleasurable.

That relationships are fragile and must be handled with care.

That their acceptance, success, good behavior, virtue, academic or athletic prowess is not my ultimate goal.

That it is permissible for me to be ok, even when they are not.

That I am the servant, not The Source.

That tenderness toward one another ought never be lost.

That truly putting yourself in the other person's place offers valuable perspective.

That God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

That a soft answer turns away wrath.

That strength mustn't mean overpowering.

That insisting on our own way is often fruitless.

That harboring disappointment lends to bitterness taking root.

That God is big enough to truly absorb our hurt.

That letting some things slide as we choose to focus on others is wise.

That much is won through great patience.

That If we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us.

That we can not control other people, they will ultimately make decisions for themselves.

That certain victories will only be earned through tedious, tiresome, persevering at all costs faithfulness.

That love doesn't always come easy, there are times when it must be slowly sculpted from nothing but a willing heart.

That sometimes the road is long, and dark, troublesome and winding, and night seems to stretch out before us endlessly and we grow faint of heart.

That eventually, when our tears have stained our pillows and our hope is nearly lost, morning finally dawns, and our joy emerges anew, fresh and fragrant.

So, we carry on.....
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Beckysblog said...

well that was awesome and made me feel normal.

Holly said...

I kind of want to work on getting this framed.

Lisa Stucky said...

Thank you. That so resonates with how I feel/ think. Love your honesty, insight, wisdom.

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

Beautiful. True. Transparent.


:) :) :)

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