Family photo 2013

Family photo 2013

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Sisters and brothers and brothers and sisters

Growing up in a broken home inextricably takes a toll on a child's heart. As a young girl, I always took note of the rich warmth and unwavering sense of stability that some of my friend's families seemed to possess. My mother worked 2 jobs, both days and nights, and I rarely visited my father beyond the first year following my parent's divorce, so there were many, many (many!) hours I spent alone. Add to that, Bobby and I each have only brothers, 4 and 6 years older - none of which are married - which means I have no sisters, nor sister in laws to this day. My family tree isn't exactly extensive, to say the least.

From time to time people have asked why I chose to have a large family. I believe it is, in essence, living out the age old adage parents hope to give their children more than they ever had. My husband felt the much same way, that he would like his kids to grow up close in age and thick as thieves with their siblings, which is the primary reason our children by birth are all a year and a half apart.

Perhaps to make up for what we feel we did not gain in our own childhoods, we have filled our home with messy people, entering our lives in succession, one right after another. There is a flurry of activity within these walls most given moments. Someone is nearly always home. Food is nearly always cooking. Friends are (nearly ☺) always welcome. Day in day out, the table is set for 9 with room for more. Books are read aloud, games are played, movies are watched, children are prayed over, tucked in snuggly at night (when the parents sing the chorus of angels, Hallelujah!).

It is a sacrifice to raise family whose size fits somewhere beyond the limits of typical, yes. There is much work to be done. It can be costly, in a variety of ways that are not merely financial. It would be a stretch to say I, as the mother, always thrive on a personal level. My stomach ulcer can most notably attest to that reality.

But despite the hardships and the toil and the strain, it is my exquisite joy. Our home is abuzz, bursting with laughter and tears and happiness and sorrow and jokes and quarrels and tension and affection and flaws and gifts and hugs and stinginess and abundance and sharing and making do with what we've got and trespasses and forgiveness and willingness and clarity that above all one thing is most blessedly true: sometimes difficult, usually lovely, always stunningly precious, life happens here.

My babies have brothers and sisters and sisters and brothers.

They have assuredness their parents love and value each other.

And I have all I have ever wanted.


Brianna Heldt said...

So, so beautiful Tisha. As an only child I often found myself attracted to friends whose families were on the bigger side--there was always so much LIFE in those homes! And, I loved it. As a kid I had a great relationship with my parents and believe I developed some really good values and qualities growing up as an only child, but there was always something special about those families with lots of kids. And now as an adult I do find myself wishing I'd had siblings. I believe brothers and sisters are such a gift to one another. Anyway, I loved reading this. Thanks so much for sharing!

Mandy said...

oh, i love this. so much. thanks for sharing.

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