This last year has proven a definite turning point for you. Ever so slightly, exceedingly slowly, and with painstaking caution, you have begun to open up to us and expose parts of your heart, share the deep wounds you carry with you, and step into yourself...a little bit. Usually one to stay far toward the peripheral edge, a watchful observer more than an active participant of life, you are starting to inch your way forward. But I can see, it is difficult for you. The temptation is always there for you, as you gather the courage to take a stride forward, to fall victim to fear and anxiety, then retreat, immobile, paralyzed.
I am so very proud of you, brave girl. For moving ahead. For learning how to find yourself, the sad little girl who was left behind to find a home with strangers, only to have to do it yet again, acceptable, lovable, valuable. For continually working hard toward the goal of rightfully esteeming yourself worthy. Because you are. All that has happened to you, the unfortunate lot you've been handed, the trials and pain and separation and loss and trauma you have endured are not your fault. Your story is such a lot for a young thing to shoulder. My heart breaks for yours.
Know this: You are beautiful and boundless and breathtaking and strong and resilient and wonderfully made.
Worthiness belongs to you, my sweet and tender hearted Meadow. It is yours to breathe in, to drink up, to own. I will do my best to help you claim it.
I love you. I will not give up on you. Unless the Lord calls me home, I will never leave you. And if He does, I will wait for you, side by side with your first mommy.
Happy 9th birthday,
Mom
1 comment:
precious. you and her.
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