What makes a good one?

Parenting. It's the oldest profession in the books, right? No, wait a second. It's a byproduct of the oldest profession. Anyhoo, it's a really, really old profession. Except that it doesn't technically count as a profession at all. My bank account can attest. 

After reading this article I started laughing out loud that a question as utterly rude and enormously ignoramus as this could land in a piece directed at the Chargers quarterback and soon-to-be father of seven, Philip Rivers: Six kids? Regardless of your profession, it's impossible to be a good parent to six kids. Not enough hours in the day. -- From TheBigLead.com comments

Um, really?

Wowza. 

I have so much to say about this, friends. Sooooooooooo much. You would grow weary reading as I listed out the virtual smorgasbord of countless reasons I am not a good parent that have nothing whatsoever to do with the number of children I have. 

So, I took the question straight to the experts, the kids themselves. Those who happen to reside in a family of more than a couple wee little crumb snatchers and a handful of in be-tweens. I asked them, "What makes a good parent?"

This is, word for precious word, what they had to say: 

Flint: A good parent takes care of you.

Clover: A good parent takes you fun places like parks and pools. They let us try out new things. They run around in the snow with us and help us make snow igloos.

Stryder: A good parent tucks you in at night and feeds you good food.

Meadow: A good parent gets you everything you need and spends time with you doing stuff together.

Tyden: Most importantly, a good parent feeds you. They give you a house. They give you clothes. They give you toys. They give you birthday gifts. They gave me a fish, but nobody else got one. They give us beds. They give us Legos. They give us Ramen noodles. And they let us take wood and build it into stuff. I made a birdhouse out of wood, but it wasn't very good. They give us hugs and kisses and smoochies. They do some nutty stuff like play tickle monster and have snowball fights and dance and have a contest to see who can run and slide through the house in their socks the furthest. They take us skating and bowling and to Build A Bear and every time they ever do that it's always a surprise. And they take us to the YMCA and we get to work out there and we get to swim and they let us try new foods. A good parent takes us to McDonald's and takes us to a park all the time and lets us play the computer and gives us chocolate. 

Onyx: A good parent lets you climb on the hay bales when the grass is getting cut. They give you birthdays and surprise you with birthday gifts. They teach you and they give you stuff to eat and they take you to fun places and they tuck you in at night. 

Jayla: A good parent feeds us foods we can benefit from, gives us a high education, teaches us how to be responsible with money and all we have. A good parent always, no matter what, loves you with all their heart. 

There you have it, folks. 

I guess most of us larger than average brood families are doing pretty darn alright after all. That is if you ask our poor, neglected charges...

I was shocked. "Your mother acting like a pirate as she cuts birthday cake" didn't make the list.