Family photo 2013

Family photo 2013

Saturday, November 09, 2013

Draw a nest.

I just learned of a therapeutic technique where you give participants simple instructions to "draw a nest." I figured I could gauge the mental health of my flock by having them perform the exercise. We can't afford family therapy, so I was forced to interpret the results myself. Here they are:
This a nest in a tree with eggs in it. I didn't put a mommy because I don't like drawing birds. ~Jayla

Professional assessment: The cocoon like structure of the tree shows that Jayla feels secure in her environment. The lack of leaves on the tree proves she is parched and must drink copious amounts of H2O in order to flourish.

There were 3 birds. One was a baby, and its momma was gone hunting. The blue bird laid 3 eggs. The brown one's momma abandoned it then it grew up and laid 2 eggs and it's about to lay another egg. ~ Stryder

Assessment: Stryder *obviously* has significant abandonment issues and fears being left alone to painfully lay eggs on his own because of the many hours his mother spends away from the home. He is jealous of more spacious nests where mommies remain with their children and provide adequate care. He is likely to become heavily addicted to diet coke with a twist of lime which will undoubtedly lead to the need for an aspartame intervention.
The baby bird is learning how to fly and the tweety momma bird is watching. They are the only ones who live in the tree but sometimes a squirrel comes, but the squirrel is not in the picture. The squirrel tried to take the baby's eggs but the momma didn't let him because she went wham! ~Tyden

Assessment: Tyden is suppressing the undeniable urge to use swear words to convey that his momma is a bada$$ squirrel beating mother bleeper. He will likely soon be diagnosed with turrets syndrome.
There is a momma blue bird (that's you) then there are baby birds, me, Jayla and Onyx and dad. The stuff on the tree is what the blue birds wrote on it. ~Clover

Assessment: Clover resents the other 4 children in her family and wishes she were eternally the baby of 3. The fact that she did not choose Meadow or Flint for her family displays the deep seated prejudice she holds against African kids. If she were to become incarcerated, she would unmistakably join the Aryan Supremacist Gang where she would proudly display a jail house swastika tattoo on her right bicep.
The bird in the nest is the momma bird and she is just leaving the nest to go get some food. The papa bird is getting a worm for the baby birds. The flying bird is trying to get the fish. ~Flint

Assessment: Flint's nest suspended in the ocean proves he must learn to become a more proficient swimmer in order to survive. The vertical fish diving straight up out of the water shows he needs further instruction in science class where it will become crystal clear to him that fish live in the water. The worm attached to the papa's bird's face? Well, that's just fresakishly weird.
The blue is the pond and it has a rock to keep it from leaking out into the grass. The momma bird lives in the tree and she has 3 eggs and she is laying on the eggs. ~Meadow

Assessment: Meadow feels her momma needs to get her lazy behind off the eggs and out into the world to bring home some tasty worm sections which she will chew up and regurgitate into the baby birds' mouthes. The rock could lose footing any time exposing the tree to damaging flooding, so increasing the home's insurance policy to provide a substantial sense of security is a must. 
Mine is a bird house with an egg in it. ~Bobby

Assessment: Bobby's nest residing in a carefully constructed home and his use of dimension exemplifies his exorbitant obsession with building pretty houses in his "spare" time.
Oops! I forgot to draw a sun. The eggs are blue because the momma bird was a blue bird. They live in a pine tree, in case you can't tell. The momma is out looking for food. ~Onyx

Assessment: Onyx's use of a pine tree for the birds' nest shows his prickly nature and ensures he will probably never find a suitable wife. The lack of sunshine further demonstrates his over powering dark side. The blue eggs for the blue bird represents a firm grasp on reproductive principles and proves he should major in biology and eventually earn his living as a practicing OBGYN. 

We are all kinds of messed up (!)

The End. 

2 comments:

Erika Stanley said...

Bwahahaha! I'll send my kid's pictures to you for your professional analysis! I can't wait.

Holly said...

this. was. hilarious.

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