Family photo 2013

Family photo 2013

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I do.


Bob got called to back to work last night, after just returning home from work (late) and we had already eaten dinner and there was the mess on the floor that follows a meal, and I was trying to help Jayla with her homework, plus do the dishes, and Clover cried every time I put her down, and they boys were antsy, and I felt that familiar feeling I feel at some point most every day: overwhelmed. Which then of course leads to self-pity. Poor poor me and all my needy needy children. Oh how needy I am. Needy for more hands. Waaa. Waaa. Waaa.
This is just on the heels of my poor-pitiful weekend which allowed me absolutely no rest whatsoever. Yeah right.

Then, this morning, I turn on the computer and read about the drought in Ethiopia, threatening the lives of millions of children. Millions of loved children whose parents can do nothing to stop it.

Tears fill my eyes as I read.

Then they start flowing down to the keyboard.

And I am so sorry.

I am so so sorry.

I am sorry that it is incredibly challenging for me to maintain perspective and that I allow my mind to become cluttered with pettiness.

I am sorry that I forget that I should be on my knees in prayer every singl day saying Thank you Lord. Thank you Lord. Thank you Lord.

As I sit here to type this with my cup of coffee, my children are snacking on Goldfish crackers, coming over to the fridge (and pulling out a new cup) every time they want a drink of water. Pork chops and rice are in the crock pot for supper. I do not have to wonder if we will have enough to survive today. We will. Today, I do not have to experience the pain of not having clean water to drink. My children can and will eat and drink to their heart's content. They too will complain about the insignificant and forget to be grateful. They have that luxury.

I am sorry that I would ever, even for a moment take for granted my enormous blessings and complain about the work involved in preparing and cleaning meals. I am sorry that I consistently forget that I did nothing worthy of being born American where excess is a normality.

I am making an effort to change my ways and turn my heart from one of greed to one of unyielding gratitude, but I fall back and fail at this all the time. What I can do this day is give to those who need (via UNICEF), and praise God for our extreme wealth and privilege with thankfulness that I have the opportunity to continue to grow in this area.

1 comment:

Holly said...

ooooo....this has SOOO been me lately.
God is using a different group of people in my life to bring me to my 'senses' and realize how small I make my world. (sex trafficking of little girls)
it's a big world. lots of people to speak up for, give to, love on.

I have had a 'snapping out of it' streak! I don't want it to end either.

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