Family photo 2013

Family photo 2013

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

It's so good, I almost feel guilty.

Stryder is with his grandparents. He spent the night there last night, and has been there all day today. They said they would keep him until Friday.

Today has been unbelievably different that usual. I am, in fact, a normal person.
I am not a headache riddled, exacerbated, overwhelmed, fatigued mom, doubting my sanity every 60 seconds. My intensity level is low. I'm a regular *old* normal kind of mom. The kind that can handle her life. The kind that feels competent in dealing with her *normal* children. There has been such a small amount of screaming today, I hardly know what to do with the quietness that these 4 children bring.
I am beginning to understand how important times like this are for me. Times when I can "reconnect with myself." This art of mothering, having babies every year and a half has transformed me. Mostly in very good ways for which I am thankful. But the truth is it also sometimes makes me not recognize myself. Who is this woman that is so on edge, I wonder as I look in the mirror? When did this become me? I've always been structured, yes. But I used to be pretty fun too. When one child goes through a phase which elevates the stress level for extended periods of time, the fun person I want to be gets harder and harder to find and the one that utters "Lord help me" all day long comes to the forefront.

Thank God for His goodness to me and for wonderful family who is willing to step in and lend a helping hand. The kids' grandparents are priceless in our lives. Their support means more to us than I can express. It's deeply encouraging to my heart to have time to feel myself relax. I do know these toddler days will pass, but while in the midst of them it can be a true relief to catch a break, and my breath, and realize that all is not lost for this used-to-be-a-fun-person named Tisha. My sweet Stryder is in good hands and will soon return to mine, and I am glad for both.


Courtney said...

what a blessing! enjoy today...and enjoy getting him back tomorrow!

Holly said...

oh! I breath a little deeper reading this, I'M NOT ALONE!!! Someone else feels 'not so normal' when in the presences of their toddler! Enjoy your break!
I have one coming very very soon...I'm already packing!

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