The skinny of it.

My Bible study kicks up again tonight for the fall.
For the past several months, I only had one pair of (larger than normal) jeans that fit. Being the fashion icon that I am, last semester during the spring, for the Bible study, I wore that one pair of jeans every single week. (I did wash them in between, that's at least good.) My smaller pairs that I could not yet wear hung in the closet.
Over the summer, I wore capri pants, and shorts, left the big jeans in my dresser and the small jeans in the closet.
I pulled them out of my closet and tried them on today, to see if I could wear them tonight. They fit.
Normally, I would do a little dance. Shout to the Lord praises for weight loss and all that. Point out to myself how svelte and trim I appear as I gaze in the mirror.
Today, I don't even care.
What has happened to me??
All this time thinking about food with regard to those who just don't have enough of it has me seeing things in a whole new light. How can I complain about a few extra pounds anymore? I don't think I can. I used to all the time. Losing my baby weight has been a major focus in my life after every single baby until this one.
I'll wear my "skinny" jeans tonight and I'll think about those ladies who have no choice but to be "skinny" and I just can not appreciate it the way I used to.
I'm all in a twist.
I feel ruined.
But I don't think I ever want to go back.