Family photo 2013

Family photo 2013

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

If I appear at all patient....

in this adoption process, it's only because I will soon have 7 young ones between the ages of 2-8. I'm not in an ultra big hurry ☺
Oh yes, I love Meadow and Flint! And the rest of those little crumb snatchers also. (I even like them sometimes too.) I am also painfully aware of my own limitations and weaknesses and am quite certain a red cape exists nowhere in my wardrobe. My responsibility is about to increase in a very real, very significant way.

I recently realized the years of birth breakdown for the children:
2001, 2003, 2004, 2 in 2005, 2006, 2007. Whoa baby.
This is going to require some extreme parenting. Plus, M & F are 4 and almost 5. Not babies. Old enough to have opinions about all this, and memories and real grief, and who knows what else??? Things could get quite rough and bumpy for all of us. That's just the reality.

So, slow and steady, slow and steady, with plenty of deep breathing (and a ready supply of sugary sweets on hand) surrendering it ALL to God, asking that His will be done, not my own is how I'm endeavoring to proceed. I believe it's the only way I'll be any good to any of us. Not too high with the highs, not too low with the lows...

Trust, trust, trust. That word keeps coming to mind. I have prayed that we would not push through any doors that were not widely, graciously opened by God. I trust that He knows what He is doing here. I want for each one of us what He wants for each one of us, exactly and precisely. Oh Lord, my Lord, give me Your agenda, let me lay my own aside.

(Also high on the priority list is making a concerted effort to keep my ability to laugh, a sense of humor. May come in handy.)

I am aware my responses are perhaps somewhat atypical. I see the way other people go through the process. I know how I should be behaving, speaking.

I feel thankful. Very humbled. Honored. Privileged. Nervous. Unworthy. Sad for much. Wholly, wholly reliant.

Thank you for listening, for being there. For allowing me to be honest.
Now, off to have some fun today with the kids I often like ♥

1 comment:

Courtney said...

loved so much of what you said here...reread a lot of your thoughts.

love "not too high with the highs and not too low with the lows"


and i can relate to being able to laugh more...

thanks for sharing your heart!

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