I keep thinking about her. The one who was unable to raise her baby girl, Masso. What would she want me to do? How would she want me to respond, reassure, nurture, comfort, correct, guide?I pretty much feel like a terrible, second string, sub par, ill-equipped, under-qualified replacement.
The teaching opportunities will come in time, with more extensive, interactive, verbal communication. I'm hopeful the ability to have an actual conversation one day will help. It has to.
We girls do like to talk.
Not feeling great about that last post.
Not sure how to handle this.
Trying not to lose my joy, to grow weary in well doing.
Desiring to be a good example, to bring glory to God.
Feeling like I'm failing at that too.
There is a blizzard here today. The man of the house is out working in it.
The kids and I are going to try a movie marathon.
They are full of energy this morning so we'll see how it goes....
4 comments:
Don't feel sub-par. You are not! Just admitting it shows what a TERRIFIC Momma you truly are! (((HUGS)))
Tisha, I know that I'm not in your shoes and just for the record I could not fit in them anyways. You are an amazing women who does not need me to tell you...but I'm going to anyway. I read your blog everyday and wonder how in the world those kids got to be so blessed by being put in your family. God is so good. You are an amazing women who is thinking about the "being" of your kiddo way more than some parents think about thier own bio kids. I don't know and will never meet "HER MOTHER" but I know what I would think if I was in her shoes. Thank you!! Thank you for loving her even when she is not lovable. Thank you for being the one who comforts her even when its you who needs the comfort.
You are rocking it girl.
Your shoes are way big right now and your load is huge. I pray for you all the time knowing that God will send you the extra comfort, extra patience, and the know how to do what you need to do to get through these tough days.
XOXO
Your prayer partner,
Monica
Monica and Gretchen,
Thank you. You have no idea how much I do need to hear it! Woooweee...mama D. is in over her head! Yowzer. I'm a little fragile right now.
It's ok - we're making our way - forging our path through unknown territory - God is faithful - I trust there will be good, good fruit - in due season. This is a time to sow. And I've never planted this type of seed before so I don't know what I'm doing.
I get lost in my day sometimes. So much goes on in 24 hours.
To hear from you, those words of encouragment, that kindness, those prayers, oh my. They mean more to me than you could know.
Thank you for taking the time to read, to write back. I know you are busy. Many, many blessings to you.
You will be fine. I wrote a post similar to this too... the biggest thing that gets us I think is when we feel guilt because we are not yet *there* in the love department and we feel terrible for that when we think of the first moms. It just takes time, it really does. And God gives us plenty of grace. I often tell B, tomorrow is a brand new day. I tell myself that too... one more day to aim to be the kind of mom I want to be and the kind of mom my kids need and deserve.
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