Do you believe, that because the Bible says to be fruitful and multiply and that children are a blessing from the Lord, that every married couple is to abstain from using birth control as to not restrict child bearing?
Anyone brave enough to answer? ☺ I'm very interested in your thoughts, whatever they may be!
Family photo 2013
21 comments:
i have way more questions than answers:
- adam and eve were told to be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth. does that necessarily apply to us as well? or are there other verses that suggest such?
- if so, have we filled the earth yet? at what point have we, as the human race, been successful and obedient to that command?
- where does the bible say that children are a blessing? i know lots of places that say "sons" are a blessing, and some of those use the word children (after male offspring have been named) to modify the word sons. there probably is a place children in general are called blessings, i just don't know it.
i forgot these:
- is it possible to multiply and fill the earth while still using birth control?
- what constitutes as "birth control?" is having sex once a week rather than three times birth control? does having sex during certain times of the month (and not others) count as birth control?
JamesBrett, are you trying to be like Jesus answering a question with a (lot of) question(s)?
:)
Psalm 127: 3 Children are a heritage from the LORD,
offspring a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.
I have a feeling I *may* understand what you're getting at. Thanks!
This is a question I have been pondering a LOT lately!! I would love to know the answer when you figure it out. LOL
My only reasons for using "birth control" are quite selfish and based on the accepted norms of western civilization. My children are a blessings and I am so grateful for them....and yet I hesitate to have more. Perhaps I am afraid to learn the truth. If I am honest, I believe birth control is not God's perfect plan. You have not shared YOUR thoughts on this topic....I would love to know what you think. That's why I'm reading your blog after all :)
Thank you Heather! I am thrilled to hear your perspective!
I will share mine too. Thanks for asking. Soon. :)
I'm not brave enough... :)
Tisha, first I must say it was a pleasure to meet you and your family last Sunday. What a treat to put flesh and blood to the images I have seen and to interact with you for just a brief moment.
As to your question, I have to answer "No". I believe that God has gifted each person uniquely and that there are some people/couples who are much better equipped to birth and raise more children than others. I am not one who feels any sort of desire to have more children, nor is my husband. My husband never thought he would even have kids and yet now that we do considers our children to be a wonderful blessing to us. Yet, our capacity, both as individuals and as a couple, is at it's limit with two.
I believe that you have the heart and opportunity to touch and interact with people that I don't and vice versa because of the dynamics of our families and our work/career choices. In every area God has a plan for us - including children, whether that means some are denied the opportunity to marry to even have the opportunity to have a child to those who are "fertile Myrtles", if you will, and able to have multiple children and adopt additional. What is most important is that we are each listening for and searching out what God's plan is for our lives and living that plan to it's fullest. To that end, I am convicted that each day could be lived with more commitment to being "sold out" for Jesus and living unashamed of the Gospel.
Those are my thoughts for what it's worth.
Merry Christmas to you and your family!
My parents thought that way. ;) It was the way of the church that they grew up in and we grew up in. However, that church had a TON of very messed up theology and at the heart was extremely legalistic and also believed very strange things that kind of make it almost a cult. (they are the only "saved" ones among other things). Even though it was a tiny Lutheran sect. Ha Hs.
My parents don't necessarily believe that way anymore (and have left that church, thank the Lord.) though my mom still gets her panties in a twist if she hears of one of her children using birth control of any form aside from Natural Family Planning.
That said, I will say that my answer is NO, I don't think the WORD is saying have as many children as nature allows. I think it is saying Children are a blessing and blessed is he whose quiver is full of them. Go forth and multiply. Yes. But multiply to however many you are called to... use the noggin the creator gave you, and together with your partner, pray and seek how God wants you to build your family. I do believe some are called to do as my parents did... as many as God gives ya, no planning of any kind involved (not even natural family planning). Others are not equipped. It is a gift given to some and not to others.
If my husband could handle it, I'd love to have a houseful. But he cannot. And I understand the mental limitations that run in his family and the anxiety that runs in his family and the lack of (the gift) of being able to handle life and many kids. So I am compromising. I am hoping to squeeze 4 out of him. Don't tell him though, he thinks number 3 is it.
I think it is dependent upon the case at hand. I always thought I would have many children. I then married a man that only wanted 2. God made us compromise and gave us twins the second time around. AND, with those twins having the special needs they have, I am glad that we had a tubal ligation. I feel that it was an inspired decision and that we have what we are able to handle.
Tisha I think you already know my thoughts :), but yes I do believe it's wrong to use artificial birth control (anything besides NFP). Essentially the idea that if you are having sex, you should be open to life (thus if you prayerfully decide it's not a good month to conceive, you abstain.)
I believe this because I believe the historic Roman Catholic teaching that God created sexuality to be wrapped up with procreation. The theology behind it is so rich and beautiful, NOT legalistic or nonsensical. And I think even natural law would say that something is wrong when people are taking hormones, surgically altering their God-given bodies, or using barriers to prevent the gift that God ALWAYS calls good.
I believe it because the Catholic Church teaches it, and the Protestant church taught it too up until the 1940s or so when they abandoned it...in favor of buying into the culture with the advent of the pill. All you have to do is read any of Margaret Sanger's writings to see what the ideas actually were behind artificial birth control: ridding society of minorities and the poor. Ugh.
Read "Covenanted Happiness" by Cormac Burke--EXcellent book. One of my all-time favorites. If you ever want to talk more about openness to life, I'd love to! An interesting topic to be sure. (On a side-note, it's an excellent example of a place where the Bible doesn't explicitly spell something out, but Church Tradition reflects the beliefs that the Church (and until recently, church in general) has always believed.)
Sorry for the long comment! If it made no sense, just read "Covenanted Happiness", it's great! :)
Lindy - haha! I'm pretty darn sure I know your feeling on this anyway. ;-)
Joan - thank you for your response! It was wonderful to meet you too! I believe you make an excellent point about you having access to reach some I would not, and vise versa because of our choices and the place we each are in our lives. That is worth noting.
Holly - thank you! I also appreciate your feedback as a child of parents who have been there! Such an interesting perspective you have because of your experience.
Stephanie - thank you! You also have a unique point of view because of your sweet, special girlies! I am really glad you commented. Thank you again.
Brianna - thank you! Again, another interesting vantage point from which to look at this topic! I love the way you share your heart about this and the way you look at and love children.
I just wanted to add one other thing; as a personal choice we did not use any form of birth control besides NFP, I used the pill for one year and felt convicted not to anymore for a myriad of reasons. So we used NFP for the next 7 years and very purposefully during our adoption processes. Of course, it all seems really silly now that we found out we will most likely never conceive due to severe male factor IF, all those times we abstained w/out need to. Such is life sometimes.
So, Holly, maybe couples DO, in fact, endeavor to avoid pregnancy while in the adoption process?! Wow! Amazing! Ha! ;-) Thank you. I appreciate the validation. :)
tisha, i do wish i were more like Jesus. but that's not really what i was doing. i really have those questions. and i'm not so much trying to "get" at something. i do lean towards birth control not being sin.
[and it's been a few years since i took hebrew -- and i'm certainly no expert -- but i believe the words in your psalms text actually mean son and sons, not children. i'm not sure if we've assumed the blessing applies to daughters or if hebrew necessitates it.]
Mr. Harrison, I do appreciate your questions. Very much. :) And, I agree that they are good thoughts! Especailly with regard to the command being for Adam and Eve (not for us?) to fill the earth - and asking when that can be considered adequately accomplished. And, the idea that "birth control" can also be used to discuss the regularity of sexual contact among a married couple.
As far as it being sons or children in the Bible - do you think it really matters? That God would say that girls are not a blessing to their parents? Couldn't the word "sons" be due to culture and era because of the patriarchal standpoint from which the Bible was written?
I don't know...just thoughts I have.
ok. just getting here. haven't read your newest post yet.
i don't KNOW for sure.
i also believe that there is no RIGHT or WRONG.
i think it's on a case by case, family by family basis.
there are families that i KNOW could not handle more children. do we just have them to have them? or are we truly parenting them and giving each one what he/she needs? we DO have limits!
and then there are families that have decided NOT to have more and you know it's just purely selfish.
but, then, HE will give us what we need...even if we don't think we can, right??
tricky.
i have no answers. clearly :-)
but didn't want to be "silent".
you are brave!
you're right, tisha, i don't think for a second that daughters are not blessings from God. i have a daughter and she's one of the very best gifts God has ever given me, or ever will.
so, no, i don't think it matters that / if the old testament says sons are a blessing (instead of all children).
i was just throwing out all the questions i have concerning your initial question. i figure if there's a possibility we're going to decide it's sin to use birth control based on the bible saying two things, we should make sure the bible actually says those two things, in those exact terms, and that they apply to us. that's all i was really meaning.
and i hope it didn't come across as rude. my initial reaction when i hear "the bible says" is to look and see if it actually does. i'm not suggesting girls are not blessings from God, nor am i questioning your honesty.
in this case, i think we can safely assume that all children are blessings, male or female. but i'm not sure we can read "be fruitful and multiply" without including the term "and fill the earth." that seems to be the reason for the multiplication.
Hey there Tisha. I have been wanting to comment on this, but have nothing very intelligent to say. In theory, I would love to have a "houseful", but for lots of reasons I won't go into here, that is not our reality.
I read the other post too, the one where you shared what led to this question and I don't know if you read Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis, but he talks about our faith being brickology (sp?) vs a trampoline and it seems that for some this issue is a brick; while I myself see this as a gray area, I definitely do not see it as a brick. I loved JamesBrett's question about was it to just Adam and Eve or to all of us. So often it seems we take things totally out of context, and perhaps this is one of those times????
I could go on and on here, b/c taking verses out of context is a pet peeve of mine, but I better just stop. Thanks for the very thought provoking question. Love those kind!!! :-)
Thank you Jennifer - I like that analogy. It seems that this topic IS a brick wall for some, a trampoline for others.
Brett - you did not come across as rude. I do believe you brought up excellent considerations - ones I had not thought about before, so I appreciate that.
Truthfully, I can often not tell when you are being snarky and when you are serious - So I kind of try to guess...
tisha, if you continue posting interesting thoughts on your blog (and comments on mine), you'll eventually learn when i'm snarky and when i'm serious...
by the way, you do a great job on your blog.
Chemical contraception is abortifacient, and abortion is wrong; it sins against life, against the Holy Spirit. Other forms of artificial contraception are also wrong. See the story of Onan's sin with Tamar. However, sexual continence based on natural periods of fertility respect nature, the bodies and relationships of spouses, openness to life (a gift, not a right) and authentic freedom. This makes natural family planning permissible and a wonderful way to manage the welcoming of children.
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