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Time has a way of constantly changing things. For better and worse, it takes the puzzle pieces of our lives and reshapes, rearranges, reconstructs them over and over again.

Some of the changes are subtle, the slightest shift, gradual, merciful to our souls, gently loosening our fingers that are reluctant to let go. Others are jolting. They take us by surprise, rattle us to the core. Walls we once thought solid and secure, ones we have so carefully and purposefully built up, come crashing down in an instant, abrupt, harsh, devastating, cruel.

Bobby's grandma always says, "you just never know what a day will bring." It's true, we don't. We are all vulnerable to the hands of time and the consequences of its movement.

As I look back, I think about the way my life has been played out over the years, how it has been sculpted. If I had only one regret it would be that I wish I had realized how truly special each chapter was, how quickly it would pass, how suddenly it would vanish, be set aside and replaced by something new which would hold its slot. The process repeating itself time and time again, relentlessly ushering in the new, emerging seasons.

I would have rejoiced more in the days, focused on the abundant good around me rather than what I was striving for, looking toward, desiring - Next. I would have lived more fully, those early years when we were just married and our hearts were wide open, full of adventure and promise. I would have treasured the nights with my new baby girl, slept during the day when she slept, allowed myself to rest, worry less about whether I was getting it right. I would have been easier with people, my parents, my friends, my children, my husband, less idealistic, more realistic, freely forgiving, offering grace, softer.
I would have given myself the same benevolence I should have copiously extended to others, been a truer friend to myself, kinder, expecting only what is genuine.

Recognizing that I will never fully arrive, that things are ever changing, that my days are vanishing away as I live them, I would have expressed gratitude, tremedous awe at each step of this truly amazing journey, whether that step be for the better or worse.

I would have looked up, smiled, and whispered "thank you" much, much more.