Meadow and Flint

...are

...going

...to

...SCHOOL!
At our local public school. Where the staff have been incredibly warm and helpful and accommodating and informative and understanding of our situation. I am praying the other children are equally as welcoming as Meadow and Flint represent exactly half of the African American population (yes, there are a whole 2 other students who share their skin color). And, yes, we indeed live in a rural, white bread community.

They are officially enrolled, excited and have new backpacks full of school supplies.

I am officially breathing a sigh of relief. The thought of regular respite and the relinquishment of my role of "teacher" to them for a while is encouraging to my soul. For now, I need to be mom. Only mom.

As you may know, we have been toying with the idea of placing them in school for quite some time. I have been back and forth - again and again. Home educating them has held its own unique set of challenges and obstacles. I no longer enjoyed it like I once did. Yet, I was reluctant. We are a homeschooling family. It's a lifestyle, one that I very much treasure, not just a method of academic education.

But, I had to admit it was taking a toll on me, as well as on the other kids because Meadow and Flint always ended up absorbing such a great deal of my time and energy leaving me drained and frustrated. How many of our school sessions ended negatively with no lack of exasperation on all fronts? Too many....

They each have a few learning difficulties that I found extremely tough to work with. I know they could feel my frustration. Our "school" interaction became one that was not conducive to learning. I believe the professionals who will evaluate and assess them, and pick up right where they are at helping them develop the skills they need to be able to assimilate information (learn!) will do a much better job than myself at this point.

The relationships between myself and Meadow, and myself and Flint need to take priority. This is our number one concern for this time.

It's not easy, but I'm trying very hard to chose not to look at this as a failure on my part and instead accept my human limitations. It has been a lot to take on what we have in the past year and a half that they have been home. We have come a long way. They have learned so much. I have learned so much. We have all changed. Not always for the better on my part, but I'm willing to step back at this time, humble myself, and say "I need some help." Thankfully, there are people ready and willing to do just that. I believe we will all be better for it....

So, bring on that big yellow bus! ☺