Family photo 2013

Family photo 2013

Thursday, June 21, 2012

10 Shades of Not For Me

Confession: I began reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  It was for basically two reasons.

#1 Typically, when someone tells me I should not do something, it makes me want to do it that much more.

#2 Typically, when someone tells me I should not do something it makes me want to do it that much more.

I was anxious to see what all the fuss was about! So many people were ardently speaking out against the trilogy, warning us of what we ought to avoid. For the ultra conservative population, this {obviously} is nothing new when it comes to literature. Banning and burning books is hardly a novel notion. If we keep people from seeing what they clearly should not see, from knowing what they clearly should not know, from exposure to what they clearly should not be exposed, we will spare them from themselves. They will thank us.  Censorship - such a gift given to society. Because we, as humankind are hopelessly inept at using our own minds and hearts to determine what is good and profitable for ourselves. If I were to count the hours our family has spent, curled up on the couch reading what were once banned books, it would add up to many. It's a mighty short trek from banned to classic. To me, it all seems so completely subjective.

It is with this mindset that I dove into Fifty Shades of Grey. By the time I get down to reading my own selections, it is usually late at night after I have read (banned books ☺) to the children, and I am dreadfully tired. So, as the story unfolded, it took me a few days to get to The Part. That One Part that made me decide that there are other things I would rather do with my extremely-limited-oh-so-precious-time-to-myself. Not that I hold any judgement for 50 Shades fans. I do not. I honestly believe that it's no coincidence married, middle aged women are devouring it. Life and responsibilities and child bearing and child rearing and mortgages and aging bodies and sickness and health and thousands of days and nights together tends to take a certain level of toll. I can understand ladies wanting a little pick me up! I have friends, very happily married women, who attest that reading a juicy novel every now and again is good for them, and good for their husbands. I will not argue.

All I can say is that what honestly revs my engine more than any book has, is my real life, flesh and blood, honest to goodness husband. No joke. After more than 16 years together, this man has seen it all. He knows me like none other. Side by side, right along with me, he experiences The Daily. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the breathtaking, the sorrowful, the disappointing, the triumphant. What is worthy of honor. What brings shame. The devastating, the elating, the bitter, the sweet. Hard earned vicotries. Moments of defeat. They are all blessedly Ours.

More and more, through the years, as life unpackages itself in ways we never could have anticipated, he sees me. And he truly loves me. Exposed. As I really am. With all my flaws. This capable, intelligent, humble, hard working, handsome, generous, perfectly imperfect man chose to interweave his entire existence with mine. He places high priority on doing his best to ensure I have all I could need or want. Year after year, his actions demonstrate his devotion. Laying it all on the line, he trusts me with his heart. With all the parts of his life. He has unreservedly given me everything he has to offer. I don't take it lightly.

It all makes me kind of weak in the knees.

This road we are walking together, made up of our every day existence, is one brilliant shade of smoldering hot. ♥

Opening his many Father's Day cards.

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