Family photo 2013

Family photo 2013

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

If you don't have anything good to say...

Maybe that's what's kept me from writing anything down here for more than a week. It's not that there aren't good things happening. There definitely are. We've had some great family fun. Overall though, life has been kind of a drag. Well, maybe not a drag. A grind. No, not a grind. A challenge. Yes, a challenge. That sounds better. (But really, it's been a drag.  A totally grinding drag. ☺)

As you know, we lost our sweet puppy that I couldn't get enough of. All we have left of him are memories and a {massive} vet bill that could have been used for so.many.other.things. if we weren't going to have our dog anyway. Yes, I know life is precious. And money is just money. It comes, it goes. Which is why we spent the necessary $ trying to save our precious dog! But the truth is, we are a family of 9 on one income with a very hardworking man of the house and losing that kind of cash for naught (WHILE mourning the loss of our dog) is not easy for us. It all seems like such a waste. My Arrow. I miss him so much. Every day. Every hour. I miss him. I dream about him all the time. In my dreams, he is alive. Running. Sleeping near me.  And when I wake up, he's still gone. I really hate that.

He died on a Saturday morning and on Monday afternoon we received a call from Bob's grandma asking if we would be willing to take their dog (who actually used to be our dog for about 3 months, 10+ years ago, before we found out he was baaaaaaad with babies. Snippy!) Grandma and grandpa aren't really in a position to care for him any longer and it was a relief to them to hand him over. Nice enough dog. But certainly not my dog. So, we let the kids have the dog (who is still bad with babies, which isn't so much a problem anymore, as we have no babies in the house. {Drag!}) They are doing a great job and we are working to break this very old dog of his naughty little wet-in-the-house habit. He also needs some serious vet care. Bob's parents are graciously helping pay for it. Bless them.

**I know these are just dogs. There are people who have real, substantial problems. People who are suffering. People whose babies are suffering.**

My husband's work has been extremely difficult for him lately. Lots of reasons. He's been quite discouraged. I feel terrible for him. He's been with the company 17 years. There is a lot at stake, much invested, many responsibilties are held at home and at work. Men who uphold their families carry a heavy burden. I am proud of him. Even in the hard times, we are both grateful for continuous employment. That in itself is blessing enough. It's good to remember that.

The drama here seems so silly in the face of what happened only an hour away in Aurora last weekend. Our hearts have broken for the victims of the shooting. I have spent many hours thinking about them, and the shooter. The story of the 25 year old man who laid down his 4 month old baby and left him in the theater (along with his girlfriend and her 4 year old daughter) then ran to safety himself, has had me horribly saddened, sickened, and honestly perplexed about when it is acceptable to say someone's behavior is not good, when to set a standard that we expect to be upheld, and when we should simply love with compassion. I used to run in circles with Christians who were very harsh on others and I did not like that at all. It's something I've been working on getting away from.

I get confused about this type of thing as a parent all the time. I would like to use this man's actions as an example of what not to do in the face of danger. We are raising 4 young men. I truly don't want to be critical or high minded though - especially to the victims of such a heinous crime. (It is alright to call it that, right? Perhaps the shooter is a victim too. Should he not be judged?) Maybe no lines should be drawn, ever about personal conduct. But that could make for one wacky world, no? Because we would all go around limitlessly infringing upon each other without end. I do believe there is something to be said for accountability and bravery and heroism and manhood and womanhood and honor and nobility and selflessness. And, for taking your baby with you as you run for cover. But, that's just me. And Lord, knows, I myself fall short of my lofty ideals. Daily, I do. And still I feel that if my husband left our child behind to save himself when they were both in grave danger, our marriage would face a MAJOR crisis. I'm glad he would not. I know that for sure. Another blessing. An honorable man, protecting our family as he provides for it.

(If anyone has the answers to these questions, please clue me in! ;-)

**My kids. They can't stop fighting. All the time. They have the summertime blues. It's giving me the summertime crazies.**

And sometimes this is just the way life goes....
The sweet wouldn't taste so sweet without a little bite of bitter in between.

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